wacky tacky Tunes: Koi Suru Fortune Cookie

We're baaaack!!!  We had an incredible time in Japan traveling to four cities, visiting friends and family, and riding trains, planes, automobiles, subways, boats, roller coasters, and easily one-and-a-half million feet of escalators and moving walkways.  I have so much to report but I must start the telling of our adventures with a confession.

I will confess that, by the end of our recent trip to Japan, I half expected to become some sort of national celebrity.  After all, what could Japan love more than a dashing, bespectacled American with all the charm of Mr. Grant, all the talent of Mr. Astaire, all the heft of Mr. Arbuckle, all the timeless, good looks of Mr. Mortimer Snerd, and a collection of homemade, monster sweatshirts?  I was ready to be a star!

Talk about delusional...

Sadly, I don't think the people of Japan are looking for American culture in its Tiny-est purest form; instead they are looking for American culture refracted through a finely-crafted Japanese lens.  I am no expert on Japanese pop music, or "J-Pop" as the kids like to call it, but I was slightly surprised by the latest craze sweeping the island nation, namely "Koi Suru Fortune Cookie" by the Tokyo-based, fan-driven, 88-member (and counting), girl group, AKB48.

A small selection of AKB48's membership.

A generic disco track with candy coated lyrics and English phrases like "Come on, come on, come on, come on, baby," the "Fortune Cookie" song is indicative of most J-Pop: non-ironic, choreographed anthems with the kind of vocal stylings America hasn't heard since Christmas with The Chipmunks.

"Koi Suru Fortune Cookie" - AKB48

It was obvious from this great display of extreme talent that I just could not hope to compete.

I'm not kidding; they are so huge that they have their own restaurant... 

If we couldn't be pop stars or have our own prime-time, Japanese television program or an eponymous "cafe & shop," I thought that, at the very least, our likenesses would be featured very much like those of the dancing travelers in the above video (see 1:59).  I may not have the build of a dancer but dang it, I can mooove!!!

Despite the characterizations depicted thus, the people of Japan are beyond reticent to commence dancing and frolicking in the street.  In fact, my every attempt to just that was met with looks less quizzical than completely disdainful.  The notable exceptions being our Japanese sister, Nami, and her new husband, Masa, who used both the AKB48 song and its accompanying dance routine in their wedding video.  In fact, Nami not only did nothing to dismiss, she even encouraged our impromptu dance recital in the grocery store of the Aeon Mall.

"The Syncopated Clock" - Leroy Anderson

For the first half of the day, this song plays over and over and over again;

grocery shopping is FUN in Japan!

Wanting to impress family, friends, and the Japanese public, Mary not only practiced her grocery store moves; she attempted the AKB48 choreography as well.

Mary, Nami, and Masa perform the "Fortune Cookie" dance.

After hearing "Koi Suru Fortune Cookie" in the wedding video, the streets of Nagoya, a karaoke club, hotel lobbies, Tokyo food courts, and in my head on a never-ending, two-week loop, I have come to appreciate the song...it is pretty catchy.  I guess I kind of miss Japan already.

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

p.s. Please stay tuned for the rest of our Japan trip and some Halloween fun as well!!!

Crazy Crafty: Beaver's Sweatshirt Monsters

I have many friends who don't watch TV.  Honestly, I never knew that was an option (both not watching television and befriending those who do not watch television).  I'll freely admit that I get more than a little annoyed when those friends wear their television-impoverishment like a badge of honor. "I don't waaaaatch TV," I hear them saying smugly - the obvious subtext being, "My pursuits are inherently superior to your own," or "Every moment you mindlessly spend in front of the television, I am writing the next great American novel, or feeding the poor, or solving the problems in the Middle East," or "Mr. Tiny, you are lazy, undisciplined, and fat perhaps just very-slightly overweight."  Or maybe I am just internalizing the guilt I feel for watching so much TV...including Leave It to Beaver.  Leave It to Beaver was such a corny, cornfed, cornball sit-com that it never occurs to me what a groundbreaking example it was of television's ability to address serious familial issues including inappropriate dress and teenage rebellion.

Did you ever have a rebellious faze?  Did you do everything you could to make your mother worry?  Did you exhibit serious attitude?  Did you smoke in the school bathroom?  Did you actually live out that the iconic sit-com moment where you took your real outfit in your backpack or hid your "unacceptable" clothing under a jacket so you wouldn't be stopped by your parents with, "You're not leaving the house wearing that," as you quietly tried to sneak out the front door?  I never thought I had a rebellious faze because aside from the occasional need for a minor attitude adjustment, I never exhibited any of those behaviors.  Recently, however, the looks I receive from my mom make me think that my whole life is a rebellion to her carefully-laid plans* - especially when she saw the product of my most recent "Crazy Crafty" endeavor.

Talk about inappropriate dress and teenage rebellion!!!!

Did you ever see the "Sweatshirt Monsters" episode of Leave It to Beaver?
In it, Beaver and his school pals all buy the cool monster sweatshirts that
they see in the shop window.  They make a pact to all wear their sweatshirts
to school but when the Beave is the only one to show up in his sweatshirt,
well, let's just say, hijinks ensue.

Serious hijinks!

Crawling in search of blood, to "terrorize y'all's neighborhood."

The "Sweatshirt Monsters" episode appeared on television just the other day and immediately I was inspired to see how well I could make my own monster sweatshirt.  Still unsure about what to pack for our trip to Japan, I decided that the incredible monster sweatshirts I was about to create would be the ideal garments for dealing with Japan's unpredictable, autumn weather patterns and for distracting an unsuspecting Japanese public from the horrors of my own monster face.  Didn't they suffer enough from Godzilla's attacks?

Works in progress
Because I have absolutely no experience in the art of monster portraiture,
I decided that my best bet was to imitate the monster faces from the show.
Using stills from the episode, I drew the faces freehand on tracing paper and
then I transferred them directly onto the sweatshirts with a ballpoint pen.

I am not often plagued by undue confidence, especially when it comes to painting/crafting, but for whatever reason, I felt like I would have no problem painting weird faces on polyester-blend sweatshirts.  Whatever misplaced confidence I had in my ability to execute the painting, I lacked in my ability to choose a suitable location to document my "art;" I settled on a local park because of its brilliant, life-size, cement sculpture of a jet fighter.

For this piece I took elements of a few of the sweatshirts
and combined them in one.  I am probably over-thinking
it, but I like the imagery created by a dagger stabbing
through the oozing, worm-infested brain of a devilish heart.

While some folks think that the Leave It to Beaver sweatshirts were products
of Ed "Big Daddy" Roth's Studios, I couldn't find any substantiation to that claim.
Nevertheless, they are  kool, kustom, 60's-inspired designs and now I have some
duds for the Halloween season and beyond!

For this piece, I tried to get as close to Beaver's sweatshirt monster as possible.

As an aspiring underwear model, I wish I could say that I managed to find this pose on purpose.
Instead, my not-so-graceful dismount/slide onto the wing of the jet contorted
my body into this position; I guess I am what you would call a "natural"...

Well, what do you think?
It was a conscious choice to leave off the squiggles and waves.
Feeling pretty good about the outcome, I didn't want to ruin the
whole thing by messing up on a few squiggly lines - ever a rebel!

For those who choose to abandon the glories of television, I say, "To each his own."  For me, TV has been a consistent source of inspiration and education for my entire life.  Then again, I don't really watch reality TV...

Leave It to Beaver - "Sweatshirt Monsters"
Original air date: June 2, 1962

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

*p.s.  Obviously, she needn't be worried.  If you noticed, I didn't make a single improper reference to beavers throughout the entire post.  She better be proud!