Friday, December 7, 2012

Chow Time: The Apple Pan

There are times in your life when you are doing fine, sure in the knowledge that you are doing your utmost to put your best foot forward.  Confidently striding along the precipice of disaster, you take one teeny-tiny false step and find that you are slipping down that old proverbial slope, realizing that the substance that makes it so slippery is grease - specifically french fry grease.  Aaaarrrgh!  Why are french fries so darn tasty?  It is impossible to just try one french fry.  French fries from The Apple Pan in Westwood are, of course, no exception to the rule.

Mr. Tiny looking sheepish after he answered
the siren song of french fries...and hamburgers.

I really have been trying to "eat better" (vague enough to allow for a multitude of sins).  Sometimes, however, in my quest to bring you good people the best in wacky tacky, I make selfless sacrifices, yes, even my health and well being.

The Apple Pan
"Quality Forever"

To be honest, The Apple Pan is as close to my idea of perfection, in terms of the type of restaurant that I would like to own, as an existing building could be.  It looks like a 1930's roadside cabin painted a creamy white with green trim and awnings.  The horseshoe counter accommodates no more than 25 guests, the kitchen (such as it is) is visible behind a brick facade, ceiling fans circulate the air so a fine coating of french fry and hamburger grease is evenly distributed throughout the restaurant and upon each guest, and then, of course, there is the tartan wallpaper.

The screen-door entry
The building could not offer any more charm.

Button-tufted barstools

The tartan plaid wallpaper

With all of its old-timey charm, The Apple Pan is in no way my idea of a perfect operation.  I realized, after not offering my patronage for many years, just why I had been absent for so long.  Firstly, the seating is limited to whatever stools happen to be vacant around the counter.  Let's just put it this way, the seats at The Apple Pan never have a chance to cool down between uses; it's always extremely busy and names are never taken.  Thusly, getting a seat is akin to an ancient Roman blood sport.  I hate waiting in line more than I hate people who refuse to use their turn signals.  I hate even more that someone who might have come into the restaurant after me gets a seat before I do because they happened to be staking out an area of quicker eaters than I.  Seriously, in the above picture you can see the culture of hovering (which isn't pleasant for anyone) and the one guy who chose to eat standing up because he could not get a seat.  Secondly, the service at The Apple Pan is, shall we say, gruff.  The staff is extremely efficient but efficiency and ungraciousness need not be synonymous.  Obviously, they are doing something right because they have been serving the same menu in the same location for 65 years but a little gentility wouldn't hurt the operation.

The french fries....pure evil.

In spite of my quibbles with the seating and customer service, there are things that I genuinely like about The Apple Pan.  Although it isn't a dining car, it is definitely reminiscent of the kind of joint where one could catch Wimpy offering to "Gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."  The cups are wax paper cones set inside those metal, tulip-shaped stands (in all honesty I prefer a glass and a straw but this practice gets major nostalgia points).  Plus, once one is actually seated, it is the kind of place that feels perfectly old-timey; when one's eyes are squinted, it is hard to tell if it is 1947 or 2012 - that's a very good thing!  And then there is the food....

It doesn't look like anything particularly special but the spice-filled relish is
quite good and all of the ingredients add up to a harmoniously balanced burger.

Caught in the act

I really shouldn't bad mouth the service too vehemently; noticing that her meatless hamburger (she's always trying to one-up me in the "eating better" arena) took an inordinate amount of time to prepare, the server slung Mary a free piece of pie.  Such is Mary's life; she pretty much gets free stuff/preferential treatment wherever we go.

No pie for me...but can I keep the plate?
Except for the pie, nothing at The Apple Pan is served on a proper plate;
if I had these plates, I would probably save them for special occasions too!

Just like Disneyland's candy store, there is a viewing window in the
restaurant so diners can see the preparation of pies.  What I saw was puzzling.
The baker holds in his left hand some kind of sweet slurry which he adds,
through a hole in the top crust, to already baked apple pies.
I'm sure it was tasty, but have you ever heard of such a practice???

I'm at a loss as to the exact explanation of the restaurant's name.  As is evidenced above, they have pie, even apple pie, but there is absolutely no apple pan dowdy to be seen.  In it's glaring absence, I bring you some shoo-fly pie AND apple pan dowdy of a different variety.

"Shoo-Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy" - June Christy
Pay no attention to the sexy lips, this is a very chaste
 song about homemade dessert...or is it???



The Apple Pan
10801 Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA
(310)475-3585


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

18 comments:

  1. I can't believe I've never been here. Thanks for the kick in the pans - next time I'm in L.A.!

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    1. Yes, you've got to try it at least once. I have a sneaky suspicion your photographs will be far superior!

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  2. There is absolutely nothing unhealthy about eating the occasional burger and fries. It's when people don't treat treats, as actual occasional treats, that things gets dangerous.

    I just had garlic rosemary tater tots. They were delicious.

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    1. Thank you! I do beat myself up for eating anything that's not good. I'm trying to find the balance. I just LOVE hamburgers so much!!!

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  3. oh how cute! i love the cone in the little holder. but i would HATE to hover and wait for a table too! there is a place like that in louisville and i get so worked up while waiting to snatch a table

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    1. I know, I am not an aggressive/assertive person at all so it makes me uncomfortable...I almost lose my appetite...ALMOST!!!

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  4. I was in the area on two Sundays, around 10pm, but all I did was photograph the signs. (The first time, letters were dark.)
    Probably could have had a seat at that time of day...

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    1. Mary said that she has been there without having to wait. My luck dictates a wait time of at least 20 minutes.

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  5. Oh my, those fries DO look tasty! I'd have to douse them in vinegar with some salt and mmmmmmm, I can almost taste 'em!!!!! (The choco-cream pie looks good, and so do the burgers!) Great. Now I'm hungry. LOL

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    1. Don't get me started! I'm trying avoid looking at the pictures lest I be tempted to go back!

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  6. I'd hate to have to explain comping a piece of pie to a customer BECAUSE WE TOOK SO LONG MAKING HER HAMBURGER WITH NO MEAT ON IT!

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    1. Somehow, unbelievably, her meatless burger came overcooked. She clearly asked for medium rare.

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  7. I can't not stand waiting in line either, but I would probably do it for a good piece of pie. Did Mary like her pie?

    I know how you feel about the temptation of naughty food. I am constantly chastising myself for loving ribs, fried chicken, and pie just a little too much. But I can't help it; it's in my blood.

    Happy Holidays! I love your twinsie xmas trees!

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    1. Hahahaha!!! Yes, it's in my blood too - along with all the cholesterol!!! Mary definitely liked her pie. She even said that there are times during the day when she has gone when The Apple Pan had no wait time; I'll believe it when I see it! Thanks! Happy Holidays to you too!

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  8. I just discovered your blog...
    First I saw the banner at the top with the famous Chinese girl Tretchikoff (I'm sure I'm mangling that name) painting, and I thought "ooh, this looks right up my alley". But then!!! OMG THE APPLE PAN!!!!
    I love the apple pan so much. The plaid wallpaper. The screen door. The surly guys behind the counter. The paper cones. Most of all, though, I love the banana cream pie! Have you had it? Seriously, it's ridiculous. If I was goin' to the electric chair, that banana cream pie would be my last meal.
    Adding myself to your "followers" :-)

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    1. Hiya Dina! Welcome, welcome! I'm so glad that you found us. I'm extremely sensitive to dairy products, so the banana cream pie would HAVE to be my last meal before going to the electric chair - hahahaha!!!

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  9. We have a sort-of similar restaurant in a small town about 20 minutes away...the food is down-home, stick-to-the-ribs-type cooking and there is often a wait time, since people come from all over to eat there! The breakfasts are what breakfasts should be (three eggs, plenty of thick-cut bacon, and the toast is properly buttered with BUTTER, thick-sliced and made from bread made on location! The (numerous kinds of) pies are killer-diller, too! The help is not surly, though! So if you are ever down central-Ontario way check out "Marj's Village Kitchen" about 15 minutes outside of Elora, Ontario (famous as one of the most scenic spots in Ontario) in the teeny-tiny town of Alma.

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    1. That sounds incredible! Like many, I am trying to diminish in size but now you've got me hungry for a big country breakfast! Mmmmm-mmmmm!!! Another one of our wacky tacky resolutions this year is to travel more and find the wacky tacky all over - domestically and internationally. Keep us posted of good hotspots in your area and we'll start putting together an itinerary! Thank you!!!

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