Crazy Crafty: A Sock Monkey's "Tail"

Hand-me-downs work in mysterious ways.

Despite his protestations to the contrary, my older brother is kind of a hip artist; professionally, he works as a graphic artist and screen printer but his passions are illustration, lowbrow culture, and motorcycles.  Being well-connected in the action sportswear industry and motorcycle/chopper scene means that he often gets insider hook-ups.  Fortunately for me, the trickle-down effect applies even when it comes to such pedestrian things as socks!  Recently, I procured from him a few pairs of brand-spanking-new Stance Socks.  In all honesty, I was a little concerned by the obsession my bearded brother and his tough-looking biker friends have with the preciously-patterned, often intentionally-mismated socks (designed and worn by the likes of Rihanna).  One wear of the socks, however, was enough to change my derisive tune.  Without sounding like a paid testimonial, all I will say is that the cushioned sole, the downy-soft yarns, and the comforting compression of the elastic fibers, are total game-changers.  If socks were hugs, then Stance would be my large-bosomed grandma.  This is why, with only three sets to my name, I was reticent to destroy even one pair of these footwear phenoms.  But given the color story and pattern of this particular pair, I was left with no choice but to turn to one of the Depression-era's most popular crafts.

It's nearly impossible to believe that the designers at Stance intended these to be anything but a sock monkey!

In the 1930s, the "Rockford Red Heel," a sock manufactured by the Nelson Knitting Company, became the standard for creating the iconic sock monkey.  With their heathery field punctuated by  "Rockford Red" heels and toes, these socks were practicaly foreordained to become my nephew's refashioned Christmas present.

Every year I make my nephew some kind of stuffed animal as part of Christmas/Birthday/Easter present.  With the socks burning a hole in my creative pocket and the years waning in which he will still be able to appreciate "Pirelephant", Pinkeroni the pink easter bunny, or Egghead the clown, this year was my last chance to be the (sock) monkey's uncle!

"Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!"
It's a bit creepy but aren't all sock monkeys?

I considered making an après-ski ensemble but with the striped toe of the sock automatically becoming
the sock monkey's permanent knitted cap; the only thing I needed to add was a red pompom on top.

I wish I could say that it was a conscious design choice, but the fact is that I didn't consider a tail when portioning out the precious knitted real estate of these hand-me-down, high-style socks.  Icould tell you that "I'm mad about about [this] chimpanzee" but...

One look at his bright-red hind quarters reveals that he is much more likely a sock baboon (and even
they have tails).  Please excuse me while I go fashion a tail out of sock scraps before Christmas Eve!

Sometimes I think just pretend to make these things for my nephew when I really kind of make them for myself.  Lucky for him, I do hand over custody but I have been granted frequent visitation.  I'm pleased that he continues to enjoy his growing menagerie of stuffed animals because I definitely get a kick out of making them.  Truth be told, if he didn't like them, I probably would continue to make them and keep them for myself.

I hope a new simian styling and a ride in a vintage Hy-Speed wagon do not undermine the street cred
of these super-hip superstar socks.  In fact, I hope that Stance hires me for their new craft division (with
Martha Stewart as the face of the brand, probably).

I even left the branding intact just so that Stance knew I was
serious about collaborating with Rihanna on her next line of socks.

I don't know that it strikes the same cool chord as an internationally-known pop star (or even a group of miscreant bikers), but I think I have a slogan for Stance's as yet untapped market; "Stance: the heart & sole of crafting!"

"The Monkey's Uncle" - Annette Funicello & The Beach Boys

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: My Blue Bunny Baby

If I'm not mistaken, Easter is the time for envy, the time for recognizing that the plastic Easter grass is indeed much greener on the other side of the fence - or in this case, the continent.  At least that is how I feel every time I catch a glimpse of the vintage Easter Bunny collection found in the Jersey shore home shared by Jenny & Aaron from Everyday is a Holiday (see here).  One bunny in particular has always caught my eye because I have never seen one in the wilds of Southern California's vast vintage landscape.  In fact, I very rarely see any kind of vintage Easter paraphernalia here, which makes me incredibly suspicious of the heathens by whom I am surrounded.  Setting aside the religious context of the Easter holiday, I think the world is in dire need of more chicks, chocolate eggs, and plush bunnies in that seasonally-specific pastel palette.  The bunny of Jenny's & Aaron's in which I find immeasurable inspiration is one of those crazy, stuffed bunnies with the face of a baby.

It may look even odder than it sounds.
Nevertheless, I want one!
(photo courtesy of Everyday is a Holiday)

The truth is that I covet the entirety of their bunny collection but there is something so equally sweet and disturbing about a baby-faced Easter Bunny that makes it a wacky tacky standout.  I mean, is this thing meant to be a spooky escapee from Dr. Moreau's infamous island or just an angel-faced kid in a costume?  Either way, I loved this human-hare hybrid and wanted one for my very own.  Because I have voluntarily removed myself from the regular activity of vintage "hunting and gathering," however, the acquisition of one such bunny would be relegated to either the unlikelihood of a gift (it's absolutely ages until my next birthday) or to making one myself.  Having gone the angel-faced-kid-in-a-costume route last year, this year it was time to celebrate the Easter season by making a genuine, homemade, blue bunny baby.

It all started with the face.
In cleaning out their 94-year-old garage, my brother and sister-in-law were
unnerved by the feeling that they were being watched.  I think they were
slightly relieved upon finding a cache of vintage, plastic doll faces that they
subsequently exorcised and then gifted to me.  Slightly flummoxed with how
to handle them, I was glad to finally have a project in which I could put at least
one of these little cherubs to good use (stay tuned, I'm sure they'll make a recurring
appearance in future Crazy Crafty projects - creepy clown kiddo, anyone?).

Even though the scant yard of vintage, blue cotton velvet that was too little to make into anything else wasn't quite within the range of traditional Easter hues, I slated it for my own velveteen-type rabbit.  In order to complete my bunny, the only thing I needed to buy was a small amount of blue satin to line the ears.  Have you ever tried to join satin and velvet in the shape of a rabbit ear?  It stinks.  Extremely fiddly in their own distinct way, each material left me ready to pull my hare hair out.  In the end, I was hoppy with the ears' imperfections.

Blue enough for you?
Did you see how sweet and delicate the vintage example of the bunny baby was?
Mine, on the other hand, is as sweet and delicate as a big, electric-blue punch in
the throat.  Even when I am trying to make something simple and lovely, my
wacky tacky instincts beat subtlety into utter submission!

Luckily, I had just enough aqua yarn to eke out a fluffy tail and the crudely-
executed crochet trim around the bunny baby's face (a necessity to disguise
the edges).  The ears are supported by an internal framework of heavy-gauge
floral wire.  In a show of my own surrender to the color story, I selected the blue
background and garden of blue, tissue-paper flowers.  The blue eggs are there
just to prove that, just like brown chickens and brown eggs, blue Easter eggs
come from blue Easter Bunnies. 

While I refuse to turn into one of those people who refers to his collection of inanimate objects as "children," I get such a surge of pride every time I look at the latest addition to the wacky tacky family that I feel like handing out cigars.  If you don't have a bunny baby of your own (or the inclination to make one), consider a lovingly-rendered version of Jenny's & Aaron's bunny baby in the form of a Jumbo, Wood-Mounted "Baby Bunny" Print from the Everyday is a Holiday online store to add some Easter awesomeness to your holiday decor - any holiday.

As a photographic thank you to our pals from Everyday is a Holiday
and in an effort to promote our own brand of cross-crafty, inter-
seasonal understanding, we saddled up our oversized, Christmas 
Dream Pet to give Baby Blue (take that, Knowles-Carter family) a
ride to the big Easter egg hunt.  Everyday really is a holiday!

A Happy, Happy Easter to you and yours, from our funny little bunny!!!

"Funny Little Bunnies" (1934)

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: The Manic Monster Mash

At wacky tacky headquarters, wintertime means more than just decking the halls, one-horse-open-sleigh rides, and slurred verses of "Auld Lang Syne."  Granted, we are fairly traditional when it comes to celebrating the season's major holidays but for us, winter also means that it's "open season" for birthdays.  Clustered tightly around the holiday festivities, the many family birthdays only compound the manic level of expectation and obligation already on high alert.  It's intense.  

Running low on energy, inspiration, and funds, I was about to resort to everyone's personal favorite, the homemade coupon book.  It seemed an ingenious idea because, while I am loathe to wash a car or issue a foot rub, those ephemeral little slips of construction paper bound into a booklet by craft yarn are so easily misplaced and therefore, rarely cashed in.  Furthermore, the fine print that I always include on the back of said coupons legally exonerates me from actually having to perform any literal acts of service.  My scheme was BRILLIANT!!!  The more I thought of it, the more I realized that I had plenty of resources with which to make a few heirloom-worthy gifts that would seem at least slightly more inspired than a few lousy coupons with looming expiration dates...or maybe I just ran out of construction paper.

With a far-out family, I knew I could get away with some far-out gifts.
Fully aware that Halloween was long behind us, I decided that the mash-up of the
birthday and Christmas seasons was the perfect inspiration for a MONSTER MASH! 

Made from the furry, green remnants of a long ago project, the first
monster I made was the Color-Wheel Christmas Birthday Monster!!!

Can you tell which one is the monster and which one is the birthday boy?
Happy, if slightly confused by the gift, he knows that it is as the button says,
"I Am Loved."

The next monster in our manic monster mash was loosely based on an illustration created by the recipient.  While less detailed, I think the three-dimensional monster captures the googly-eyed essence of both the art and the artist.

Would you believe that I also had remnant pieces of a fuzzy,
black faux-fur in my monster mountain of a fabric stash?

Like the first monster, the details of the mouth are achieved through layered

pieces of vinyl and the eyes are stacked buttons.  I must say, I thought it was

pretty clever to use buttons of different diameter to enhance the wonky eyes!

Call him ugly if you dare, but with an I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I
sensibility, his button reads, "So's your old man!"

The final monster in our series may look sweet and innocent but don't be charmed by those long, beguiling eyelashes.  They belong to nature's reject, one of the most repulsive freaks of the modern sideshow, none other than... 

Yo-Yo the Frog-Face Boy!!!

Scary, right?
Yo-Yo is made up of forty yo-yos created from fabric scraps with an
overstuffed head balanced lazily on top.  The embroidered nostrils gurgle
as his soulless, buggy, black eyes scan the crowd for his next victim.
The foul pink tongue is permanently poised to lash out and snatch your face!!!

Okay, okay...it's just a cute frog.  But I made it and wanted to include it in this post.

In the end, I realized that I can simply never be sure if store-bought gifts would have been more well-received.  Either way, I tend to think that hand-crafted gifts are the best...at least on my pocketbook!

"The Monster Mash" - Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Cryptkickers

Did you make any gifts this holiday/birthday season?  Do you prefer homemade gifts or store-bought?

Now that I've exhausted my frightful, gift-giving creativity, don't be surprised by an even scarier gift season next year; it's back to COUPON BOOKS!!!  Muah, ha, ha!!!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sew What?! Here Comes Peter Cottontail

The benefits of being an uncle are great, extending far beyond the pat witticism, "all of the fun and none of the diaper changing."  In reality, I have just as many rich opportunities to damage my nephew's young psyche as my sister and brother-in-law - without any of the pesky and complicated blame usually reserved for parents.

Growing up in a funny house (comically and otherwise), the sentence for misbehavior was usually lenient if it got a laugh; that is probably because a prankster precedent was long established by Mom and Dad.  My parents were famous for their food gags; Dad would record the faces of his infant children after allowing them to suck on a lemon wedge.  Mom would offer me a heaping spoonful of "whipped cream" just waiting for my emerging taste buds to discover the difference between whipped cream and horseradish.  But the hijinks were not limited to juvenile ulcers; every time I was late for junior high school, Dad would write a note detailing the crippling nature of my "chronic diarrhea" or the importance of my diplomacy efforts in Iran.  Mom was a consummate scarer; after so many times of her hiding behind a door or jumping from around the corner shouting "Boo," I have developed the stealth (deceptive for my size and shape) of a cat burglar, refusing to round a corner without clearing the area like a SWAT operative.

This practical-joke morality was always imbued with a strong pay-it-forward ethos; just because I am bereft of progeny doesn't mean that I shouldn't educate the next generation on the finer points of bad tastes, fear, and embarrassment.  While out thrifting, I found the perfect pay-it-forward moment in Simplicity 9050, a pattern for a children's costume, dated 1970.  I say, "Welcome home" to almost any pattern that says, "Simple-to-Sew."  In turn, my nephew can say "goodbye" to a carefree childhood devoid of humiliating costumery and "hello" to years of group counseling (given this trauma, the likelihood that he'll ever be able to afford private therapy sessions is improbable at best).

Simplicity 9050

I got the pattern for a quarter; it always makes me happy when I

pay less than the price Mrs. Smith paid more than forty years ago!

Sure, the kitties are pretty and the poodle divine
 but the real belly laughs are with that pink bunny rabbit!

I honestly thought that pink bunny suits were the invention of Jean Shepherd and have only ever associated them with Ralphie's yuletide mortification in A Christmas Story.

Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker
in A Christmas Story (1983)

If Mom thought the horseradish caper of '87 was a corker, then a bunny suit à la Mr. Tiny was sure to be one for the record books. 

Have you ever?!?!!!
I couldn't even finish zipping the zipper; I just about melted the minute I saw him in
this get-up!  I guess the joke was on me; he seemed to love being the Easter Bunny.

The "paws" are sewn like an envelope so the wearer can unwrap Easter candy (in true family tradition, I considered sewing them shut but I'm not a monster).  Staying faithful to A Christmas Story, I used a raspberry-colored charmeuse for the contrast material and made bunny faces on the feet.  I even finished the soles with the kind of non-skid material found on factory-made footie pajamas. 

Left with a scant yard of pink material and the inspiration of Fred Astaire in Easter Parade, I realized that our little hunny bunny needed a bunny of his own.

"Drum Crazy" - Fred Astaire in Easter Parade (1948)

My sincere expectation was that an early Easter celebration combined with his unqualified hatred
of the bunny suit would require an Easter basket bribe - I guess I shouldn't have worried.

The stuffed, pink bunny (bestowed with the name "Pinkaroni" by the waitress at our favorite pizza joint) is fashioned in the exact same materials as the suit and became a constant companion for a few days.  I used vintage, velvet ribbon to make an aqua bow tie and hastily embroidered a face finished by two shoe-button eyes. 

A bunny costume would not be complete without a fuzzy cottontail.
The costume pattern called for a homemade, yarn, pom-pom tail but I knew that I would be able
to find something ready-made that would outclass my meager pom-pom-making skills.
Do you see those fluffy, pink, cotton tails?  They started life as a pair of earmuffs from the 99¢ Only Store!
I considered sizing down the tail on the stuffed bunny rabbit but I thought the giant tail was much funnier. 

The cutest thing I have ever seen!!!
He wasn't even the slightest bit distressed looking like a "pink nightmare."

Maybe this is a time-release terror formula; maybe it won't kick in until he is old enough to understand the humiliation.  Maybe the payoff will be when he gets his first girlfriend and we break out the infamous bunny pictures.

The great part is that the joke is really on my sister; after many years have passed and my nephew looks back at pictures of himself in a pink bunny suit, even he won't wonder how Uncle Tiny fit into the equation, he'll really only wonder why his parents would allow this to happen.

"Here Comes Peter Cottontail" - Gene Autry (1950)

Until then, we wish you a Hop-Hop-Hoppy Easter!!!


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sew What?! Baby Elephant Walk

At first, I couldn't decide if this was a "Sew What?!" project or a just another Crazy Craft.  When I examined the fundamentals, I realized that the only supplies involved were cotton fabric, thread, batting/fiber fill, ribbon, and some pom-pom fringe - no yarn, hot glue, beads, popsicle sticks, felt, rhinestones, feathers, foam, puffy paint, or sequins.  Furthermore, the only techniques involved were machine and hand sewing - this was definitely a sewing project!

Mary and I have been invited to perform at a private event, to be exact, a baby shower (a co-ed baby shower, no less).  I know that we are paid entertainment, but I have a hard time showing up completely empty-handed to a party.  Not knowing the host and hostess (the expectant parents) very well, not knowing the sex of the unborn baby, and not knowing if/where they're registered, I figured that I could put my stash-busting skills to work and make something that was mostly gender-neutral and suitable as a small token of congratulations for the proud mama and papa-to-be.

This is what I came up with.
I started making these stuffed animals and then, for some reason, decided that they needed to be wearing bathing suits.
The cool cat wears jams and the dainty elephant wears a floral, yo-yo bikini edged in pom-pom trim.
They were all ready in their bathing costumes, so I had to take them to the beach.

There are many unusual sights along the Southern California coastline, none so strange as the fully-grown, fully-dressed man laying down in the sand to spread out tiny towels and a miniature umbrella for his stuffed animals.
Would it have been less weird if I had made a little picnic too?

Sun worshippers!
"Everybody had matching towels!"

Aware that I have already shared this song multiple times, I couldn't help but include "Stuffed Animal" again, both for its thematic relevance as well as my love for the bizarre lyrics as so eloquently delivered by Annette in a 1960's peignoir.

"Stuffed Animal" - Annette Funicello

So deep in the thick of stuffed animal making, and excited by the fact that the cutest nephew in the world was coming to town, I decided to make yet another miniature mammal.

This particular kid is obsessed with three things: pumpkins, trains, and PIRATES.
 I thought it would be fun to make a pirate elephant...and it was.  I started with the same blue, floral
material used to create the bikini-clad elephant's body but used a red-and-white stripe for the legs.
Sticking with the red, white, and blue color scheme, I used navy-and-white polka dot fabric for the
pants and eye patch and a red bandana for the head scarf (the ears go though machine-made
buttonholes), and multi-stripe grosgrain ribbon for the sash.  A PATRIOTIC PIRALEPHANT!!!

I gave it to him when we picked him up from the airport and he loved it (a welcome surprise from a
kid who likes something for one minute and then throws it in a corner never to acknowledge its
 existence ever again).  He even asked to sleep with it at night.  Yahoo!

After all of these baby elephants (and one cat), there was really only one other song that would underscore this post perfectly.

"Baby Elephant Walk" - Henry Mancini

as performed by The Lawrence Welk Orchestra

I hope the recipients of these animals will like them.  My favorite part of this project was that it required zero trips to the fabric store; I used only what I had on hand!  Have you ever made a stuffed animal?  What do you think of homemade gifts?  Are they corny or cool...or both?

Here's hoping that the waning days of summer (Northern Hemisphere) are treating you well!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny