Crazy Crafty: I Si-Si A Souvenir Tote Bag in Your Future

There was a time (a time in which we still might be living) when every American woman visiting Mexico came back with a souvenir photograph of a zebra-painted burro, a tourist jacket, and a straw tote covered in yarn embroidery and palm-leaf appliqué.  Heck, Mary had at least seven of the straw bags in a variety of colors and sizes before she ever even set foot in Mexico.  It isn't that these souvenirs are terribly rare or terribly exotic, quite the opposite; they are rather inexpensive, readily available, and a definite rite of passage - passage across the Mexico-US border in which forgetful tourists begin panic-buying souvenirs for all the folks at home.

Tijuana - 1955
My grandmother (center) with my father beside her.
My uncle is riding the burro.

In sifting through the wacky tacky archives, I found the above photo and one such straw tote bag, purchased at a thrift store.  The body and the handles/hardware were in decent shape but the decorations had certainly experienced much sunnier holidays south of the border.

Looking very much like it had witnessed more than its fair share
of fiestas, this was the sorry state in which we found the bag.

In an effort to make way between the piles of newspapers and stacks of empty tuna fish cans for guests to maneuver through the hoarder's paradise that is wacky tacky headquarters, we are midway through an unprecedented clean-out.  But the options to rid ourselves of this pitiful piece were quite limited - it was either fodder for the local landfill or a one-way ticket back to the thrift store (this would not have been the first time we paid for something at a thrift store only to donate it back again).  The options to overhaul it, however, were limitless!  It was time to break the buying/donating cycle and turn modern medical practice on its ear by taking this literal sad sack north of the border for a fun facelift.

I started by removing the shredded floral clusters and
giving the frayed yarn a well-deserved haircut.

Just happening to have yarn in shades of "close-enough" green and orange,
I grabbed a big needle and began to touch-up the embroidered leaves.

Mid-makeover, I liked the way that the my not-quite-a-color-
match yarn added some variegation and depth to the leaves.

Once the bag and the leaves were stabilized, it was time to complete the makeover; after all, there are serious responsibilities one must consider after deflowering a virgin tote bag.  I suppose I could have tried to resurrect the palm-leaf flowers but they were so trashed, so lifeless, and so...brown; and it just wouldn't be a true "Crazy Crafty" project unless a strong dose of color was injected.

Continuing in my preferred medium of craft store yarn, I made
pom pom flowers in the other two colors I had in the stash.

A minimally invasive facelift with maximum results.

After all the effort of the sad sack makeover, I decided
that a fabric lining would be the perfect finishing touch.

With the tote bag complete, the thought occurred to me that anyone foolish enough to carry a full lamb's-worth of yarn around on a second-hand purse during the summer months might also need some protection from the sun (if not the curious stares of passers-by).

Using the purse as a guide, I embroidered a Put A Lid On It
Sun Hat with the same leaf-and-pom pom-flower motif.

Just like the newly-refurbished tote bag, the hat is also topped by a pom pom. 

As I've mentioned time and again, a matchy-matchy ethos is the backbone of wacky tacky design.  So while the hat may not share a similar provenance to the tote the way a sombrero would, we think that this matching set is perfect for a Puerto Vallarta pool party or a caprice in Cabo San Lucas.

"Pardon me, do you know the way to San Jose?"

With all this talk of south-of-the-border souvenirs, we are in the mood to take a "Tijuana Taxi" for another round of swinging souvenir shopping!!!  So much for our big clean-up and clear-out...

"Tijuana Taxi" - Heb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass (Scopitone)

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Mama's Macaroni Magic

Call it stunted growth.  Call it arrested development.  There are certain rites of passage that, gone un-passed, result in an inhibited, regressive, emotionally-hobbled, curiously-craft-obsessed man-boy.

One day, while wandering around our favorite Italian market, Claro's, I was
overjoyed to spy this GIANT pasta (I had to include a standard-sized penne
noodle for comparison purposes) - that's-a big-a pasta!!!

I knew from the combination of the proprietoress' exhortations and the $1.76 price
tag that the universe was granting me the chance to recreate a sorely-missed opportunity.

Would you believe me if I told you that I had never dyed macaroni for Mother's Day jewelry making?  Never.  Not ever.  How does one rebound from bypassing such a fundamental step in childhood development?  I didn't know where to begin.  It was clear that recovery would be a process requiring professional help - not from a therapist, rather from my dear friend, a preschool teacher.  Her counsel left me confident that my crafting skills were on par with those of her four-year-old students.

Following instructions, I added the pasta, a few drops of food coloring,
and one-quarter cup hand sanitizer to sealable plastic bags.  I then
removed the pasta and allowed it dry on layers of paper toweling; the
alcohol in the sanitizer allows the color to dry lickety-split, meaning the
Mother's Day macaroni magic can commence within minutes!

All that was left to do was string the pasta with coordinating yarn and make my mom promise to wear her Mother's Day present all day, in public, sight unseen (insert sinister laughter here).  I, of course, was quick to remedy the simplicity of brightly-colored, oversized, tube pasta with what is quickly becoming my signature adornment, the yarn pom pom!

"Just what I've always wanted!!!"....
is what I imagined her saying as I placed the necklace around
her neck with all the reverence of a purple heart presentation.

Except for the fact that it is quite a bit of necklace on a petite frame (seriously,
how does a woman who measures under 5'5" have 5 such giant children?),
I think the scale and the bright hues of the pasta elevate it to something
bordering on the downright chic - or maybe just one of those saran-wrap-
and-candy leis handed out so freely to high school grads.

The best thing about my mom is that she keeps her promises!
She wore the necklace to church with Grandma and actually
got many compliments on it.  The only embarrassing moments
came when she had to explain that her grown son made it for her!

Even after all of that necklace, I still ended up with a few rogue pieces of pigmented pasta.  Hating to waste, I decided to incorporate them into the design of our Mother's Day table.

Recognize that napkin ring née noodle?
To further the traditional elementary-school, Mother's Day, crafty-
gifty theme, I created bowers and bowers of tissue-paper flowers.
I told myself, "take a picture, it'll last longer," but I'm pretty sure these
paper peonies will last a good long time as well!

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful Mom!  Among many other gifts, she has bestowed upon me the opportunity to right a wrong that has hounded me for a lifetime.  Making a dyed-macaroni necklace takes me one step closer to developmental equality with my peers and endows me with a greater appreciation for pre-kindergarten craftiness.  Thanks, Mom!

Here's hoping that your Mother's Day is blessed with a bit of Macaroni Magic!
(Source)

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: Return of The Mad Hatter

I have earned the dubious reputation amongst the wacky tacky inner circle for having "visions."  I'll concede that where others might see the ephemeral essence of a dollar-store decoration, I see a vision of a Halloween heirloom.  Where others see the only the utilitarian use of the lid to a candy jar, I see visions of magnolia magic.  Where others see the limitations of an ordinary, household placemat, I see visions of the Land of Oz.  Far be it from me to refer to myself as a visionary, but when it comes to DIY hat crafting, the vision is clear - ignorance to proper millinery procedure is bliss!

The Bat Hat (reworked from a few 99¢ Only Store decorations).
The Sweet Magnolia Blossom (built on the lid of a candy container).
The World's Biggest Munchkin (a manipulated, clearance-aisle placemat). 

For once in my hat-making/trimming career (a resumé line item yet to be fully exploited), I decided to go a completely conventional route by starting with an actual and properly-constructed hat base.  This time, where others would see a souvenir sunhat from Chinatown, I too would see a souvenir sunhat from Chinatown.  I mean...it's a hat.  But in this simple souvenir sunhat, I would also envision a blank canvas just dying for a bit of wacky tacky adornment.  It was time to fire up every man's favorite power tool - the old hot glue gun!

One of the most life-affirming moments one can ever experience comes when all of the supplies required to accomplish a project are already on hand.  One time (more than a decade ago) a friend tried unsuccessfully to teach me elementary crochet, so naturally, I still had a million colors of yarn poised at the ready; the green coordinated well with the fabric I was using to make Mary a playsuit.  Knowing that a giant pom pom was unquestionably the icing on this conical cake, I set about to bind the edge of the hat and make a scarf tie with floral appliqués from the fashion fabric.

When one pom pom won't suffice, opt for pom pom trim (some prefer to call it ball fringe but I am not among them).
Using a range of hues from the rich ric rac inheritance bequeathed by my great-grandmother, I applied a combination of my two favorite embellishments.

I guess that there's no escaping the pom pom.  To achieve the pom pom topper on this hat, I cut thin strips of an African-print fabric (China, Africa, America??? How's that for a multicultural headwear?).  I gathered rows of the
same fabric to make the ruffled stripes and the kerchief tie.

I was surprised to derive nearly as much satisfaction from decorating conventional hats as I do from making them from found objects and repurposed materials.  Yes, this turn at conventional hat decorating was definitely rewarding but I still needed to explore my more unconventional roots.

When I came upon this beauty at the thrift store, I was quick to grab it,
 thinking I was the luckiest mock-milliner in the world to find a hat
worthy of Gidget's sun-allergic best friend, LaRue.  It wasn't until
I saw the plastic liner that I realized it was a woven plant pot.

Adhering to the three-poms-are-better-than-one rule, I choose to believe that this is what the
designers at Hot Dog on a Stick were going for before they settled on their best design effort.

Have you tried your hand at hat making or hat trimming?  Have you found the joy available to you in home pom-pom making?  I have at least one hundred more ideas but I need to wait for Chinatown to replenish their hat supply.  I guess I'll use that time to put the finishing touches on all the matching outfits.  Stay tuned!


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny