Hollywood House Hunting: William S. Hart Hacienda

Confession time.  My name is Mr. Tiny and I am an architectural voyeur.  One of my very favorite pastimes is entering homes (mostly lawfully) to see the manner in which people live, to steal decorating ideas, and to exchange whispered bon mots with my companions regarding drapery lengths and furniture placement.  It is a particular pleasure to cross the threshold of historic homes that offer a glimpse into the thoughtful interior architecture from days of yore.  

Given the general consensus, as presented by HGTV and its ilk, I am definitely among the minority who abhors the notion of everyone in my kitchen via an "open concept."  The fact that Mr. Tiny's Kitsch-en Kounter projects are top secret make me appreciate that many older homes offer purposeful distinctions between the living areas and the working areas, adjacent though they may be.  Homes offering such distinctions allow me to imagine myself taking up residence.  After our recent tour of the William S. Hart Ranch & Museum of Newhall, CA, my imagination had me easily installed as lord of the manor or ruler of the ranch, at least! 

"La Loma de los Vientos"
William S. Hart Ranch & Museum - Newhall, CA

The Spanish-Colonial facade of William S. Hart's hill-top manse is slightly misleading in that it perhaps doesn't convey the grandeur befitting one of early Hollywood's greatest film stars.  Born in New York state in the waning days of the Civil War, William S. Hart was a renaissance man whose stardom came as the result of the many careers he tried - including stage acting.  Having once been castmates with legendary film producer, Thomas Ince, Hart was convinced he could move to California and become a star.  By 1925, after seventy pictures (mostly Westerns), Hart was considered Hollywood's undisputed king of the cowboys - with a kingly income to match (he was reputedly making more than Charlie Chaplin).  Life imitated art and in his retirement, Hart selected a large parcel of land in the Santa Clarita Valley on which to live out the wildest of his wild west dreams.

William S. Hart
December 6, 1864 - June 23, 1946
(Source)

The home may look unprepossessing but at approximately 10,000 square feet, the house became a roomy retreat for Hart and a host of his Hollywood compatriots.  With construction completed in 1927, the Hart Ranch, known as "La Loma de los Vientos," became the primary, and final residence, of Mr. Hart and his sister, Mary Ellen.

The sprawling grounds includes many outbuildings including a bunk house and a watchtower/gatehouse
bearing the Spanish name of the estate; "La Loma de los Vientos" translates to The Hill of the Winds.

Immortalized in oil, Bill Hart and his faithful companion, Fritz the horse.
Fritz was Hollywood's first celebrity horse and is said to have been welcomed
to Hart's star-studded dinner parties.

My favorite parts of the house were the hand-
painted Southwest/Native American motifs. 

The circular foyer with its spectacular, vaulted, wagon-wheel ceiling has an adjacent
powder room that graciously afforded road-weary luminaries a place to freshen up.

The beautiful dining room, the breakfast room, and kitchen

The first floor of the home looked like it was paved in bricks.
In fact, it was thousands of redwood blocks that were set
by repeatedly flooding the floor, swelling and locking the
blocks into place.

Rarely do I walk into a home and think, "I wouldn't change a thing."
The only thing that needed changing in the magnificent, second-floor living room of the Hart house was my tune.

A few of the bedrooms and an all-original bathroom

William S. Hart was so wacky tacky in his heart that he included a
bedroom built especially for his beloved dogs.  Dogs eventually laid
to rest in the...

Dogs Graveyard!!!

More than just a house, more than just a pet cemetery, the museum includes a small feeding area for animals (deer, pigs, cows, chickens), a circa-1910 ranch house, log cabins, and sprawling grounds.

"Moo."

It would be impossible to come to the William S. Hart Ranch & Museum without feeling a bit like Hollywood royalty.  The minute I crossed the threshold of La Loma de los Vientos, I earnestly wished that I could move in on a very permanent basis - the very reason I am always conflicted when estates become county institutions/museums.  Even though I find the least expensive Southern California's real estate to be cost prohibitive, the historic landmark status truly eliminates any possibility of me one day owning the property.  And that's a bummer.  On the other hand, were the Hart Ranch and others like it to remain private properties, jerks like me would never get the chance to wander the grounds and dream.

If, in some bizarre twist of fate, I should ever take up residence at the Hart house,
my only real concern would be the persistent pest problem in the trees.

As well as coveting the house, I will also confess that my maturity level (falling way below developmental guidelines for a thirty-something) encouraged me to laugh every time we saw the historic landmark sign and say, "William Shart Ranch & Museum, more like it."  I really should have been more reverent because the benevolent man who built this house always knew that one day he would want to share it with the world; "When I was making pictures, people gave me their nickels, dimes, and quarters.  When I am gone, I want them to have my home."

Thank you, Mr. Hart!

I guess the takeaway is that if you leave your doors unlocked, chances are you will come home to find Mr. Tiny respectfully admiring your built-ins and definitely, definitely, definitely not trying on your clothes...

William S. Hart Ranch & Museum
24151 Newhall Ave
Newhall, CA
(661)254-4584

hartmuseum.org


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny


The William S. Hart Ranch & Museum is one of the special venues included in the yearly Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival.  Tiny & Mary are proud to be featured performers at the 2015 festival on Sunday, April 19.  Please visit the festival website for more details.

Waking the Dead: Sea Breeze Pet Cemetery

See Breeze Pet Cemetery - Huntington Beach, CA

Sea Breeze Pet Cemetery & Crematory is Huntington Beach, CA's premier destination for pet burials and cremations.  Without diminishing its stellar credentials, a rather perfunctory scan of the Yellow Pages reveals that Sea Breeze is the only pet crematorium in Huntington Beach.  Nevertheless, Sea Breeze has been faithfully serving bereaved pet owners since 1961.  Calling our lighthearted cemetery jaunts "Waking the Dead," visiting a pet cemetery is generally a novelty for us; understanding the solemnity of the grounds, however, we do our best to be respectful and follow the rules.

The rules.
Is it wrong to love the sign-painter fonts as much as I do?

In flagrant violation of bullet-point number five, we saw plenty of "standing decorations."
It is always a surprise to see pet cemeteries so lovingly tended and so flush with flowers
in stark comparison to overgrown people plots that so often look completely abandoned.  

Please don't think that the absurdity of the neighboring businesses has escaped me - that's a fast food joint next door.
"Where pets go to die and people go to eat!"  Is that a tag line or a deterrent?
And why do all of Sea Breeze's promotional materials proudly state, "We're Carl's Jr. adjacent!" (okay, not really)

As we wandered the manicured rows of lovingly-maintained markers, I decided to see if there might be some celebrity pet graves at Sea Breeze (we'd seen more than our fair share at Los Angeles Pet Mortuary).  Disappointed after finding no leads, I quickly perked up when I heard a distant voice mention, "two famous stars."  My mind raced wondering which celebrities would have their pets memorialized forever in Huntington Beach - Studs Terkel?  Una Merkel?  It took a moment before I realized that what I was hearing was the Carl's Jr. (Hardee's for those of you east of the Rockies) drive-thru where the "Famous Star" hamburger is a rather cruel joke for celebrity-hungry grave hunters.

We did happen upon one dog who achieved fame in his life;  Old Sarge was a highly-decorated US
Marine Corps dog who received the Purple Heart after saving the lives of nine marines during WWII.
Now that's a celebrity pet worth celebrating!!!

We didn't see the pets of any Hollywood stars but we did see the pets that left stars in the eyes of their owners.  The pet names which humans spend so much time and thought determining are always good for a chuckle.

Sometimes they are ridiculously precious.

And sometimes they are a little "on the nose."

The names can be funny but the breeds can be even funnier.

Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought guinea pigs
and rats were relegated to backyard shoeboxes.

Based on the engraved portrait, I think we're left to assume
that "Coors-Z" was a well-behaved, if bedraggled, Skunk??? 

My favorite grave markers are always those that strike me as odd.

Whether it's a slightly deluded view of the situation ("just asleep"), an alliterative epitaph, a questionable pet-human relationship, or a portrait of a demon cat that looks like it's ready to come back from the grave to eat my face, I never fail to get a kick out of the fascinating choices owners make when it comes to memorializing their pets.

Thousands and thousands of dearly-departed pets have been laid to rest on the grounds of See Breeze Pet Cemetery, but just like Disneyland's Haunted Mansion...

"There's always room for one more."
What?!?!!  Precious Poopy needs an otherworldly playmate.

Sea Breeze Pet Cemetery & Crematory
19542 Beach Blvd
Huntington Beach, CA
(714)962-7111

seabreezepetcemetery.com


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Waking the Dead: Valentine's Pet Edition

I am not one of those people who eschews the conventions of Valentine's Day just because I have no valentine of my own.  I'm not so sure that I buy into the particularly consumer-driven aspects of February 14, but I think it's nice to take at least one day to remember why you love the people around you and to tell them the same.  

Many of my friends are extreme animal lovers and consider their pets members of the family, children, and in some cases, the loves of their lives.  Where else to explore the extent of this love rather than a land set apart and dedicated to the love shared between pets and their humans?  At the Los Angeles Pet Mortuary, the bond people have with the animals in their lives is very apparent; that love seemed to be a great theme for Valentine's Day this year.  Who better to represent this Valentine's theme other than Valentino, Rudolph to be exact.

Rudolph & Kabar

Kabar was bereft at Valentino's passing and let out a
blood-chilling howl at the exact moment of Valentino's
 death.  It is said that Kabar haunts the grounds of the cemetery.
(Source)

We've brought you so many celebrity graves, it seemed only fitting that we share some of the graves belonging to celebrity pets too.  At 85 years old, LA Pet Mortuary is the oldest, official pet cemetery in the Los Angeles area.  By consequence, it has a long list of Hollywood clientele.

Louise Dresser
An Indiana-born actress known for her sturdy
 frame and strong presence in silent films and early
 talkies; she even worked with Valentino in The Eagle.
(Source)

Toppy & Hoppy
(Source)

Chief Thundercloud and Sunny upstage
The Lone Ranger and Silver.
(Source)

It is rumored that Tawny, a star in the Tarzan movies,
 might have been one of the MGM lions as well.

Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller) wrestles Tawny

Although I have no substantiation for my claim, I saw this plaque and
determined that "Bubsie" had to be the beloved pet (cat, dog, horse even)
 of Betty Grable and Harry James.  They got married in '43, so it's possible
 one of them brought the animal to the marriage.

Mr. & Mrs. Harry James
(Source)

This one wasn't recognized as the pet of a celebrity but its name linked it to Hollywood.
Given the premise of the film of the same name, the epitaph is uniquely ironic.

The Los Angeles Pet Mortuary is certainly home to many more celebrity pets including Charlie Chaplin's cat and one of Humphrey Bogart's dogs (with no map or directions, it was difficult to find any of the graves).  One notable grave that we looked for but could not find was Petey, the dog from The Little Rascals.  The attendant on duty was very helpful but explained that he was not allowed to give directions to specific graves, mentioning that Petey's was particularly difficult to locate.

We did find this marker with dates that indicate a dog who could've been
one of the dogs who played "Petey."  The odd spelling led us to believe
that this was a well-intentioned Petey lookalike - maybe a stunt-double. 

The Little Rascals with Pete the Pup

The grounds of the cemetery are sprawling, making it impossible to examine every grave in one short visit.  What I was particularly taken with were the headstones that we were able to see with photographs and portraits of the beloved family pets.

"Return to sender" - AWESOME!!! 

"Beloved little dictator"

I wonder if she saw what was coming.

Wasn't "Zebariah, My Little Lover Boy" a Janice Martin B-side?

I am glad that it said "favorite" instead of "only."

I have mentioned it before, but I am allergic, in varying degrees, to essentially every living creature on the earth.  Thusly, I was not raised around animals and my response to pets is very much like my childhood response to a dodge ball being hurtled at me in P.E. - I duck, I throw my hands up to protect my face, I cry, I panic, I go into shock - you know, the usual.  I hope this post does not seem insensitive, knowing that most people are blessed with an animal-loving gene, but I had a great time at the pet cemetery and could have spent the entire day roaming the grounds looking at the hilarious names and epitaphs; here are a few of my favorites.

I hope there is a "Cold Case" team ready to inspect unsolved pet deaths.
All I'm saying is that I am highly suspicious of a family that names their
pet "Yummy."

I'm also not sure how I feel about a pet being
named after a very serious medical condition.

No matter how old we get, "potty humor" will "always be in our thoughts" too.

Brewster???

Tiger
A Very Special Cat

"My dear sweet Tigy with big blue eyes
So sad and yet so wise
You acted as if you lived 10,000 lives
Proud as a king, brave as a lion
Never knowing an ounce of fear
You were always there to meet us
Always there to give your love
Asking nothing in return
But how you loved people
And all the tricks you learned to please them
You brought love and laughter
Into the lives of so many
You lovable ham who loved an audience
You thought you were just one of the crowd
And never really knew you were a cat
Often we look at the seat where you lay
Not believing that forever you've gone away
Oh how we miss our sweet boy
Without you the world
Has lost some of its sunshine
God will make
A very special place for you"

Penny, Chi Chi, and Princess - the other Andrews Sisters

"Mommy's 'Baby Dog'"

At first I thought "A spider monkey pal" was a humorous description
 of a pet's monkey-like behavior.  I realized then that with a lion as a
neighbor, it is entirely possible, probable even, that this was the final
 resting place of an actual spider monkey.

I'm always a fan of naming pets after much-loved television characters.
For a short time we had fish named Lucy & Ethel.

Can't you just picture a pirate cat with a wooden leg and an eye patch?

Jiggles gave me the giggles

Faux pas for no "Faux Paw," no?

It's a forgone conclusion when you set your dog up with a name like Humpi!

I was kind of wishing that we had taken a step into Who Framed Roger
 Rabbit? and that cartoon Droopy was buried here.

"Millionaire Droopy"

I was always under the impression that Snoopy was a boy.
As it turns out, she was "A lady who thought she was a people."

"Tooth Brushing" with Snoopy & The Peanuts Gang

Maybe my canine doppelganger???

It might be a little unconventional to celebrate the most "romantic" day of the year with images of a pet cemetery, but a wacky tacky Valentine's Day plays by its own rules!  Wherever you are, we wish you a very love-filled and Happy Valentine's Day!

Los Angeles Pet Memorial Park
5068 Old Scandia Lane
Calabasas, CA
(818)591-7037

www.lapetcemetery.com


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny