Crazy Crafty: Christmas Corsages

My maternal great-grandmother died before my fifth birthday.  My memory of her - and everything else for that matter - is more than a bit foggy.  To the best of my recollection she was a warm woman who loved her electric organ, loved her giant, desert tortoise, Lollipop, and loved treating the kids in my family to cheese puffs from a cardboard canister, syrupy "juice" drinks from waxy, little bottles, and Sunkist Fruit Gems - favorites to this day (leave it to me to remember little beyond the treats she gave us).

Great-Grandma
I'm disappointed in our imaginations; "Great-Grandma" is exactly what we called her.
At least you can see one source of my sturdy build and substantial upper arm.
(Also, how's this for my first-ever attempt at free, online faux-toshop? )

I think it is impossible to be truly "fancy" in San Bernardino, CA - especially in the days when the town was just a sun-burned, suburban stop long Route 66.  However, as a member in good standing of the Order of the Eastern Star, my great-grandma had plenty of opportunities to wear formals (of her own design and making, of course).  Based on her photographs from the middle part of the 20th Century, it seems that every Eastern Star occasion warranted a fancy formal and one simply could not wear a formal without a corsage - particularly at Christmas.

Even in her waning years, she still donned a full head
of hair, her own(ed) teeth, and a Christmas corsage.  Between the
specs and the corsage, I'm, digging the pink and gold color story!

A Christmas corsage is exactly what it sounds like; overtly festive and overly large, it is like a prom corsage that has been kissed by 1,000 spastic elves.  Traditional features include metallic leaves, miniature ornaments, flocked pine cones, bells, berries, holiday figurines, miles of looped ribbon, and sometimes, just sometimes, flowers.  If you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be your grandma's Christmas tree, just slap on a Christmas corsage and you're halfway there.

"Christmas Corsage: Ideal for table decorations,
boutonnieres, gift wrap trims"
(Source)

It is hard to say exactly why the Christmas corsage has fallen out of favor as the compulsory holiday accessory for women, except for the fact that on the whole they are cheap, gaudy, and usually quite massive.  Oddly enough, these are the exact qualities we seek when selecting our holiday apparel.

These examples of holiday corsages prove that while granny dear
was unique in many things - corsages were not one of them.
(Source 1, 2, 3, 4)

It is difficult to think of Christmas corsages as having an entirely-bad reputation; they have become so déclassé that they really have no reputation at all.  I don't think most folks would know a Christmas corsage from a tacky assemblage of fake florals and holiday trimmings...oh, right...  I suppose it is entirely possible that they are still a part of every festive woman's holiday ensemble in some areas of the world, but this year, I'm making it my mission to pin a little more wacky tacky onto the bosom of American womanhood.

The inspiration for my crazy crafting came from both the
photos of my great-grandmother and this lone, vintage
corsage that I had among all of my holiday hoardings.

Here is my recreation, using only materials that I had on hand.
Thanks to a few friends, I had the vintage bell ornament, miniature
toadstool, and Christmas tree.  I made the candy cane out of pipe
cleaner and the rest came from the flower section of my own personal
craft emporium.  I bound all of the wire and stems together with green,
velvet ribbon and dusted the whole thing with clear glitter.

Because I made all of the women in my life promise to wear a corsage this year, I decided that I had to make a few that were traditional and slightly more subdued in nature.

Somehow, they still turned out giant, glittery, and weird.

Figuring that any further attempt at making an understated Christmas corsage would be futile, I started deconstructing and reconstructing every bit and bob in my stash. 

This one started out as a few different tree
ornaments found at a local thrift store.

Elements of this corsage began life as a
holiday spray at the 99 Cents Only Store.

Like a wacky tacky take on the traditional primary colors,
I think aqua, red, gold, and silver might be my favorite
new holiday color combo. 

Cake toppers, tutti-frutti shoe clips, and a repurposed
flower bunch were the founding members of the
corsage I call, "California Christmas."

One never knows when miniature citrus fruit, roses, and
plastic, beach-party figurines will come in handy. 

Growing up in Southern California, I always made
like Bing and dreamt of a "White Christmas."

These days, I will happily take a California
Christmas every time; where else is it socially
acceptable to go for a tandem ride on a giant, vintage
ornament in the dead of winter wearing only a bathing
suit (a grossly-immodest bathing suit at that)?

How do you feel about Christmas corsages - or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa corsages for that matter?  Are you breaking out the glitter and the glue gun for some crazy holiday crafting this year?  Let us know what you're making.

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Gettin' Christmas Crafty Again???

"More ill-fated Christmas crafting" you're asking (with a very detectable tone of disdain, I might add).  Well, tis the season and I just can't help it after seeing all the cool stuff that everyone is working on.  Sometimes my crafting is born out of lack of funds as was the case with my last Christmas craft - the misbegotten tinsel trees.  Other times, it is born out of the hoarder in me.  I was at work the other day and I had used the last Kleenex (the actual brand, my office is super-swanky like that).  As I was about to throw out the empty box, I took a second look at the large, oval opening and it reminded me of those sugary, Easter egg dioramas with which I have always held more than a mild obsession.  Instead of throwing this valuable commodity into the garbage, couldn't I just as easily keep this Kleenex box and transform into a miniature, Christmas-themed diorama?  I was about to find out.

It is oft said that dog is man's best friend.
I maintain that it is not dog but rather glue gun...
a glue gun AND tinsel pipe cleaner

"Easy" is probably not the best way to express the manner in which this diorama went together.  Old sausage fingers over here didn't realize that working through the existing opening in the box would be much harder than than the wide-open, shoebox dioramas of his elementary school days.  I also didn't realize how dark it was going to be inside a box; some of the details get lost in its dimly lit interior.  Nevertheless, I am pretty satisfied with the outcome.

The dyed and decorated bottle brush trees leave something to be desired
but at wacky tacky the credo is, "too much is never enough."

Oh, did I forget to mention that it has a working fireplace?
Oh yeah!

I hope this holiday season is finding you surrounded by friends and family (and weird homemade crafts) and filled with hope for a wonderful new year!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Gettin' Christmas Crafty

I am normally not a crafter.  I don't have the patience, the time, the skill, or the money (crafts are EXPENSIVE) to make something that is set on a shelf and/or put away in a cupboard never to be seen again.  Don't misunderstand, I appreciate the skills of you serious crafters out there.  To be perfectly honest, I think it is out of pure, unadulterated jealousy at the nimbleness of your fingers and your never-ending ingenuity, that leaves me at odds with crafts.  Having said that, when the crafting bug bites, I bite right back - generally biting off far more than I can chew.

We live near a little plot of land that is a bastion of unachievable perfection in the world of horticulture/landscaping, namely Roger's Gardens.  For decades it has been, as A Christmas Story so beautifully puts it, a "yearly bacchanalia of peace on Earth and good will to men" - at least for the Martha Stewart set.  We try to go at Christmas time every year because the gardens are transformed into as much of a winter wonderland as Southern California can offer; stately pines end up being more lights than needles, an abundance of Christmas decorations of all sorts are available, and Santa Claus is there. A couple of years ago, while sidling through the crowds and outcroppings of merchandise, I found some tabletop, tinsel trees with beaded garlands and miniature ornaments.  In my eyes they had the primitive quality of mid-century Christmas decorations and all the sparkle of wacky tacky.  I turned one over to check the price tag and nearly had my first heart attack when I saw that this puny, little, ten-inch bit of Chinese manufacture was fifty dollars!  Before my friends could be embarrassed by the volume at which I shouted, "Fifty Dollars?!!  I could make this," I was at the 99 Cents Only Store sourcing materials for my trees.

My trees - not perfect but they get the point across
It took me two years to get them made; I told you, I'm not a crafter.
The total cost per tree is less than three dollars!
I guess that last sentence could have gone without saying...

As fate would have it, we were out doing some thrifting the other day and what did I spy, but one of those selfsame, coronary-inducing trees from Roger's Gardens.  At 96 percent off of the original price, we strapped it to the roof of the wacky wagon and brought it home.

The inspiration for my 99 Cents Store specials.
It's kind of like a glittering version of the Charlie Brown tree.
I wish there were more; I still love them!

The evidence is there, I am just not much of a crafter.  At least my trees are kind of funny and are entirely commensurate with the style guidelines of wacky tacky, right?

Have you been doing any wacky tacky Christmas crafting this year?

Roger's Gardens

2301 San Joaquin Hills Rd

Corona del Mar, CA

(949)640-5800

www.rogersgardens.com

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny  

Crazy Crafty: Clean as a Whistle!

California Living: The Magazine of Western Homes & Gardens - November, 1947
Nothing quite says "California House & Gardens" or "Western" like
a living fashion plate at Rockefeller Center in New York City.

So you thought soap carving was a pastime relegated to inmates at your local correctional facility with the end result being a "shank" or a faux handgun?  Tut, tut.  According to one Ms. Lilliace M. Mitchell, "Soap's A Lot of Fun," and soap carving is the ideal activity "for your next party."  Interested?  Read on.

"Soap's A Lot of Fun"
I think I can identify almost every one of the hand-carved figurines above:
rabbit, Springer Spaniel, penguin, somber duckling,
what the baby of a rooster and a moose antler would look like,
breeching dolphin or banana split, woodpecker with a pompadour 

Don't fret over that empty knick-knack shelf!
For a dollar's worth of Ivory and an evening's worth of fun, you can fill that shelf
with handmade beauty!  Don't forget to coat each carving with clear, nail lacquer.

"Here is an example of what you may be able to accomplish after a sufficient amount of practice."
I'm glad we're not setting the "bar" too high, but I think we should leave the carving of nude,
bathing figures to the inmates.

I will be bold and issue a preemptive "You're welcome," for supplying you with the smash hit of your next smart dinner party or apres-theatre soiree.  I can just imagine the looks of astonishment you will receive when you afford each guest his or her own bar of Lifebuoy or Lux and the "stray nails," "discarded manicure implements," and "pen points no longer used for writing."  Certainly, neither you nor your party will soon be forgotten!

Giving "Clean as a whistle" a whole new meaning!
Ah, yes, but how clean is a whistle?

I am not immune to the thrill of soap carving!  I grabbed a
 cake of Lever 2000 Fresh Aloe and carved a fully-functional
soap whistle.  Perfect for the times when one slips and falls
in the shower.

Indeed, soap IS a lot of fun!  Happy Carving!

BONUS: A timely, cartoon featured in the article.

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sew What?! Letting the Cat Out of the Bag!

I am not a cat person.  Truth be told, I am not an anything person as I am allergic to just about everything.  Whatever gene it is that makes people melt at the sight of sweet, little kittens playing with an over-sized ball of yarn is the same one that was replaced in me by the gene that makes my eyes swell shut so I can't even see those precious, little kittens.  I have nothing against animals, or a person's deep bond with them; I only mention it because as I was browsing through some vintage issues of Better Living, I found a cat that changed my thinking and my life. 

Better Living - October 1951

The Cat's Whiskers Bag on the cover of the October 1951 issue of Better Living seemed like an ideal wacky tacky project.  It became even wackier seeing as it is February 21 and the purse is described as an "Amusing Handbag for Fall."  Leave it to me to disobey the better thinking of the editors at Better Living.  Anyhow, despite my hyper-histamine reaction to all things feline, I set out to make the cat's whiskers bag.  Below are the materials list and the instructions from the magazine should you choose to make a Cat's Whiskers Bag of your own.

Materials:

* 1/4 yd. of felt

* A bit of contrasting felt (I used vinyl)

* 2 Buttons for eyes

* 5 Pipe cleaners

* Zipper

* Embroidery floss

The instructions for this "Better Living original."

In true wacky tacky fashion, I abandoned the instructions rather early on.  The finished bag is supposed to measure 7.25" in diameter.  That seemed rather petite to me, so I just used a dinner plate for the circle template and kind of free-handed everything else.  The instructions indicate felt as the material to use, when it is clear from the photograph that the cover girl's purse is made from the same corduroy as her smart hat and coat.  Clearly, the actual purse is only inspired by the cover photo.  In turn, the wacky tacky version is also not an exact replica.  Because I increased the scale of the bag, I had to size-up the eyes and ears as well.  The bag went together very easily but it should be noted that I was rather careless and didn't employ expert techniques (read - hello, hot glue).

I used gray craft felt because it was on sale and it seemed to me that
a cat face bag wouldn't get a lot of use.  I really just intended the bag
 for blog purposes only.  When I showed it to Mary, however, she (also
not a cat lover) squealed and said that it was cool.  I explained that it
 would probably last through only one or two uses.  I am not sure of the
 lifespan of craft felt and pipe cleaners.

Resources from the back of Better Living.
I looked up Bates Fabrics and the only mention I could find
was in a blog post from What I Found.

The finished Cat's Whiskers Bag.
Aside from the felt and pipe cleaners, I used only what was in the
stash including the zipper, iridescent, aqua vinyl, and vintage,
faceted lucite buttons.  MEOW!!!

I am still deathly allergic to cats, but I will "let the cat out of the bag" and admit that there may be a little room for a cat-lover in all of us.


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Putting All My Eggs in One BAG-sket!

I've never been a huge fan of the word "craft."  In the world of "arts & crafts," it is somehow implied that of the two, crafting is the lesser form.  What real skill set is needed to perform any given craft?  A craft is something that we set in front of the elderly and the feeble-minded just to occupy their time.  A paper plate mask is a craft.  A lunch bag hand puppet is a craft.  Peanut marionettes are a craft for heaven's sake!!  I wonder, would Monet look at my glitter-covered gnomes and flamingos and see them as art or would he deride them as mere crafting?  Crafting really is the red-headed step child of the art and design world.  Perhaps I should think of crafting in a different way.  Perhaps I should embrace the word.  After all, I am no high-brow artiste.  I employ everyday objects and the minimal skills I have to make what can most easily be understood as crafts.  I know that many crafters love the word.  In fact, the idea of me besmirching the honorable name of "crafting" is enough to have scrapbookers everywhere calling for tar and feathers.  Nevertheless, I suppose that - in my own way - I craft.

What me crafty?

The lightening bolt of craft inspiration can strike at any time.  One day while perusing the local flea market/junk swap, we found a purse.  No ordinary purse, this wacky tacky number was made of a painted basket, burlap, plastic handles and was decorated with flocked foliage.  Mary was absolutely thrilled because among the things she found inside were vintage lipstick cases (some still filled with what can only be described as fossilized lipstick), hairpins, tissue and various and sundry Avon products.  At three dollars (haggled down from five) the purse was destined to be hers.  Upon further inspection, we noticed a label inside that read "Susie Lee Original by East Texas handbag Co."

The inspiration

Usually, my laziness gets the better of my desire to research, but when we got home, we immediately began our internet search for the East Texas Handbag Company.  The very little that we were able to learn about Miss Susie Lee and The East texas Handbag Co. came from the blog The Thrift Store Divas.  According to the divas, East Texas is prime peach country and bushel baskets were used to harvest the ripe fruit and take it to market.  Essentially, the retired peach-picking baskets were "upcycled" (to use a very trendy crafting term) and turned into fun and folky purses.  

Lovely examples of East Texas Handbags

The Label

(photos from Thrift Store Divas blogspot)

Another example of the handbags

This one is available for purchase at 

graceblackvintage.etsy.com

Apparently, the production of East Texas Handbags was halted in the 1970's and the rest is left to memory and the surviving handbags.  Without delay, I began to think how I could pick up where Susie Lee left off.  "You can easily find baskets," I said to myself.  "Remember the two yards of vintage burlap you have," I continued, " and believe it or not, you have a huge stash of handles, trims, flowers and lining fabrics."  I was about to launch into a detailed monologue about amazing ideas for all the many purses I was going to make when I stopped and said, "You really need to make some friends so you don't have to talk to yourself so much."

The Rose Garden Basket purse (handmade by Mr. Tiny)

A cheery lining of red and white gingham

Yeah, they're kind of corny and according to our research, their heyday was the 1960's, but I think think that they have a naive, folky quality about them that hearkens back to an even earlier era.  Couldn't you just see Jeanne Crain carrying one in State Fair?  

Dick Haymes, Jeanne Crain and Dana Andrews in State Fair, 1945

Jeanne's clothes in this movie are pretty much the inspiration for everything I make!!! 

Mary carries a Mr. Tiny "Bag-sket"

Because the basket purses are a novelty, thy truly lend themselves to all kinds of cornball themes.

Tiki

Cherry Blossoms

Daisies

Magnolias

I've never followed the cupcake trend, but this was a custom design for a cupcake-aholic.

South of the Border

Mother, may I?

Floral & Fancy

Hydrangeas

Scottie

I admit, these are far from high art.  They're probably even a little too lame to be considered folk art. At best, they reside comfortably in the world of wacky tacky!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny