Chow Time: Woolworth's 5 & 10 Luncheonette

What would you do if you had a time machine?  Like a lot of history enthusiasts, it is a question that often crosses my mind.  It might sound silly and superficial, but I would definitely employ my time machine for regular shopping trips to Woolworth's.  For me, a time machine would only be as good as the history I could bring "back to the future" with me; and the things I love most are the ephemeral objects offered at bargain prices from Woolworth's - greeting cards, holiday decorations, Halloween costumes, etc.  The city in which I grew up had a long-standing 5&10, Gilbert's, but by the time I had money enough to do my own shopping, the days of five and ten-cent items were long gone.  Gilbert's finally gave up the ghost in the 1990s when it could no longer be seen through the forest of Dollar Trees.

Even at the worst of times, in my entire life I have never shoplifted.  And yet, my favorite scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's is when Holly and Paul outwit the store detective to steal masks from the Woolworth's.  I've watched the scene over and over as much for the vicarious thrill of larceny as for creating a mental shopping list (masks included) should my Woolworth's/time travel scenario ever become a reality.

Woolworth's shoplifting scene from Breakfast at Tiffany's

Thankfully, there is a place that provides a bit of time travel without the necessity of a flux-capacitor.  In the heart of downtown Bakersfield, CA stands one of the only remaining Woolworth's Luncheonettes still in operation.  Built in 1936, the heyday for glorious Streamline storefronts, the building houses both the lunch counter and a bilevel antique store.  Excited to see a beautifully preserved retail environment and hungry from our drive, we made Woolworth's Luncheonette the first stop on Mr. Tiny's Bakersfield Birthday Bonanza!

Would you believe that this was Mr. Tiny's first visit to a proper luncheonette?
What was more exciting, lunch at a lunch counter or color coordinating?  I just don't know!

Purists might poo-poo the paltry cosmetic updates of the luncheonette.  Rather than wasting even one calorie on negativity, we tried to burn off our lunch in high praise of the folks who keep this landmark alive with the sites and smells of 20th-Century American life!

Sure, the red-vinyl barstools and checkerboard floor are a little corny but they are more than made up for by the gorgeous, curved, honey-blonde wood panelling punctuated by rose-gold mirrors, the terrazzo staircases with their Streamline Deco banisters, and the beautiful utility of all that classic, chrome, soda fountain fixturing! 

Don't go to Woolworth's expecting a full diner menu; you will find no meatloaf, no Adam and Eve on a raft, no blue plate special.  Proving that too many choices is not always a good thing, Woolworth's Luncheonette graciously limits the options to hamburgers, hot dogs, and a few sandwiches.  They do, however, offer a wide variety of old-timey fountain treats and some of the freshest lemonade I've ever tasted.

I don't know if it was just my surroundings leaving me defenseless against the
power of suggestion, but the hamburger actually tasted deliciously old-fashioned!

Even with full stomachs, a packed itinerary, and daylight burning, we couldn't bring ourselves to leave Woolworth's without at least a brief exploration of the antique store's offerings.

Since it was our first stop of the day, we didn't want to blow the birthday budget in one pop.  As
much as I was drooling over the graphics on this souvenir "Note Tote" with the original stationery
and letter opener, I settled instead on a few nicely-priced Christmas ornaments.

Had they fit in the wacky wagon (and had they been for sale),
I surely would have "settled" for this fantastic foursome as well!!! 

Without the benefit of time travel, I guess we'll never get the chance to turn a pocketful of change into a Woolworth's shopping spree.  Thankfully, there are thoughtful business owners who allow the visiting preservationists within us the opportunity to experience the same luxury of luncheonette service that Bakersfield residents have enjoyed for nearly eight decades.  Thanks to Woolworth's Luncheonette, we think we've found a million-dollar baby in the five-and-ten cent store!

"I Found a Million Dollar Baby (In a Five and Ten Cent Store)" - Bing Crosby

Did you grow up frequenting your local five-and-dime?  Have you ever stopped at the Woolworth's in Bakersfield?  We encourage you to make Bakersfield more than a mere blur as you whiz by on your north or southbound travels; take the time to time travel with a stop at Woolworth's for a soda, a sandwich, and some shopping!

Woolworth's Luncheonette & Five-and-Dime Antique Mall
1400 19th St
Bakersfield, CA
(661)321-0061


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Chow Time: The Apple Pan

There are times in your life when you are doing fine, sure in the knowledge that you are doing your utmost to put your best foot forward.  Confidently striding along the precipice of disaster, you take one teeny-tiny false step and find that you are slipping down that old proverbial slope, realizing that the substance that makes it so slippery is grease - specifically french fry grease.  Aaaarrrgh!  Why are french fries so darn tasty?  It is impossible to just try one french fry.  French fries from The Apple Pan in Westwood are, of course, no exception to the rule.

Mr. Tiny looking sheepish after he answered
the siren song of french fries...and hamburgers.

I really have been trying to "eat better" (vague enough to allow for a multitude of sins).  Sometimes, however, in my quest to bring you good people the best in wacky tacky, I make selfless sacrifices, yes, even my health and well being.

The Apple Pan
"Quality Forever"

To be honest, The Apple Pan is as close to my idea of perfection, in terms of the type of restaurant that I would like to own, as an existing building could be.  It looks like a 1930's roadside cabin painted a creamy white with green trim and awnings.  The horseshoe counter accommodates no more than 25 guests, the kitchen (such as it is) is visible behind a brick facade, ceiling fans circulate the air so a fine coating of french fry and hamburger grease is evenly distributed throughout the restaurant and upon each guest, and then, of course, there is the tartan wallpaper.

The screen-door entry
The building could not offer any more charm.

Button-tufted barstools

The tartan plaid wallpaper

With all of its old-timey charm, The Apple Pan is in no way my idea of a perfect operation.  I realized, after not offering my patronage for many years, just why I had been absent for so long.  Firstly, the seating is limited to whatever stools happen to be vacant around the counter.  Let's just put it this way, the seats at The Apple Pan never have a chance to cool down between uses; it's always extremely busy and names are never taken.  Thusly, getting a seat is akin to an ancient Roman blood sport.  I hate waiting in line more than I hate people who refuse to use their turn signals.  I hate even more that someone who might have come into the restaurant after me gets a seat before I do because they happened to be staking out an area of quicker eaters than I.  Seriously, in the above picture you can see the culture of hovering (which isn't pleasant for anyone) and the one guy who chose to eat standing up because he could not get a seat.  Secondly, the service at The Apple Pan is, shall we say, gruff.  The staff is extremely efficient but efficiency and ungraciousness need not be synonymous.  Obviously, they are doing something right because they have been serving the same menu in the same location for 65 years but a little gentility wouldn't hurt the operation.

The french fries....pure evil.

In spite of my quibbles with the seating and customer service, there are things that I genuinely like about The Apple Pan.  Although it isn't a dining car, it is definitely reminiscent of the kind of joint where one could catch Wimpy offering to "Gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."  The cups are wax paper cones set inside those metal, tulip-shaped stands (in all honesty I prefer a glass and a straw but this practice gets major nostalgia points).  Plus, once one is actually seated, it is the kind of place that feels perfectly old-timey; when one's eyes are squinted, it is hard to tell if it is 1947 or 2012 - that's a very good thing!  And then there is the food....

It doesn't look like anything particularly special but the spice-filled relish is
quite good and all of the ingredients add up to a harmoniously balanced burger.

Caught in the act

I really shouldn't bad mouth the service too vehemently; noticing that her meatless hamburger (she's always trying to one-up me in the "eating better" arena) took an inordinate amount of time to prepare, the server slung Mary a free piece of pie.  Such is Mary's life; she pretty much gets free stuff/preferential treatment wherever we go.

No pie for me...but can I keep the plate?
Except for the pie, nothing at The Apple Pan is served on a proper plate;
if I had these plates, I would probably save them for special occasions too!

Just like Disneyland's candy store, there is a viewing window in the
restaurant so diners can see the preparation of pies.  What I saw was puzzling.
The baker holds in his left hand some kind of sweet slurry which he adds,
through a hole in the top crust, to already baked apple pies.
I'm sure it was tasty, but have you ever heard of such a practice???

I'm at a loss as to the exact explanation of the restaurant's name.  As is evidenced above, they have pie, even apple pie, but there is absolutely no apple pan dowdy to be seen.  In it's glaring absence, I bring you some shoo-fly pie AND apple pan dowdy of a different variety.

"Shoo-Fly Pie and Apple Pan Dowdy" - June Christy

Pay no attention to the sexy lips, this is a very chaste

 song about homemade dessert...or is it???

The Apple Pan
10801 Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA
(310)475-3585


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Chow Time: Chili John's

I have always dreamed about owning my own cafe.  I will freely admit that it has as much to do with The Whistle Stop Cafe of Fried Green Tomatoes fame as it does with the joy I find in preparing simple, tasty food.  I would LOVE to do some old-fashioned cooking for a manageable crowd in an old-fashioned setting.  For not really being an outgoing, people-person type, I really enjoy interacting with folks on a level that is afforded by a more intimately-scaled establishment.  Much like the best kind of grandmother, I truly love feeding people.  Fortunately there are still places that show me that my dreams are more than just the stuff of literary and movie land magic.  Chili John's in Burbank, CA is proof that a little bowl of heaven can still be had - even in Los Angeles. 

"As you like it"

The original Chili John's is in Greenbay, WI and has been serving
 hungry chili-philes at various locations for over 100 years!

The menu at Chili John's is small and at first glance, it seems like the options may be limited.  Tut, tut, given all of the possible combinations, variety abounds.  There are three kinds of chili - veggie, beef (spicy or mild), and chicken;  because we were newbies, they allowed us a sample of each kind.  Each tasty in its own right, I preferred the chicken.  Your choice of chili can be served over pink beans, spaghetti, rice, a tamale, a hot dog, or unadorned on a pillowy bun.  In fact, the menu boasts three different sandwich options but upon closer inspection, they are all exactly the same thing (chili on a bun) with the exception being the sandwich that offers additional "bean juice."  Mmmmmmm...bean juice.

Crackers, onions, peppers, and hot sauce are available to every diner

Chicken chili over beans and spaghetti with onions and oyster crackers.
DID YOU KNOW that John "Chili John" Issac, the Lithuanian immigrant behind the chili,
 was also integral in creating the oyster cracker?  Working with an executive at Nabisco,
he developed a spoon-size cracker to eat with his chili!  Since then, a carafe of oyster
 crackers has stood at the ready for every Chili John's diner.

Mary's monster mess!
Veggie chili with rice, cheese, and sour cream.
Be warned, Mary liked the veggie chili but she wasn't too fond of the rice;
it was filled with fennel seeds.  Sensing her dislike, they promptly
replaced the rice with beans and a chili refill!

Only twenty four seats in the whole place,
all of them stools around a horseshoe counter.

Chili John's is famous for it's pie too.
They have two kinds - lemon and pineapple; both are pudding-like with a graham
 cracker crumb base and whipped-cream topping.  Because I am supremely intolerant
of lactose (among other things), they brought Mary a mini slice for free!!! 

In the corner, they had a cool, succulent terrarium on a cracked ice dinette table.
Did they know we were coming?!!!

Perhaps this was the most poorly timed post considering all of the recent Thanksgiving indulging, but I think enough time has passed to where the leftovers are gone and you're ready to start thinking about food again.  Plus, they don't have turkey chili at Chili John's, so I figured it was safe.  If you're ever in the Burbank area, stop by for some chili "as you like it," or take some home!

Chili John's of California

2018 W Burbank Blvd

Burbank, CA

(818)846-3611

www.chilijohnsca.com

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

p.s. Don't forget to enter our AWESOME GIVEAWAY!!!