Tiki Time: Hong Kong Inn

I recently watched friends and acquaintances profess their undying love for tiki culture in the well-received documentary, "Plastic Paradise."  With a Polynesian bruddah-in-law, a hapa-haole nephew, and a mother who spent many of her formative years on the island of Oahu, I feel like there was no escaping my own predilection for Polynesian pop.

Incredible logo and art direction by Kevin Kidney
(Source)

As much as I enjoyed the program, I was a little disheartened at the documentary's discussion of the fundamental role Chinese food played in the tiki movement; it made me think of Hong Kong Inn, Ventura, CA's recently-shuttered outpost of 1960's-era Chinese food and Polynesian entertainment.  I was sad that I'd never had the chance to enjoy the hopistality of the Kwan brothers who opened Hong Kong Inn in 1964.  Seeing Hong Kong Inn's final Facebook post that read, "After 48 wonderful years, 100,000 Scorpions and Mai Tai's, 3,600 Polynesian revues, 10 children, and 15 grandchildren, the Hong Kong Inn of Ventura will be closing its doors on November 30, 2012.  We're retiring," I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to survive on the myth, the legend that was Hong Kong Inn.

Hong Kong Inn - Ventura, CA
Good wicky wacky tiki tacky always begins with a good sign!

Then one happy day, about two weeks ago, my uncle sent me a beautiful picture. 

"Grand Re-Opening: Under New Management"
Could it be true?!

Without dallying, I hopped straight onto the Google and searched for documented proof of Hong Kong Inn's rebirth.  I nervously dialed the phone number that I found online, half expecting a disconnected line or an interminable ringtone.  I was overjoyed at the sound of a sweet human voice who confirmed the restaurant's reopening and the perpetuation of Hong Kong Inn's finest traditions.  At the very first opportunity, all available members of the wacky tacky adventure team hit the road for old Hong Kong.

Emily was so happy when she learned that at Hong Kong Inn she wouldn't
have to make a choice; they have Chinese AND American food!!!

The rest of us were immediately impressed by the lanterns, the twelve-foot mural of
Hong Kong's Victoria Harbour, the highly-decorated bar, and the awesome placemat graphics!

I have never considered the position of celebrity-chef, Gordon Ramsay, a particularly enviable one; on top of the
daily root touch-ups and impossible highlight maintenance, there is the relegation of all that shameless, persona-propagating, coronary-inducing, red-faced bellowing to Friday nights on the Fox Network.  Never let it be said, however, that I am not a sucker for a good makeover.  I don't want to intimate that Hong Kong Inn is a prime candidate for Ramsay's "Kitchen Nightmares," but it wouldn't take much doing, in terms of decorating and recipe revision, to make it a "Kitchen dream come true."

Instead of dwelling on paltry, culinary quibbles, let's take a moment to observe Jesse
performing what I can only assume is a tiki mating ritual - the offering of the half-eaten rib.

Even if the food at Hong Kong Inn isn't the very best "Chinese & American Food" you've ever eaten, I'm told that the wealth of rum-infused tropical drinks more than makes up for any deficits.  Plus, the real purpose of our pilgrimage north of the Los Angeles/Ventura County line was Hong Kong Inn's finest offering, the "Polynesian Review!"* 

"Expressions of Polynesia," the exotic, island-style floor show as masterfully
presented by the talented performers from Kealoha & Company, is Hong Kong
Inn's greatest legacy.

Did someone say hips?!?!!

With more than twenty performers (dancers, singers, musicians), more than twenty musical numbers, and more than twenty costume changes, "Expressions of Polynesia" is more than enough fun for the entire family.  The two-hour spectacle is an interactive experience with opportunities to join the dance troupe on stage for some hip shaking and ball swinging - poi balls, that is.

Usually it's a bad night when a pair of poi balls makes intimate contact with another 

very significant pair but nothing could dampen the fun of participating in the show! 

My poor poi performance notwithstanding, the whole show was wonderful!
My very favorite performers were actually a dynamic mother-daughter duo.
Tina (mother) was the stage manager, musical director, comic relief, and
songstress for the evening; if you've never heard the bone-chilling beauty
of Polynesian harmonies, then do yourself a favor and find Tina ASAP.  Her
daughter was a premier dancer among the spectacular troupe; I was so taken by
her dancing, particularly the mind-blowing, Tahitian duck walk, that I completely
forgot to capture it on video.

We had such a great time at Hong Kong Inn; by the end of the evening, all typical restaurant protocol was broken as we chatted, mixed, mingled, and table-hopped.  Hong Kong Inn's Polynesian review had all the luxury of a lavish luau and all the honest charm of a homespun hukilau.

Mahalo, Mauru'uru, and Fa'afetai, and Xie Xie to Kealoha & Co. and Hong Kong Inn!!! 

If you have a taste for tiki, if you want for wacky tacky, if you long for old Hong Kong, be sure to make your way to Hong Kong Inn.  Go for the chow mein, stay for the ALOHA!!!

Hong Kong Inn
435 E Thompson Blvd
Ventura, CA
(805)648-3161

hongkonginnonline.com

*The Polynesian Review is only performed on Friday and Saturday nights from 7:30-9:30PM (early arrival is highly recommended)


Cheers and Talofa!

Mr. Tiny

Tiki Time: Polynesian Pops at the Tiki Apartments

After spending so much time scanning the horizon for the strange and exciting in this world, I feel like I have been blessed with a divining rod for the wacky tacky.  Sometimes we don't even have to search; led by some greater force, the wacky tacky is simply thrust upon us!  Such was the case this weekend when on a scenic drive through our coastal communities, we stumbled upon the Tiki Apartments in Redondo Beach, CA.

I have never loved apartment living.  There is something a little claustrophobic to me about shared walls, and something a little unnerving about footsteps on the ceiling.  The Tiki Apartments might provide enough Mai Tai magic to cure me of my phobia.

   

Providing a watchful eye over the tenants, these 

tiki gods line the walkway into the complex.

It came at the cost of several pedestrians (who should have known to jump out of the way when they saw us jumping the median), but I'm sure they were more than thrilled to make the sacrifice so we could manage throw the wacky wagon in park and get some pictures of this inspired island of Polynesian pop.  There was so much to love about this place - the outrageous, orange,  "Tiki" script, the lush landscape, the tikis themselves - but one of my favorite parts was the multicolor/metallic/iridescent mosaic tiles that created bold stripes on the facade of the building.

Surrounded by The High Tide, The Sea Gull, The Shore Break and many other ocean-themed apartments, the Tiki, and its sister buildings, prove that a little theming goes a long way in making a generic, mid-Century apartment complex something wonderful, wild, and wacky tacky.

Don't you just want to throw a lei around
 this tiki and get the luau started.

Imagine the parties!!!
I think if I lived here, I couldn't be stopped from throwing one giant, perpetual, Polynesian party!

Having grown up a very short distance from the Ala Moana Apartments, a fantastically tiki-styled building marked by an extreme A-frame entryway, there was no reason for me to be so mesmerized by the south seas theming of these apartments, but the Tiki is just so glittering and glamorous.  Although there were two people silently soaking in the sun poolside, from somewhere, probably drifting in on the ocean breeze, we could hear a hula. 

"Hawaiian Hula" - Ana Lani & Ray Kinney

Did we mention that this place is just a short walk from the beach?  Where's my muumuu, I'm ready to move in!!

Tiki Apartments

389 Palos Verdes Blvd.

Redondo Beach, CA

Cheers & Aloha!

Mr. Tiny

Hoopin' It Up!

I have threatened to give up on learning.  Sometimes I think that there is only so much information that my brain is capable of retaining and I fear that I am near max capacity with the essentials - movie trivia, the schedule of my TV programs, and how many ounces are in a cup.  Before I discontinue the learning process entirely, I just need to know one more thing, just one more thing and I'm done.  Since when did hula hooping become performance art?  

Not so very long ago, we went to a local "art walk," you know the kind - open galleries, vendors peddling their wares, artists, food trucks, music, hula hoopers....Hula hoopers?!!!  Yep, the headlining act for the evening was a hula-hooper...45 solid minutes of nothing but hoopin'.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate some fancy hoopin', but 45 minutes?  By minute seventeen, I was a little, shall we say, irritated.  

Show off!
(Source)

I could have walked away, but nothing gets me as committed to a one-sided standoff like my own irritation.  Was I irritated by the hooper's unbelievable stamina?  Was I irritated by the costume choice - vampire Rainbow Bright meets homeless, pirate/stripper/hippie/nurse?  Was I irritated by the inexplicable musical selections?  (My next project is a compilation album; the working title is, "Songs to Hoop By," but I'm actually leaning towards, "Hoop, There It Is").  Was I irritated by the fact that no matter how hard I try, I have NEVER been able to master the proper hula motion and therefore, in the last 30+ years have never successfully hooped?  Had I allowed the seething bitterness of jealousy to overcome the entirety of my being?

While it's never been in women's foundation garments, I have always
pictured myself being able to hula hoop for hours with the similar
carefree countenance  of these happy hoopers.
(Source)

In short, yes.  The fact is, I pride myself on moving with relative ease.  I love to dance and hula is in my family.  My mother's formative years were spent in Hawaii (hula lessons/performances were basically mandatory) and my brother-in-law, a native Hawaiian, has worked as a professional Polynesian dancer.  Okay, so the actual Hula and the Hula Hoop have very little in common, but come on, what gives?  Why can't I hoop it up?  My best guess has something to do with a pathetic combination of factors - the relative girth of my equator, damnable gravity, and the fact that for my entire life I have been plagued by nothing but an endless stream of faulty Hula Hoops (I am concurrently penning a strongly-worded letter to the higher-ups at Wham-O).

The girl on the right is my personal hero.  Hoopin' and eating?
Heaven must be missing an angel!!
(Source)

Yeah, I can swirl it on my arm and even around my neck.  Yeah, when I was much smaller, I could use it as a "jump rope," but I could never shake the feeling that I was my parents' biggest disappointment when they saw all of the other kids on the block - feet firmly planted, knees bent, moving in an otherworldly rhythm creating a deafening hum as the beans or rice or BB gun pellets (or whatever it is they put inside there) swirled in seemingly perpetual motion - and then saw me, probably picking my nose and pretending the hoop was a steering wheel on a giant car.

That would be me - the one looking for a hiding place in the armpit of a
girl and bracing myself for impact, afraid that the hoop would somehow
break free and hit me in the face.  "No, not my glasses!"
(Source)

Anyhow, all of this got me thinking about the Hula Hoop.  My tendency is to think of pop culture fads exclusively as historical relics. I am always operating under the mistaken notion of "simpler times, simpler minds."  But try telling yourself just how terribly-modern and sophisticated you are whilst performing "The Macarena."  The mere mention of "The Macarena" reminds us that we've all been unwitting participants in the pop culture paradigm at some point in history.  Sorry, sorry, to quickly get your mind off of "The Macarena," here are some fun facts about the Hula Hoop. 

* Based on an Australian design, Hula Hoops were trademarked by Wham-O, Inc. in 1958.

* In the first four months of production, over 25 million Hula Hoops were sold (more than 100 million 

   in the first year).

* The first Hula Hoop-themed song was recorded by Teresa Brewer in 1958.

"Hula Hoop" - Teresa Brewer (1958)

* The Hula Hoop was inducted into The National Toy Hall of Fame in 1999.

* Ball bearings were the original noisemakers added to the inside of the Hula Hoop after a drastic drop  

   in sales in the mid-1960's.

* The origins of a similar hoop being used for exercise/recreation date back to the 6th Century B.C.

* I am hopeless at hoopin'.

* Although it didn't really happen that way, The Hudsucker Proxy ingeniously used The Hula Hoop as   

   a device to tell the story of corporate greed.

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)

* Some famous hoopers of yesteryear include Art Linkletter, Jane Russell, and Sue Lyon.

Art Linkletter showing kids that adults do the darnedest things.
(Source)

Jane Russell making it look easy.
(Source)

Sue Lyon's seduces James Mason in Lolita.
Not to get too deep (or too obvious, maybe?), but could they have chosen a more appropriate
 and effective tool than the Hula Hoop to communicate the danger of Lolita -
all the innocence of a child's toy and all the hip action of much more adult pastimes
(Source)

I guess I can stop learning now as my question appears to have been answered.  Judging by this vintage photograph taken from Life magazine, hoopin' has been a performance art from the Hula Hoop's earliest days.

A performer at a nightclub floor
show getting her hoop on!
Now that's my kind of art!!!
(Source)

Here's hopin' your hoopin' is a heapin' helpin' better than mine!!!

 

"Rock-A-Hula"

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny