Tiki Time: Hong Kong Inn

I recently watched friends and acquaintances profess their undying love for tiki culture in the well-received documentary, "Plastic Paradise."  With a Polynesian bruddah-in-law, a hapa-haole nephew, and a mother who spent many of her formative years on the island of Oahu, I feel like there was no escaping my own predilection for Polynesian pop.

Incredible logo and art direction by Kevin Kidney
(Source)

As much as I enjoyed the program, I was a little disheartened at the documentary's discussion of the fundamental role Chinese food played in the tiki movement; it made me think of Hong Kong Inn, Ventura, CA's recently-shuttered outpost of 1960's-era Chinese food and Polynesian entertainment.  I was sad that I'd never had the chance to enjoy the hopistality of the Kwan brothers who opened Hong Kong Inn in 1964.  Seeing Hong Kong Inn's final Facebook post that read, "After 48 wonderful years, 100,000 Scorpions and Mai Tai's, 3,600 Polynesian revues, 10 children, and 15 grandchildren, the Hong Kong Inn of Ventura will be closing its doors on November 30, 2012.  We're retiring," I resigned myself to the fact that I would have to survive on the myth, the legend that was Hong Kong Inn.

Hong Kong Inn - Ventura, CA
Good wicky wacky tiki tacky always begins with a good sign!

Then one happy day, about two weeks ago, my uncle sent me a beautiful picture. 

"Grand Re-Opening: Under New Management"
Could it be true?!

Without dallying, I hopped straight onto the Google and searched for documented proof of Hong Kong Inn's rebirth.  I nervously dialed the phone number that I found online, half expecting a disconnected line or an interminable ringtone.  I was overjoyed at the sound of a sweet human voice who confirmed the restaurant's reopening and the perpetuation of Hong Kong Inn's finest traditions.  At the very first opportunity, all available members of the wacky tacky adventure team hit the road for old Hong Kong.

Emily was so happy when she learned that at Hong Kong Inn she wouldn't
have to make a choice; they have Chinese AND American food!!!

The rest of us were immediately impressed by the lanterns, the twelve-foot mural of
Hong Kong's Victoria Harbour, the highly-decorated bar, and the awesome placemat graphics!

I have never considered the position of celebrity-chef, Gordon Ramsay, a particularly enviable one; on top of the
daily root touch-ups and impossible highlight maintenance, there is the relegation of all that shameless, persona-propagating, coronary-inducing, red-faced bellowing to Friday nights on the Fox Network.  Never let it be said, however, that I am not a sucker for a good makeover.  I don't want to intimate that Hong Kong Inn is a prime candidate for Ramsay's "Kitchen Nightmares," but it wouldn't take much doing, in terms of decorating and recipe revision, to make it a "Kitchen dream come true."

Instead of dwelling on paltry, culinary quibbles, let's take a moment to observe Jesse
performing what I can only assume is a tiki mating ritual - the offering of the half-eaten rib.

Even if the food at Hong Kong Inn isn't the very best "Chinese & American Food" you've ever eaten, I'm told that the wealth of rum-infused tropical drinks more than makes up for any deficits.  Plus, the real purpose of our pilgrimage north of the Los Angeles/Ventura County line was Hong Kong Inn's finest offering, the "Polynesian Review!"* 

"Expressions of Polynesia," the exotic, island-style floor show as masterfully
presented by the talented performers from Kealoha & Company, is Hong Kong
Inn's greatest legacy.

Did someone say hips?!?!!

With more than twenty performers (dancers, singers, musicians), more than twenty musical numbers, and more than twenty costume changes, "Expressions of Polynesia" is more than enough fun for the entire family.  The two-hour spectacle is an interactive experience with opportunities to join the dance troupe on stage for some hip shaking and ball swinging - poi balls, that is.

Usually it's a bad night when a pair of poi balls makes intimate contact with another 

very significant pair but nothing could dampen the fun of participating in the show! 

My poor poi performance notwithstanding, the whole show was wonderful!
My very favorite performers were actually a dynamic mother-daughter duo.
Tina (mother) was the stage manager, musical director, comic relief, and
songstress for the evening; if you've never heard the bone-chilling beauty
of Polynesian harmonies, then do yourself a favor and find Tina ASAP.  Her
daughter was a premier dancer among the spectacular troupe; I was so taken by
her dancing, particularly the mind-blowing, Tahitian duck walk, that I completely
forgot to capture it on video.

We had such a great time at Hong Kong Inn; by the end of the evening, all typical restaurant protocol was broken as we chatted, mixed, mingled, and table-hopped.  Hong Kong Inn's Polynesian review had all the luxury of a lavish luau and all the honest charm of a homespun hukilau.

Mahalo, Mauru'uru, and Fa'afetai, and Xie Xie to Kealoha & Co. and Hong Kong Inn!!! 

If you have a taste for tiki, if you want for wacky tacky, if you long for old Hong Kong, be sure to make your way to Hong Kong Inn.  Go for the chow mein, stay for the ALOHA!!!

Hong Kong Inn
435 E Thompson Blvd
Ventura, CA
(805)648-3161

hongkonginnonline.com

*The Polynesian Review is only performed on Friday and Saturday nights from 7:30-9:30PM (early arrival is highly recommended)


Cheers and Talofa!

Mr. Tiny

Tiki Time: Exotical

As much nostalgia as I have for the places that have, after years of return visits, become part of our wacky tacky repertoire, there is something so exciting about discovering and putting a "new" landmark on our map!  In fact, my favorite part about writing this blog is getting suggestions of cool places to visit from wacky tacky aficionados.  I love getting a tip, gassing up the wacky wagon, and hitting the road to explore!  When our pal told us about Exotical in Downey, CA, we could hardly wait to go on a tiki adventure.

It was just at the very end of last year, thanks to some good friends, that we found a gem among the greater Los Angeles landscape, the city of Downey.  You might have read our blog posts about the City of Downey's Rose Parade float and our grub session at Bob's Big Boy Broiler, but we just knew that we hadn't exhausted all of the fun that Downey had to offer.  In fact, just down the road from Bob's is Downey's answer to crystal blue waters of the tropics - Exotical Hawaiian Apparel (est. 1964).

Family owned and operated since day one, Exotical offers a bounty of Hawaiian shirts, MuuMuus, cabana sets, hats, leis, and plenty more Polynesian goods and apparel for the kanes and wahines in your life.  Beautiful music whisks patrons away to islands as they peruse rack upon rack of flowered shirts.  

We thought she couldn't get any taller!

A selection of children's cabana sets

If the canned music isn't enough, there is a whole shelf of ukuleles, an inherited collection of the owner, that can be tested out.  He said that he didn't have the patience to learn the instrument himself, but he loved hearing others play.  It didn't take Mary but a few moments to tune one up and start to strum.

You can see that she test drove more than one model.

And then continued her musical tour of the islands on the drums

Unsatisfied by instruments alone, here she is trying her
hand at poi balls.  Out of fear, I took this photo from
a distance.

The neatest part about Exotical is that there is dead stock Hawaiian clothing mixed among the new offerings.  When the owner saw us picking out some of the vintage stuff, he offered to take us to the storage room out back to look through some additional racks of clothing; we didn't have to think twice.  Of course, on the short walk back there, visions of Shaheen danced in our heads.  Well, there was a Shaheen...

...but it was a 70's/80's style that just wasn't quite
what we were looking for

Back inside the store, there was still so much to see.  Our favorite part of the decor was the dressing rooms.  The women's dressing rooms were styled after the architecture of Polynesian longhouses and each booth was upholstered in an animal print!  Exotical is such a luau for the eyes, that I forgot to get any pictures of me; don't be too downhearted.

The men's dressing room was not as inspired, but had
cool wall paper and a neat tiki lamp.

Because we are the closest point to Hawaii on the mainland, there is so much of the island lifestyle present in Southern California; sometimes, I think we're just "Waikiki East."  

I'm aware of the childishness, but when I see all these leis, I can't help but
think of a million "lei" jokes/puns.  I'll just stick with the Wayne's World
classic, "Come on you wanna lei me"...

One of my favorite representations of the island is my nephew.  Born on Oahu to my sister and my islander bra-in-law, with a middle name like Pomaika'i O'Kalani, there is no doubting his heritage.  We didn't buy much at Exotical during our visit, but we couldn't resist picking up a little something for our favorite "hapa haole."  

The living embodiment of the Hula Boy doll above, no?

Is it wrong to be jealous of a two year old?  He is everything I will never be - perpetually tan, curly of hair, and just so dang cute!!!  It seemed weird walking up to the checkout with a pink set, but this kid is the only person in our family who could pull it off.  Honestly, he would look cute in a paper sack!  On second thought, maybe I should have saved my money and just put him in a paper sack.

The "little grass shack" check stand

So, if you wanna go back to your little grass shack, but you can't afford the fare to Kealakekua, be sure to stop into Exotical to get your island fix.

Call me indecisive, but I really found it hard to pick a version of "My Little Grass Shack."

So here is Arthur Godfrey, Teresa Brewer, and The Andrews Sisters all singing the same tune.

Exotical

8136 Firestone Blvd.

Downey, CA

(562)869-0575

www.goexotical.com

Cheers & Aloha!

Mr. Tiny

Kitsch-en Kounter: Pineapple Upside-Down Loaf

What is it that makes the tropics so alluring?  Elvis knew the secret.  Is it the gently swaying palms, the lilting melody of the ukulele, the lapping of crystalline waves of the purest blue, the swishing of grass skirts as wahines hula into your heart?  Yes.  But for Elvis and me, it is also the delicious tropical food.

"Aloha Oe" - Elvis Presley (1961)

It has been a while since my last "Kitsch-en Kounter" post because while I regularly pore over vintage issues of Collier's and McCall's looking for fun and strange recipes, it is really tough to find one that is not just funny but actually tasty.  I hate waste and it is important to me to find a recipe worth the investment of time and the cost of ingredients.  It has happened to me many times over - that moment when I am completely overcome with the brilliance of an entirely-original idea only to do a quick search online and discover that I had been bested by people much smarter  - or at least quicker on the draw.  Well, the idea for Teriyaki Pineapple Upside-Down Meatloaf has been brewing in the back of my mind for quite some time and I finally found the motivation to make it today.  I searched for any incarnation of a pineapple upside-down meatloaf and was pleased to find that none existed!!!  So here, in its world premiere, I introduce to the universe, TERIYAKI PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN MEATLOAF!

Truthfully, I am not one who really follows a recipe very closely.  I love to cook but half the fun is in the spontaneity.  So, in true wacky tacky fashion, here is a vague indication of the things you will need for a Teriyaki Pineapple Upside-Down Meatloaf.  If you're the type that needs a detailed recipe, I encourage you to let it go and just get wacky!

1  17oz. Bottle Prepared Teriyaki Glaze
1  Can Pineapple rings
Maraschino Cherries
Your Best Meatloaf Recipe

In a greased pan place as many pineapple rings as will fit comfortably (I used an angel food cake pan which to fill even halfway takes an unholy amount of meatloaf mixture and the results will leave you eating meatloaf for the next week).  In the center of each ring place a maraschino cherry.  Using about one third of the teriyaki sauce, cover the pineapple rings/cherries (this will create a glaze).  I used the rest of the teriyaki sauce inside the meatloaf mixture (usually, I would make my own out of soy sauce, garlic, honey, ginger, etc. but in the interest of keeping it simple, I used prepared).  Fill the pan with the your favorite meatloaf (we grew up on ground turkey) and bake until cooked through.  Remove from the oven and allow the loaf to rest.  Turn it out onto a serving platter and garnish as desired.

Like a true Hawaiian plate lunch, I think it is best to serve your Pineapple Upside-Down Loaf with steamed rice and macaroni salad.

As delicious as a Pineapple Upside-Down Loaf may be, it is only as good as the table on which it is served.  So, I decided to bring a few tropical delights out of storage and set the mood by setting the table.

A vintage, tropical-print, tablecloth.
This was the first cloth in what has developed into a greater collection.
(stay tuned for a future post on that)
As you can see, I did a rather perfunctory
 job at pressing out the creases.  I refuse to over think it because
 once the whole table is set, the wrinkles are barely noticeable.

I placed some leaves down and topped them with bamboo placemats,
highlighted by yellow, cotton placemats (folded in half lengthwise),
bamboo-handled flatware, and plain white porcelain dinnerware.

The finished placesetting.
Who's ready for some PUDL?!

Mary said it looked a little naked without rice in the middle.

I think that was actually a pretty good call.

So there it is.  An island of meatloaf amidst a sea of fluffy, white rice. 

PUDL is just one more thing that is NOT included on Mr. Tiny's current diet, but if the sounds of joy coming from the diners in the next room are any indication, PUDL is a hit!  If you decide to make your own PUDL for Sunday dinner or your upcoming Valentine's Day festivities, please let me know how it turns out.  Good luck and good eating!


Cheers & Aloha!

Mr. Tiny

Collecting: Exotic Woman

Have you ever seen "The History Detectives" on PBS?  Essentially, it is a bunch of historians/appraisers who start with an undocumented artifact and scour the country looking for clues that will help to prove its provenance.  The formula, as well as the personalities of the appraisers, can wear a bit thin at times, but all in all it is a worthwhile program.  I feel a bit like the "detectives" when I come upon some gem in a thrift store that leaves me yearning to know its history.  As I have mentioned before in a post entitled "June Weddings & Rape Whistles," my resistance to the siren song of strangers' discarded photos is futile.  I can't help but wonder who the people are in the photos and why they have been abandoned.  There is something so sweet about those faces peering out in black and white saying, "My real family didn't love me enough to keep me.  Will you be my new papa?"  A good detective would do his best to extract the history from the clues in the photograph; sometimes there will even be helpful notations on the back with some names, a date, and a location.  But I am no Sherlock Holmes and as there are usually precious few clues, I am satisfied to take the photos home and just imagine a backstory.  I dare say, my imagined history is probably far more dramatic than what actually occurred in many of the photographs, but I'm not so sure about this one; I think her history is beyond my wildest dreams!

Mistress Magnolia Blossom the Exotic Woman

Not so long ago, we were out doing our usual rounds of hunting and gathering.  I was sifting through a stack of miscellaneous papers/sheet music/ephemera and came across Mistress Magnolia Blossom.  She was loose among the other papers and fell to the ground before my brother picked her up and handed her to me.  I was immediately drawn to her based on the time period, the setting, and the scale (8x10").  Who was this exotic woman?  Was she an artist, a wanton woman, a housewife who used the family camera to take a special photo for her husband?  Was her husband the amateur shutter bug; how hard did he have to try and convince her to take some "artistic photos?"  Whoever she is, she is wacky tacky gold and there are several things I truly adore about this picture.  

First, I love the magnolia blossoms; they appear as if in 3D and seem to jump right off the page.  Second, I love the "make do" attitude of the photo - this one definitely appears to be a homemade portrait.  "We don't have a studio, but we can use the dining room floor." (see it peeking out in the upper-left corner?)  "We don't have tropical orchids and birds of paradise, but we have that magnolia tree out back."  "Remember, we've got a couple yards of that Tapa cloth I brought home from the South Pacific, that'll do."  Mostly, I love Mistress Magnolia Blossom, herself.  Classic beauty?  Not really.  Trained model?  Hardly.  But there is something lovely about the way she grasps the magnolia leaf and the way her hair haphazardly cascades behind her resting head.  At first glance, she seems rather melancholy but I think that is actually her interpretation of the languid, seductive stare of an exotic, island woman as she gazes into the enchanted sea.

"The Enchanted Sea" - Martin Denny

A fitting song for Mistress Magnolia Blossom

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Moses Supposes His Toeses are Anthuriums: "Enchanted Paradise" The Downey Rose Float

One of only five parade floats left in the annual Pasadena Tournament of Roses Parade that is still self-built (not designed/built/created by a professional float company), the City of Downey's entry into this year's Rose Parade was entitled "Enchanted Paradise."  We were fortunate enough to be invited to the top secret location in Downey, CA to see the float as a veritable army of local volunteers glued, seeded, and flowered the float in preparation for its January 2 debut.  As you know, tiki culture is a big slice of the wacky tacky pie, so we couldn't wait to see what the citizens of Downey had designed; "pure tropical splendor" is the only way to describe this offering to the tiki gods.

An artist's rendering of the float
(Source)

Every float begins as a scale model.
Along the sides of the float-staging area are models of previous float designs.

Design and fabrication of the float began in February of last year. 

The City of Downey Rose Float should really be called
The People of Downey Rose Float as no public funds are
allocated for the entry.  Every bloomin' bloom is placed by
the hands of volunteers and all monies are funded by
private donations and fundraisers.

Mary & Merle
Merle has been deeply involved in the city's parade entry for
 the last 12 years and has been the official float driver for the last eight.
The Downey float has the furthest to travel just to get to the parade route.
At no more than five miles per hour, the trek to Pasadena takes about six hours. 

Our tour guide explaining the process of applying
pulverized peas and orchids to metal frames.

Dried, crushed peas are adhered directly to the metal frames.
Orchids are hand-glued to clear, drinking straws and then
 slipped onto the arms of these "palm fronds."

A hall full of Downey residents preparing for the big day.

This picture shows the volcano portion of the float.
Its hydraulic hinges allowed the volcano to be lowered
for clearance under freeway overpasses.

Giant orchids

It was all starting to feel a bit like
Alice in Wonderland.

The smoking tiki god waiting to be dressed in bark and seeds.

Another tiki god in a state of semi-dress.
This figure was animated and played the drum during the parade.

Detail of the thatched-roof structure that shaded some of the riders.

This was but a small fraction of the bowers of flowers that were waiting
to find homes  on Enchanted Paradise.

Just a few specimens of flora waiting to be applied to the float.

I don't know about other Southern California residents, but at our house, we always watch the KTLA coverage of the parade.  There is nothing like the passive-aggressive banter of longtime commentators, Bob Eubanks and Stephanie Edwards.  My favorite quote of the parade was when Bob said to Stephanie "There is no end to your limitations."  But I was actually a bit disappointed in KTLA's coverage.  I was so emotionally invested in the Downey Rose Float and I thought they skimmed over it a little too quickly.  Viewers didn't even get a glimpse of the working water slide!  Here are a few screen grabs of the float.

We were happy that the Downey Rose Float did win The Founders' Award for the Most Beautiful Float designed and decorated by local volunteers.  Was it a little bit wicked of us to gloat in the fact that the biggest, longest, heaviest, and probably most expensive float in the parade featuring surfing dogs went over like a lead balloon in front of the KTLA cameras - wacky tacky roots for floats that are a little less corporate and little more homespun!

Our pre-parade tour guide, Charles Phoenix, Ambassador of Americana, aboard the Downey Rose Float.
(Photo by San Buena Ventura - Conservancy via Charles Phoenix Facebook page)

My official,  Downey Rose Float Association commemorative pin

I have never spent much time in the City of Downey.  I knew that it was home to the oldest standing McDonald's.  I knew that The Carpenters got their start there.  I knew that Porto's Bakery had recently opened a new location there.  What I didn't know was how proud I would be of the people of Downey and their float after our brief interlude.  wacky tacky is predicated on the principle of community and a "do-it-yourself" work ethic.  As Bob Eubanks said, "Downey always comes through, don't they."  They sure do, Bob; they sure do.


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny