Crazy Crafty: You Don't Know JACK-O-Lantern!

As I age, I fear that I am regressing emotionally.  Holidays about food and family and wholesome activities become of less consequence to me as I yearn for the zany indulgence of Autumn's favorite gimme-gimme holiday.  In stark contrast to the traditional holidays, Halloween requires no heavy meals, no gift exchanges, and no forced marches to awkward family gatherings.  It is one night to live with abandon - dressing up, misbehaving, and bingeing on loads of candy without the typical, withering, do-you-really-think-you-need-that glances from those holier-than-thou grocery store cashiers.

As I consider the importance of Halloween in my life, I am forced to truly ponder what Halloween means to me.  As a Halloween romantic, I discovered that all of my love for the day stems more from my belief of what Halloween ought to be rather than what Halloween actually is.  Captured so beautifully by the images in the Dennison's Bogie Books, Halloween should be one big, spooky, Cole Porter musical with Jack-O-Lantern footlights and costumes reminiscent of Erté!

Scepter, wand, cane, crook, staff - a recurring element in many Deco-era
Halloween costumes was one kind or another of stick.  Impressed by the
pumpkin scepter of Little Bo Creep (center), I decided to see if I could
DIM, do it myself.

I started with a seven-foot-long bamboo pole and a twelve-inch, orange paper
lantern, both found at my favorite craft supply emporium - the dollar store!
With a budget totaling two dollars plus tax, this was a provident beginning!

I had the materials, now I just needed a face.  I took to the internet and reference books but was having difficulty deciding on a pumpkin face that I loved well enough to commit to dollar-store lantern.  This was to be a huge decision; once the paint was on, there would be no turning back!  I had considered adapting one of those leering faces found on vintage, German, papier-maché candy containers, but after flipping through one of my favorite Halloween resources, Halloween in America, I knew I had found my face!

I couldn't get beyond the lovable Jack-O-Lantern face of
this Dennison's crepe-paper Halloween apron, dated 1918.
(Source)

I embraced ( and thanks to my unsteady hands, perhaps even magnified)
the loose quality of the inspiration art.  It would be pretentious of this
seriously-untrained "artist" to label my work as "mixed media" when all
I did was sketch on the face with a #2 pencil and fill it in with whatever
I could find around the house, including paint (undiluted yellow
watercolor from a tube of unknown origin and nearly-expired, crusty,
black acrylic from high school art class) and a black sharpie.

With better light and less chance of overspray, I do all of my spray painting in the front yard; given the kind of wacky tacky crafting I am wont to do (see: Pickles the Pink Piggy Purse), I spend quite a bit of time painting in the front yard.  If my neighbors had a questionable opinion of me before, they must have serious concerns over my mental capacity after watching me play a one-man game of ring-around-the-rosie, applying several coats of glossy, black spray paint to a seven-foot pole stuck in the ground.

 

Even I had to question my sanity when I went into the wacky tacky
costume archives and couldn't find the cape I wanted...because there
were too many homemade capes in the way!!!

I tried riding a broom but it wouldn't hold me...

I may perform a few minor tweaks/additions before All Hallow's Eve but for a two-dollar investment, I think I did pretty well!

Lit from within by battery-operated lights that I had on-hand, it has sort
of an eerie, reverse Jack-O-Lantern effect...but I still like it.

Of course, after my craft was completed, my next trip to the dollar store
was met with row after row of battery-operated, jack-o-lantern style,
paper lanterns.  Nevertheless, I am happy with the chance to get into
the Halloween spirit with some custom Crazy Crafty!!!  

Yes, Mr. Tiny's Halloween threads will be built in stylistic conjunction with his Jack-O-Lantern walking stick, but you'll just have to wait until the day draws nearer before the entire costume is revealed.  How about you?  Are you gearing up for the Halloween season?  Are you feeling crafty?  Do you have a great idea for your costume?  Whatever you decide to be this October 31, remember that it's Halloween...

LET'S MISBEHAVE!!!

"Let's Misbehave" as performed by Irving Aaronson

Written by Cole Porter

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Mama's Macaroni Magic

Call it stunted growth.  Call it arrested development.  There are certain rites of passage that, gone un-passed, result in an inhibited, regressive, emotionally-hobbled, curiously-craft-obsessed man-boy.

One day, while wandering around our favorite Italian market, Claro's, I was
overjoyed to spy this GIANT pasta (I had to include a standard-sized penne
noodle for comparison purposes) - that's-a big-a pasta!!!

I knew from the combination of the proprietoress' exhortations and the $1.76 price
tag that the universe was granting me the chance to recreate a sorely-missed opportunity.

Would you believe me if I told you that I had never dyed macaroni for Mother's Day jewelry making?  Never.  Not ever.  How does one rebound from bypassing such a fundamental step in childhood development?  I didn't know where to begin.  It was clear that recovery would be a process requiring professional help - not from a therapist, rather from my dear friend, a preschool teacher.  Her counsel left me confident that my crafting skills were on par with those of her four-year-old students.

Following instructions, I added the pasta, a few drops of food coloring,
and one-quarter cup hand sanitizer to sealable plastic bags.  I then
removed the pasta and allowed it dry on layers of paper toweling; the
alcohol in the sanitizer allows the color to dry lickety-split, meaning the
Mother's Day macaroni magic can commence within minutes!

All that was left to do was string the pasta with coordinating yarn and make my mom promise to wear her Mother's Day present all day, in public, sight unseen (insert sinister laughter here).  I, of course, was quick to remedy the simplicity of brightly-colored, oversized, tube pasta with what is quickly becoming my signature adornment, the yarn pom pom!

"Just what I've always wanted!!!"....
is what I imagined her saying as I placed the necklace around
her neck with all the reverence of a purple heart presentation.

Except for the fact that it is quite a bit of necklace on a petite frame (seriously,
how does a woman who measures under 5'5" have 5 such giant children?),
I think the scale and the bright hues of the pasta elevate it to something
bordering on the downright chic - or maybe just one of those saran-wrap-
and-candy leis handed out so freely to high school grads.

The best thing about my mom is that she keeps her promises!
She wore the necklace to church with Grandma and actually
got many compliments on it.  The only embarrassing moments
came when she had to explain that her grown son made it for her!

Even after all of that necklace, I still ended up with a few rogue pieces of pigmented pasta.  Hating to waste, I decided to incorporate them into the design of our Mother's Day table.

Recognize that napkin ring née noodle?
To further the traditional elementary-school, Mother's Day, crafty-
gifty theme, I created bowers and bowers of tissue-paper flowers.
I told myself, "take a picture, it'll last longer," but I'm pretty sure these
paper peonies will last a good long time as well!

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful Mom!  Among many other gifts, she has bestowed upon me the opportunity to right a wrong that has hounded me for a lifetime.  Making a dyed-macaroni necklace takes me one step closer to developmental equality with my peers and endows me with a greater appreciation for pre-kindergarten craftiness.  Thanks, Mom!

Here's hoping that your Mother's Day is blessed with a bit of Macaroni Magic!
(Source)

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Christmas Corsages

My maternal great-grandmother died before my fifth birthday.  My memory of her - and everything else for that matter - is more than a bit foggy.  To the best of my recollection she was a warm woman who loved her electric organ, loved her giant, desert tortoise, Lollipop, and loved treating the kids in my family to cheese puffs from a cardboard canister, syrupy "juice" drinks from waxy, little bottles, and Sunkist Fruit Gems - favorites to this day (leave it to me to remember little beyond the treats she gave us).

Great-Grandma
I'm disappointed in our imaginations; "Great-Grandma" is exactly what we called her.
At least you can see one source of my sturdy build and substantial upper arm.
(Also, how's this for my first-ever attempt at free, online faux-toshop? )

I think it is impossible to be truly "fancy" in San Bernardino, CA - especially in the days when the town was just a sun-burned, suburban stop long Route 66.  However, as a member in good standing of the Order of the Eastern Star, my great-grandma had plenty of opportunities to wear formals (of her own design and making, of course).  Based on her photographs from the middle part of the 20th Century, it seems that every Eastern Star occasion warranted a fancy formal and one simply could not wear a formal without a corsage - particularly at Christmas.

Even in her waning years, she still donned a full head
of hair, her own(ed) teeth, and a Christmas corsage.  Between the
specs and the corsage, I'm, digging the pink and gold color story!

A Christmas corsage is exactly what it sounds like; overtly festive and overly large, it is like a prom corsage that has been kissed by 1,000 spastic elves.  Traditional features include metallic leaves, miniature ornaments, flocked pine cones, bells, berries, holiday figurines, miles of looped ribbon, and sometimes, just sometimes, flowers.  If you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be your grandma's Christmas tree, just slap on a Christmas corsage and you're halfway there.

"Christmas Corsage: Ideal for table decorations,
boutonnieres, gift wrap trims"
(Source)

It is hard to say exactly why the Christmas corsage has fallen out of favor as the compulsory holiday accessory for women, except for the fact that on the whole they are cheap, gaudy, and usually quite massive.  Oddly enough, these are the exact qualities we seek when selecting our holiday apparel.

These examples of holiday corsages prove that while granny dear
was unique in many things - corsages were not one of them.
(Source 1, 2, 3, 4)

It is difficult to think of Christmas corsages as having an entirely-bad reputation; they have become so déclassé that they really have no reputation at all.  I don't think most folks would know a Christmas corsage from a tacky assemblage of fake florals and holiday trimmings...oh, right...  I suppose it is entirely possible that they are still a part of every festive woman's holiday ensemble in some areas of the world, but this year, I'm making it my mission to pin a little more wacky tacky onto the bosom of American womanhood.

The inspiration for my crazy crafting came from both the
photos of my great-grandmother and this lone, vintage
corsage that I had among all of my holiday hoardings.

Here is my recreation, using only materials that I had on hand.
Thanks to a few friends, I had the vintage bell ornament, miniature
toadstool, and Christmas tree.  I made the candy cane out of pipe
cleaner and the rest came from the flower section of my own personal
craft emporium.  I bound all of the wire and stems together with green,
velvet ribbon and dusted the whole thing with clear glitter.

Because I made all of the women in my life promise to wear a corsage this year, I decided that I had to make a few that were traditional and slightly more subdued in nature.

Somehow, they still turned out giant, glittery, and weird.

Figuring that any further attempt at making an understated Christmas corsage would be futile, I started deconstructing and reconstructing every bit and bob in my stash. 

This one started out as a few different tree
ornaments found at a local thrift store.

Elements of this corsage began life as a
holiday spray at the 99 Cents Only Store.

Like a wacky tacky take on the traditional primary colors,
I think aqua, red, gold, and silver might be my favorite
new holiday color combo. 

Cake toppers, tutti-frutti shoe clips, and a repurposed
flower bunch were the founding members of the
corsage I call, "California Christmas."

One never knows when miniature citrus fruit, roses, and
plastic, beach-party figurines will come in handy. 

Growing up in Southern California, I always made
like Bing and dreamt of a "White Christmas."

These days, I will happily take a California
Christmas every time; where else is it socially
acceptable to go for a tandem ride on a giant, vintage
ornament in the dead of winter wearing only a bathing
suit (a grossly-immodest bathing suit at that)?

How do you feel about Christmas corsages - or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa corsages for that matter?  Are you breaking out the glitter and the glue gun for some crazy holiday crafting this year?  Let us know what you're making.

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Beaver's Sweatshirt Monsters

I have many friends who don't watch TV.  Honestly, I never knew that was an option (both not watching television and befriending those who do not watch television).  I'll freely admit that I get more than a little annoyed when those friends wear their television-impoverishment like a badge of honor. "I don't waaaaatch TV," I hear them saying smugly - the obvious subtext being, "My pursuits are inherently superior to your own," or "Every moment you mindlessly spend in front of the television, I am writing the next great American novel, or feeding the poor, or solving the problems in the Middle East," or "Mr. Tiny, you are lazy, undisciplined, and fat perhaps just very-slightly overweight."  Or maybe I am just internalizing the guilt I feel for watching so much TV...including Leave It to Beaver.  Leave It to Beaver was such a corny, cornfed, cornball sit-com that it never occurs to me what a groundbreaking example it was of television's ability to address serious familial issues including inappropriate dress and teenage rebellion.

Did you ever have a rebellious faze?  Did you do everything you could to make your mother worry?  Did you exhibit serious attitude?  Did you smoke in the school bathroom?  Did you actually live out that the iconic sit-com moment where you took your real outfit in your backpack or hid your "unacceptable" clothing under a jacket so you wouldn't be stopped by your parents with, "You're not leaving the house wearing that," as you quietly tried to sneak out the front door?  I never thought I had a rebellious faze because aside from the occasional need for a minor attitude adjustment, I never exhibited any of those behaviors.  Recently, however, the looks I receive from my mom make me think that my whole life is a rebellion to her carefully-laid plans* - especially when she saw the product of my most recent "Crazy Crafty" endeavor.

Talk about inappropriate dress and teenage rebellion!!!!

Did you ever see the "Sweatshirt Monsters" episode of Leave It to Beaver?
In it, Beaver and his school pals all buy the cool monster sweatshirts that
they see in the shop window.  They make a pact to all wear their sweatshirts
to school but when the Beave is the only one to show up in his sweatshirt,
well, let's just say, hijinks ensue.

Serious hijinks!

Crawling in search of blood, to "terrorize y'all's neighborhood."

The "Sweatshirt Monsters" episode appeared on television just the other day and immediately I was inspired to see how well I could make my own monster sweatshirt.  Still unsure about what to pack for our trip to Japan, I decided that the incredible monster sweatshirts I was about to create would be the ideal garments for dealing with Japan's unpredictable, autumn weather patterns and for distracting an unsuspecting Japanese public from the horrors of my own monster face.  Didn't they suffer enough from Godzilla's attacks?

Works in progress
Because I have absolutely no experience in the art of monster portraiture,
I decided that my best bet was to imitate the monster faces from the show.
Using stills from the episode, I drew the faces freehand on tracing paper and
then I transferred them directly onto the sweatshirts with a ballpoint pen.

I am not often plagued by undue confidence, especially when it comes to painting/crafting, but for whatever reason, I felt like I would have no problem painting weird faces on polyester-blend sweatshirts.  Whatever misplaced confidence I had in my ability to execute the painting, I lacked in my ability to choose a suitable location to document my "art;" I settled on a local park because of its brilliant, life-size, cement sculpture of a jet fighter.

For this piece I took elements of a few of the sweatshirts
and combined them in one.  I am probably over-thinking
it, but I like the imagery created by a dagger stabbing
through the oozing, worm-infested brain of a devilish heart.

While some folks think that the Leave It to Beaver sweatshirts were products
of Ed "Big Daddy" Roth's Studios, I couldn't find any substantiation to that claim.
Nevertheless, they are  kool, kustom, 60's-inspired designs and now I have some
duds for the Halloween season and beyond!

For this piece, I tried to get as close to Beaver's sweatshirt monster as possible.

As an aspiring underwear model, I wish I could say that I managed to find this pose on purpose.
Instead, my not-so-graceful dismount/slide onto the wing of the jet contorted
my body into this position; I guess I am what you would call a "natural"...

Well, what do you think?
It was a conscious choice to leave off the squiggles and waves.
Feeling pretty good about the outcome, I didn't want to ruin the
whole thing by messing up on a few squiggly lines - ever a rebel!

For those who choose to abandon the glories of television, I say, "To each his own."  For me, TV has been a consistent source of inspiration and education for my entire life.  Then again, I don't really watch reality TV...

Leave It to Beaver - "Sweatshirt Monsters"
Original air date: June 2, 1962

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

*p.s.  Obviously, she needn't be worried.  If you noticed, I didn't make a single improper reference to beavers throughout the entire post.  She better be proud!