Friday, May 11, 2012

Pistol Packin' Mama! A Mother's Day Tribute

Today's Woman - March 1952

Mother's Day is upon us and it can be tricky finding the right gift for mom.  Having a difficult time myself, I turned to the March 1952 issue of Today's Woman for inspiration.  

A Girdle?
Maybe, but how do I find out the correct size without spoiling the surprise?

A Weight-Loss Record?
Practical, but maybe telling mom that she needs to drop a few lbs. (40 to be exact) doesn't set the right tone for the occasion.  Also, it is hard to trust this "Wallace" character; weight loss is easy when you're just a floating head.

Mommy and Me Shampoo Goggles?
They seam ideal, but would they get here in time? And 15 cents for handling and postage?!!!
 What do I look like, a Rockefeller?
These gifts would be nice.  But I wasn't looking for just "nice."  I was looking for something that said, "I appreciate all the sacrifices you've made mom; I treasure the time that we get to spend together; I would not be half the man I am today without your careful and loving rearing;  I know it hasn't always been easy, but I hope I've made you proud; I love you, Mom."  Nothing quite says all of these things like an automatic handgun.

Don't relegate mom to "sales representative" for some crummy old dress manufacturer, give her the freedom to pursue the thrilling "night work" in "lonely places" about which she has always dreamed.

"Finally, my very own rod!  Thank you, Jimmy, for my WAC 'fetherlite;' now I can go work down by the docks!  That's right, with my low cost, triple safety, WAC 'fetherlite' I can plug an unruly stevedore or a dirty copper with relative ease.  It's just what I've always wanted!"

"Pistol Packin' Mama" - Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters

Unfortunately, the Western Arms Corporation is no longer an active dealer of firearms, according to this very thorough investigation of the company that I found online.  So, you'll just have to find a reputable dealer in your town or simply go to a bad neighborhood in your local area to find the ideal gift for your mom.  Remember, if you really loved her, you'd get her a deadly weapon. Thanks Today's Woman!  This is sure to be one happy Mother's Day!

"Bang Bang" - Janis Martin

A very heartfelt Happy Mother's Day to my own mom and all the other wacky tacky moms out there!!!  Make your mom proud and follow us on Facebook!  She'll be glad that you did.


Mr. Tiny


  1. LOL!!!!!! I ask for a gun every year but they decline to purchase one for me out of fear I will use it!

    Those shampoo goggles are something else! I like how they are so feminine and subtle. Ahem

  2. If they REALLY loved you, they'd get it for you. There's still hope, Mother's Day is Sunday. Maybe you need to drop a few subtle hints like leaving bullet casings under their pillows. Happy Mother's Day!

  3. The handgun! THE HANDGUN! I also would love to self-identify as a "woman in a lonely place". Hilarious. And I love the clips. :)

    1. My mom said that she had the best Mother's Day ever; it was like an NRA convention over here!