Showing posts with label christmas crafts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas crafts. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Crazy Crafty: I'm Dreaming of a BIG Dream Pet!

Perhaps it is the flocks ("herds" doesn't allow for such clever word play) of flocked reindeer so ubiquitous at the holidays. Perhaps it is because they are the only pets that don't amplify my seasonal allergies.  Or perhaps it is the fact that they are a perpetual line item (bold and underlined) on my yearly letters to Santa Claus.  Whatever the reason, Dream Pets always remind me of Christmas.  It doesn't really matter that the only two Dream Pets I own that are not currently in storage include a backpacking squirrel and a red-and-white poodle; I can't help but get wistful for the holiday season whenever I see a Dream Pet.

At least I think it's a poodle...

One might think that after my tedious dealings with Mary's Showgirl Halloween costume that I would have gotten my fill of red velveteen but after giving the remnants a second look, I started dreaming of a big Dream Pet.  Attempting to recreate the red-and-white poodle Dream Pet in a large scale, would be my way of finally setting Halloween aside and welcoming in the winter holiday.

I actually had nearly all the materials on hand - red velveteen, fiber fill,
button nose, pink material for the tongue and eyelids, and black vinyl for the
eyelashes.  The only thing I needed to buy was one skein of nubby white yarn!

Much like the crack team at Madame Tussaud's, I had to carefully study my subject, taking countless measurements, making several plaster molds, and photographing it from every angle.

Or maybe, and much more likely, I just dove head first into making my own pattern with
absolutely no technical understanding of pattern drafting/grading for poodles whatsoever.

After one rough draft, I started sewing, pushing past the usual thoughts of, "This is never going to work," that occur whenever I begin a new project.  I was afraid I had hit a major roadblock when, after stuffing its red, velveteen body, I sewed the Dream Pet shut and stood up, or rather tried to stand up, my strange, faceless creation.  The disproportionately-gargantuan head toppled the pet over every time.  Mildly discouraged, I forged ahead, figuring that adding the tail would act as a suitable counterbalance; and wouldn't you know, it worked! 

What resulted, however, was hardly an exact replica of the toy.
Generously described as only a reasonable facsimile, the poodle's
fluffy fur was achieved by making the world's longest chain of single 
crochet (I'm trying to make that sound fancy but after one lesson, 
more than fifteen years ago, the only crochet stitch I still remember 
how to do is a single crochet).  I simply wrapped the legs and looped 
the crochet chain over the tail's wire frame.

Sure, my big Dream Pet's enormous head is cocked at a jaunty angle, the fur is bright white, and the eyes
are a little high on the head.  Nevertheless, I think this pair could easily pass in public as parent and child.

To heighten the seasonal splendor, and to avoid the inevitable cease-and-desist
orders from the Dakin Corporation, I averted what would otherwise be considered
blatant trademark infringement by making my Dream Pet's bow out of vintage
"Velvette" ribbon in emerald green and topping it with a holiday pick from the
local cake supply store!

This Christmas, while most people are dreaming about luxury goods and a giant, red bow atop a brand new car, you can be sure that Mr. Tiny's Dream Pet reverie will only be briefly interrupted by the occasional visions of sugarplums dancing in my head.  

The most common emails I receive all revolve around the same basic
question, "Mr. Tiny," they ask, "in what do you sleep?"  The answer is
always the same - my glasses and a stocking cap, you weirdos!

Incidentally, the photographer indicated that this is possibly the most disturbing
photo she's ever had to take of me.  All I can say is, "Sweet dreams, everybody!"

Do you dream about Dream Pets?  Do you collect them?  Which is your favorite?  Does a giant Dream Pet defeat the purpose of these terrifically-tiny little toys?  Whether you dream of Dream Pets or White Christmases, we hope that all your holiday dreams come true!

"White Christmas" - Bing Crosby


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Crazy Crafty: Christmas Corsages

My maternal great-grandmother died before my fifth birthday.  My memory of her - and everything else for that matter - is more than a bit foggy.  To the best of my recollection she was a warm woman who loved her electric organ, loved her giant, desert tortoise, Lollipop, and loved treating the kids in my family to cheese puffs from a cardboard canister, syrupy "juice" drinks from waxy, little bottles, and Sunkist Fruit Gems - favorites to this day (leave it to me to remember little beyond the treats she gave us).

Great-Grandma
I'm disappointed in our imaginations; "Great-Grandma" is exactly what we called her.
At least you can see one source of my sturdy build and substantial upper arm.
(Also, how's this for my first-ever attempt at free, online faux-toshop? )

I think it is impossible to be truly "fancy" in San Bernardino, CA - especially in the days when the town was just a sun-burned, suburban stop long Route 66.  However, as a member in good standing of the Order of the Eastern Star, my great-grandma had plenty of opportunities to wear formals (of her own design and making, of course).  Based on her photographs from the middle part of the 20th Century, it seems that every Eastern Star occasion warranted a fancy formal and one simply could not wear a formal without a corsage - particularly at Christmas.

Even in her waning years, she still donned a full head
of hair, her own(ed) teeth, and a Christmas corsage.  Between the
specs and the corsage, I'm, digging the pink and gold color story!

A Christmas corsage is exactly what it sounds like; overtly festive and overly large, it is like a prom corsage that has been kissed by 1,000 spastic elves.  Traditional features include metallic leaves, miniature ornaments, flocked pine cones, bells, berries, holiday figurines, miles of looped ribbon, and sometimes, just sometimes, flowers.  If you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be your grandma's Christmas tree, just slap on a Christmas corsage and you're halfway there.

"Christmas Corsage: Ideal for table decorations,
boutonnieres, gift wrap trims"
(Source)

It is hard to say exactly why the Christmas corsage has fallen out of favor as the compulsory holiday accessory for women, except for the fact that on the whole they are cheap, gaudy, and usually quite massive.  Oddly enough, these are the exact qualities we seek when selecting our holiday apparel.

These examples of holiday corsages prove that while granny dear
was unique in many things - corsages were not one of them.
(Source 1, 2, 3, 4)

It is difficult to think of Christmas corsages as having an entirely-bad reputation; they have become so déclassé that they really have no reputation at all.  I don't think most folks would know a Christmas corsage from a tacky assemblage of fake florals and holiday trimmings...oh, right...  I suppose it is entirely possible that they are still a part of every festive woman's holiday ensemble in some areas of the world, but this year, I'm making it my mission to pin a little more wacky tacky onto the bosom of American womanhood.

The inspiration for my crazy crafting came from both the
photos of my great-grandmother and this lone, vintage
corsage that I had among all of my holiday hoardings.

Here is my recreation, using only materials that I had on hand.
Thanks to a few friends, I had the vintage bell ornament, miniature
toadstool, and Christmas tree.  I made the candy cane out of pipe
cleaner and the rest came from the flower section of my own personal
craft emporium.  I bound all of the wire and stems together with green,
velvet ribbon and dusted the whole thing with clear glitter.

Because I made all of the women in my life promise to wear a corsage this year, I decided that I had to make a few that were traditional and slightly more subdued in nature.

Somehow, they still turned out giant, glittery, and weird.

Figuring that any further attempt at making an understated Christmas corsage would be futile, I started deconstructing and reconstructing every bit and bob in my stash. 

This one started out as a few different tree
ornaments found at a local thrift store.

Elements of this corsage began life as a
holiday spray at the 99 Cents Only Store.

Like a wacky tacky take on the traditional primary colors,
I think aqua, red, gold, and silver might be my favorite
new holiday color combo. 

Cake toppers, tutti-frutti shoe clips, and a repurposed
flower bunch were the founding members of the
corsage I call, "California Christmas."

One never knows when miniature citrus fruit, roses, and
plastic, beach-party figurines will come in handy. 

Growing up in Southern California, I always made
like Bing and dreamt of a "White Christmas."

These days, I will happily take a California
Christmas every time; where else is it socially
acceptable to go for a tandem ride on a giant, vintage
ornament in the dead of winter wearing only a bathing
suit (a grossly-immodest bathing suit at that)?

How do you feel about Christmas corsages - or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa corsages for that matter?  Are you breaking out the glitter and the glue gun for some crazy holiday crafting this year?  Let us know what you're making.


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Friday, December 21, 2012

Crazy Crafty: One More Holiday Craft for a Special Birthday

I love handmade gifts - both given and received.  When contemplating gift options for the "person who has everything," a homemade present is really the only way to ensure that the gift will be unique.  I have been the recipient of some truly spectacular handmade gifts from beautiful paintings to printed t-shirts to one-of-a-kind ceramics.  These are gifts that I truly treasure both for their aesthetic and sentimental value.

Last night we attended the birthday party of our pal, Charles - here is a guy for whom it is impossible to shop (not because he isn't incredibly gracious).  I had a few ideas rolling around in the vast wasteland that is my brain but I was intimidated because my skills can be so easily outclassed.

One dare not bake anything for Charles because he is a gourmand and somehow
manages to elevate the art of mile-high cakes to even new heights!  Here he is with
his (I forgot to take notes on the name) peppermint, mint-chip, junior mint, 5-layer cake!

Obviously a bespoke jacket of woven, brightly-colored, South American fabric would
have been a wardrobe redundancy - so that was out. 

Cookies are clearly out of the question because he, of course, has a friend
who bakes/designs/decorates incredible portrait cookies. 

A pinata seemed ideally wacky tacky and fun, but we were beat to the punch on that one too.

I finally realized that this "King of Kodachrome" needed something related to vintage slides that didn't involve a projector, carousel, or advance button.

A Kodachrome Kabin

The love-child resulting from of the clandestine affair between a shimmering putz house (who could resist her glittering charms?) and a cozy gingerbread house - the kind we made in elementary school out of empty milk cartons and graham crackers - was the best I could do.

I'm not sure if it qualifies as a wacky tacky craft unless tinsel
or glitter is involved, preferably both - obviously. 

I'm sure people who have birthdays close to or, heaven forbid, on Christmas must eventually resign themselves to receiving the dreaded "combo gift" or, at the very least, holiday themed presents for their birthdays; I say that there are certainly worse things in life but I for one am glad I have a little distance between my big day and the big day!

I included a couple of electric tealights that illuminate the slide house from within.
The slides I used were of changing leaves and poinsettias - apropos but not too
precious.

Nevertheless, Charles seemed to like his little Kodachrome Kabin set in the winter woods.  I had a lot of fun making it and we had a blast at his birthday bash.  As socially awkward as I am prone to be, I met a lot of amazing, interesting, talented people and I don't think I embarrassed myself too much.

Mary & Charles
Find it in your heart to forgive her for the dress repeat.
There are so few opportunities to wear a Christmas-
themed squaw dress throughout the year, that I
 made her wear it again!

Well, tell me, are you ready for the big day?  Are you making any homemade gifts this year?  If you are on the "nice list" what would be your ideal present under the tree?  Ponder these things as you enjoy the true meaning of the holiday - COOKIES!  It is cookies, right?!  Merry Christmas!!!


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Crazy Crafty: Gettin' Christmas Crafty Again???

"More ill-fated Christmas crafting" you're asking (with a very detectable tone of disdain, I might add).  Well, tis the season and I just can't help it after seeing all the cool stuff that everyone is working on.  Sometimes my crafting is born out of lack of funds as was the case with my last Christmas craft - the misbegotten tinsel trees.  Other times, it is born out of the hoarder in me.  I was at work the other day and I had used the last Kleenex (the actual brand, my office is super-swanky like that).  As I was about to throw out the empty box, I took a second look at the large, oval opening and it reminded me of those sugary, Easter egg dioramas with which I have always held more than a mild obsession.  Instead of throwing this valuable commodity into the garbage, couldn't I just as easily keep this Kleenex box and transform into a miniature, Christmas-themed diorama?  I was about to find out.

It is oft said that dog is man's best friend.
I maintain that it is not dog but rather glue gun...
a glue gun AND tinsel pipe cleaner

"Easy" is probably not the best way to express the manner in which this diorama went together.  Old sausage fingers over here didn't realize that working through the existing opening in the box would be much harder than than the wide-open, shoebox dioramas of his elementary school days.  I also didn't realize how dark it was going to be inside a box; some of the details get lost in its dimly lit interior.  Nevertheless, I am pretty satisfied with the outcome.


The dyed and decorated bottle brush trees leave something to be desired
but at wacky tacky the credo is, "too much is never enough."

Oh, did I forget to mention that it has a working fireplace?
Oh yeah!

I hope this holiday season is finding you surrounded by friends and family (and weird homemade crafts) and filled with hope for a wonderful new year!


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Crazy Crafty: Gettin' Christmas Crafty

I am normally not a crafter.  I don't have the patience, the time, the skill, or the money (crafts are EXPENSIVE) to make something that is set on a shelf and/or put away in a cupboard never to be seen again.  Don't misunderstand, I appreciate the skills of you serious crafters out there.  To be perfectly honest, I think it is out of pure, unadulterated jealousy at the nimbleness of your fingers and your never-ending ingenuity, that leaves me at odds with crafts.  Having said that, when the crafting bug bites, I bite right back - generally biting off far more than I can chew.

We live near a little plot of land that is a bastion of unachievable perfection in the world of horticulture/landscaping, namely Roger's Gardens.  For decades it has been, as A Christmas Story so beautifully puts it, a "yearly bacchanalia of peace on Earth and good will to men" - at least for the Martha Stewart set.  We try to go at Christmas time every year because the gardens are transformed into as much of a winter wonderland as Southern California can offer; stately pines end up being more lights than needles, an abundance of Christmas decorations of all sorts are available, and Santa Claus is there. A couple of years ago, while sidling through the crowds and outcroppings of merchandise, I found some tabletop, tinsel trees with beaded garlands and miniature ornaments.  In my eyes they had the primitive quality of mid-century Christmas decorations and all the sparkle of wacky tacky.  I turned one over to check the price tag and nearly had my first heart attack when I saw that this puny, little, ten-inch bit of Chinese manufacture was fifty dollars!  Before my friends could be embarrassed by the volume at which I shouted, "Fifty Dollars?!!  I could make this," I was at the 99 Cents Only Store sourcing materials for my trees.

My trees - not perfect but they get the point across
It took me two years to get them made; I told you, I'm not a crafter.
The total cost per tree is less than three dollars!
I guess that last sentence could have gone without saying...

As fate would have it, we were out doing some thrifting the other day and what did I spy, but one of those selfsame, coronary-inducing trees from Roger's Gardens.  At 96 percent off of the original price, we strapped it to the roof of the wacky wagon and brought it home.

The inspiration for my 99 Cents Store specials.
It's kind of like a glittering version of the Charlie Brown tree.
I wish there were more; I still love them!
The evidence is there, I am just not much of a crafter.  At least my trees are kind of funny and are entirely commensurate with the style guidelines of wacky tacky, right?

Have you been doing any wacky tacky Christmas crafting this year?

Roger's Gardens
2301 San Joaquin Hills Rd
Corona del Mar, CA
(949)640-5800



Cheers!

Mr. Tiny