Chow Time: Woolworth's 5 & 10 Luncheonette

What would you do if you had a time machine?  Like a lot of history enthusiasts, it is a question that often crosses my mind.  It might sound silly and superficial, but I would definitely employ my time machine for regular shopping trips to Woolworth's.  For me, a time machine would only be as good as the history I could bring "back to the future" with me; and the things I love most are the ephemeral objects offered at bargain prices from Woolworth's - greeting cards, holiday decorations, Halloween costumes, etc.  The city in which I grew up had a long-standing 5&10, Gilbert's, but by the time I had money enough to do my own shopping, the days of five and ten-cent items were long gone.  Gilbert's finally gave up the ghost in the 1990s when it could no longer be seen through the forest of Dollar Trees.

Even at the worst of times, in my entire life I have never shoplifted.  And yet, my favorite scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's is when Holly and Paul outwit the store detective to steal masks from the Woolworth's.  I've watched the scene over and over as much for the vicarious thrill of larceny as for creating a mental shopping list (masks included) should my Woolworth's/time travel scenario ever become a reality.

Woolworth's shoplifting scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's

Thankfully, there is a place that provides a bit of time travel without the necessity of a flux-capacitor.  In the heart of downtown Bakersfield, CA stands one of the only remaining Woolworth's Luncheonettes still in operation.  Built in 1936, the heyday for glorious Streamline storefronts, the building houses both the lunch counter and a bilevel antique store.  Excited to see a beautifully preserved retail environment and hungry from our drive, we made Woolworth's Luncheonette the first stop on Mr. Tiny's Bakersfield Birthday Bonanza!

Would you believe that this was Mr. Tiny's first visit to a proper luncheonette?
What was more exciting, lunch at a lunch counter or color coordinating?  I just don't know!

Purists might poo-poo the paltry cosmetic updates of the luncheonette.  Rather than wasting even one calorie on negativity, we tried to burn off our lunch in high praise of the folks who keep this landmark alive with the sites and smells of 20th-Century American life!

Sure, the red-vinyl barstools and checkerboard floor are a little corny but they are more than made up for by the gorgeous, curved, honey-blonde wood panelling punctuated by rose-gold mirrors, the terrazzo staircases with their Streamline Deco banisters, and the beautiful utility of all that classic, chrome, soda fountain fixturing! 

Don't go to Woolworth's expecting a full diner menu; you will find no meatloaf, no Adam and Eve on a raft, no blue plate special.  Proving that too many choices is not always a good thing, Woolworth's Luncheonette graciously limits the options to hamburgers, hot dogs, and a few sandwiches.  They do, however, offer a wide variety of old-timey fountain treats and some of the freshest lemonade I've ever tasted.

I don't know if it was just my surroundings leaving me defenseless against the
power of suggestion, but the hamburger actually tasted deliciously old-fashioned!

Even with full stomachs, a packed itinerary, and daylight burning, we couldn't bring ourselves to leave Woolworth's without at least a brief exploration of the antique store's offerings.

Since it was our first stop of the day, we didn't want to blow the birthday budget in one pop.  As
much as I was drooling over the graphics on this souvenir "Note Tote" with the original stationery
and letter opener, I settled instead on a few nicely-priced Christmas ornaments.

Had they fit in the wacky wagon (and had they been for sale),
I surely would have "settled" for this fantastic foursome as well!!! 

Without the benefit of time travel, I guess we'll never get the chance to turn a pocketful of change into a Woolworth's shopping spree.  Thankfully, there are thoughtful business owners who allow the visiting preservationists within us the opportunity to experience the same luxury of luncheonette service that Bakersfield residents have enjoyed for nearly eight decades.  Thanks to Woolworth's Luncheonette, we think we've found a million-dollar baby in the five-and-ten cent store!

"I Found a Million Dollar Baby (In a Five and Ten Cent Store)" - Bing Crosby

Did you grow up frequenting your local five-and-dime?  Have you ever stopped at the Woolworth's in Bakersfield?  We encourage you to make Bakersfield more than a mere blur as you whiz by on your north or southbound travels; take the time to time travel with a stop at Woolworth's for a soda, a sandwich, and some shopping!

Woolworth's Luncheonette & Five-and-Dime Antique Mall
1400 19th St
Bakersfield, CA
(661)321-0061


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Collecting: "Dig" This Crazy Apron

It's not often that I buy anything from proper antique stores, but the way prices are skyrocketing at thrift stores, sometimes the deals are better and the sifting/digging element is minimized.  A while back we were at a local antique hotspot and we found a crazy apron.  No really, a "Crazy Apron."  Because I am also crazy, it took me two seconds flat to justify shelling out the dough for this entirely unnecessary piece of goods.  It was cheap (that's coming from someone who usually refuses to pay more than $3.99 for anything).  It was NOS.  It was a specimen of wacky tacky the likes of which there was nothing similar in our archives, and it was asking for a good home.  Since it was clear that nobody with a good home wanted it, it had to settle for my house.

"'Dig' This Crazy Apron"

As she will no doubt demand recognition, it was Mary who spotted the apron first.  Although, to be fair, it was on an eye-level shelf in a booth populated by items of muted and tones and entirely dissimilar provenance.  In short, it stuck out like a sore thumb so I can't give her too much credit.  Because this apron was new in its original packaging, we were fortunate to get the paper label that showed the other styles in the same line of novelty aprons created by the Parvin Manufacturing Company of Los Angeles.

Boy Howdy, would I have liked to have found the
"Chuckwagon Charlie" cowboy apron.  I love anything
western themed!

But I still count myself lucky to have ended up with "The Playboy" model.
"Illustration of apron in this package"
The Playboy, No. 461, is described on the package as
"Real animated fun in the most laugh-provoking apron ever designed!
Fascinating surprise pockets, crying towel, roving plastic eye, zipper,
cork, genuine fur trim [editor's note: there is no trace of fur trim
anywhere on the apron, genuine or otherwise], plastic bouttonniere, etc.
A host of amusing mottos and jokes!"

The Playboy

Was the fur trim supposed to be on his hat?
Also, to what is this in reference?  I couldn't make sense
 of it as an "amusing motto" or a "joke."

I'm the Chuck Norris of home cooks
 - I make the onions cry.

Tell me about it!!!

A cork "For the hole in your head"
I needed this apron like I needed another hole in my head
so the cork came in quite handy.

This is how I was raised.  Strangely enough, it
 never occurred to me to leave food behind...

Cause I'm the champ!!!

"Or"?!?!?!?!
Everything I want is illegal, immoral AND fattening!

to evil from evil

They call me Mr. Tiny but you can call me Mr. Tiny; I like to keep it professional.

Kilroy even makes an appearance.

A playboy is just a boy unless he is PLAYing a little grab a**!
Should an unruly partygoer disregard the warning, giving the fanny a pinch,
he would receive an unpleasant surprise... 

A squirt in the face courtesy of the plastic bouttonniere.
Unfortunately, sometime during the last half-century, the rubber
bulb and tube that propelled the water dried out and disintegrated.
 It would be easy enough to replace but knowing myself as well as I do,
 that will never happen.

At the Early Bird Cafeteria, you'll get your food, but there is only one item on the menu.

Now that is cheeky!
Just below the waist, there is an Emergency Exit.

I made vintage-style aprons for a long time and sold them relying on the fact that people's enthusiasm for vintage would actually carry over into their cooking and entertaining endeavors.  But I still wonder, does anyone actually wear an apron?  I cook all the time and NEVER wear one.  Indeed, chances are great that I'll never wear this apron..

...at least not for its intended purpose.
I so wanted to make it look like I was wearing nothing but the
 apron but that is truly an image that would haunt your dreams!

What about you?  Do you wear an apron when you get cookin'?  What's your favorite apron in your collection?

"Hey, Good Lookin'" - Hank Williams

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny