Rolling in the Moonlight: 10 Lessons for a Rex-y Body

There is a lot for me to learn about roller skating.  Fortunately, Moonlight Rollerway in Glendale, CA was...

Open!

As if the lure of skating wasn't enough, the mellow hum and multi-color glow of the neon-lit
entry to Moonlight Rollerway got my wacky tacky juices going.

Our friend Anna, of Easy Acres Chicken Sitting, rounded up some of the gang to spend an evening at the rink boning up on the finer points of roller rink protocol - staying upright on skates was the least of my worries.  Here are the ten most valuable lessons of life in the rink.

It's not what it looks like; Denise & Anna weren't sitting long enough
to get the bench warm.  We were there to SKATE!

I had absolutely no idea why there was on oversized, sand-filled, ceramic
frog at the front door.

Lesson #1
It was obvious that I was a novice skater.
The first, and most important, rule of the rink is,
"NO GUM ALLOWED."

Lesson #2

You are at a roller rink - dress accordingly and be ready to participate.

Dress code: Be "Neat & Clean"

"No visiting; everyone must have

 a ticket and must wear skates"

Lesson #3

I look amazing in roller skates.

Actually, I  think the two different laces signify

the increased threat level to more experienced 

skaters of skating anywhere in my general vicinity.

The interior of Moonlight Rollerway taught me Lesson #4.
The slower you roll, the further out you should skate.
The center of the rink is for experienced skaters both in speed and technique.
Interestingly, the same is true when it comes to dancers on a large dance floor.
The center of the rink is even painted with formations should a figure skater choose to practice.

Lesson #5
Tuesday is organ night!
Almost all roller rinks of a certain age were fitted for organ accompaniment - canned music came much later.
By far, the best part of the night was Dominic on the Hammond Organ.
The mirror above his head is for the benefit of skaters; one can watch all the action on the keyboard.

Lesson #6
 Rexing is for lovers.

As is evidenced by this beautifully executed silhouette,
"rexing" is roller dancing.  Apparently, rexing can be
done alone, in pairs, or as a trio. The rexual activity at
Moonlight Rollerway can get pretty intense.

Sexy Rexers.
They were rexing all night long.

Lesson #7
 Roller Disco is not dead.
Don't let the fact that 1979 (the magical year of
Roller Disco-themed classics like "Skatetown, USA"
and "Roller Boogie") was well over 30 years ago fool
you into believing that a "Disco Roller Rink" is a
thing of the past.

"Skatetown, USA" (1979)


"Roller Boogie" (1979)

Lesson #8
A Slush Puppie by the snack bar is the nearest thing to Heaven on Earth.
I haven't had a Slush Puppie since I was 10 years old.
Dang, they're delicious! 

Lesson # 8-A
Ladies love a man with a Slush Puppie!
Side note:  How badly did I want to hang on to
the locker key safety-pinned to my sweater?

Lesson #9
Real roller skaters always carry their pencils in a crocheted pencil cozy.
It occurred to me that carrying a sharpened pencil
whilst skating might prove for some future medical
trauma, but they were selling these in the pro shop,
so I figured it must be safe.

Lesson #10
Skating is over at 10:30.
"Goodnight Couples"

Honestly, roller skating was a huge success.  I hadn't had skates on in many years and it only took a few trips around the rink for all my old moves to return - that is to say, skating forward without falling down.  I'm pretty sure I am ready to shoot the duck!!!  If my "10 Lessons for a Rex-y Body" aren't enough inspiration to strap on the old quads, here's a "Popeye" cartoon that will surely have you heading to the roller rink in no time.

"A Date to Skate" (1938)

Moonlight Rollerway

5110 San Fernando Road

Glendale, CA

(818)241-3630

moonlightrollerway.com

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny