Hollywood House Hunting: Taking the "Day Off"

"I heard that you were feeling ill -

Headache, fever, and a chill.

I came to help restore your pluck;

Cause I'm the nurse who likes to...(SLAM)!!!"

Like a lot of guys, I'm kind of a weakling when it comes to being sick.  I'll never make my illness anyone else's problem but I will be the first to shut the door, curl up in a ball, and refuse to emerge from my room until the last trace of phlegm has left the building.  Sick days are meant to be used and, as the old saying goes, "If you don't use 'em, you lose 'em."  Indeed, I have no compunction about taking the day off so as to avoid publicly suffering through the day, spreading my infectious germs hither and yon all over the workplace (Attention potential employers: please ignore this).  Honestly, if you think I look bad at full capacity, trust me when I say that you certainly don't want the vision of me in ill health haunting your dreams.  Yes, the best thing to do when one is under the weather is to stay home.  On the rare occasion when a "mental health day" is in order, I fully endorse the exploitation of that opportunity as well.  When there is adventure to be had, make like Ferris Bueller and take the day off!  And what better way to enjoy a day off than to see the house where Ferris lived?

"Bueller, Bueller, Bueller..."
The Bueller Home from Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off was kind of a cinematic anomaly in our house.  It was the first/only PG-13 movie we were allowed to see at a time when my parents took the "13" very seriously (I was well under thirteen when the film was released).  On a rare "date night," my parents actually saw the movie in the movie theater; so smitten were they by the last time Matthew Broderick exhibited any kind of onscreen charm, they made sure that, rather than continuously borrowing it from the library, we owned a copy of our very own.  With other movies (all other movies) my mom would launch her person in front of the screen like some kind of human shield/missile interceptor to protect us from questionable cinematic moments like passionate kissing, profane language, and even intimated intimacy.  I'll never forget a little library rental starring John Lithgow called Traveling Man.  Confused by the NR-rating, I think my mom earnestly believed that the dad from Harry and the Hendersons would never make a movie to challenge her parental guidelines.  That delusion was the exact reason she was just a few seconds too late to block the highly-motivating talents of a rather-buxom exotic dancer, working hard to motivate Lithgow and a conference room full of traveling salesmen.  I think my mom "lost her library card" after that incident.  With FBDO, she always remained in her seat; she must've figured that the references and words we understood weren't too bad and the rest went right over our little toe-heads.  After countless viewings, Ferris Bueller's Day Off is a venerated title around our house, oft watched and oft quoted.

Most guys liked Sloane (Mia Sara) but Jennifer Grey was feisty, and foul-mouthed!!!
The nose may change but she'll always be Jeanie/Shawna to me.

If I could never have Jeanie, there was always Grace (Edie McClurg) - GENIUS!!!

So impactful has this movie been on my life that I have spent many years chasing the dream.  Everywhere I go, I try to capture the Bueller mystique, starting at the Art Institute of Chicago.  Sent to the city on business several years ago, I made my work pals (a woman, another fellow, and me) pose like the famous statue, Portrait of Balzac (à la Ferris, Sloane, and Cameron).  In a very un-Ferris fashion, I was unsuccessful in my attempt when the one person willing to take our photo didn't understand what we were trying to do and then got distracted/hassled by an aggressive female docent.  Infuriated, all I could manage to say was, "What if you need a favor someday from Ferris Bueller? Then where will you be, huh?  You heartless wench!"

This could have been us!

Knowing the important place this movie occupies in my heart and mind, I felt it was finally time to go find the Bueller homestead.  While John Hughes' films are well-known for their Chicago setting, I luckily didn't have to travel quite so far.  Instead of suburban Chicago, the Bueller home is actually in Bixby Knolls, an historically-ritzy enclave of Long Beach, CA (who knew Ferris and Snoop Dogg were neighbors???).

The shutters are now blue, the trees have grown, but that portico
and hedge-framed circular driveway are unmistakably Bueller.

Confession time.  As much as I like to pretend I am a "righteous dude" like Ferris, in the imaginary recasting of the film, there is no question that I am Cameron.  I have my moments; I've been known to join a parade, dance and sing in public, enjoy the occasional ditch day, lie to my parents, and make my sister's life miserable, but I am really just a tightly-wound bundle of nerves, neuroses, and insecurities - think lump of coal/diamond.  I think that is why, nearly thirty years later, the film continues to resonate so deeply with me.  Quelling my anxieties, the film's message is to take chances, to enjoy life, to adventure, and to live in the moment (even if the moment is simply a short drive on your day off to see the outside of a stranger's house).  As Ferris says, "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it."  And so I say to you, just "take a stand" and take the car...but don't kill the car.

The Ferris Bueller House

4160 Country Club Dr

Long Beach, CA

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

ABC Boogie

Not so very long ago, I was awarded the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award by my friend Emily over at The Silver Screen Affair.  As part of that award and subsequent blog post I was required to list seven, little-known facts about myself.  Recently, I have hit one of life's charming, little "bumps in the road" and consequently, "ye olde blog" has definitely suffered.  I haven't gotten out of the house very much and therefore have not had much about which to write.  In a feeble effort to maintain the blog, I thought I would share an additional bit of personal trivia (something I would not ordinarily do) because I am a "blogger lemming" and after seeing a few other bloggers share their alphabetical information I thought it seemed interesting.  Hopefully, I am not alone in that.  To get you in the spirit, please enjoy the "ABC Boogie."

"ABC Boogie" - Bill Haley & The Comets

A-Age: 

Majority.  I always wondered why people hid their true age; now I know it is because it is embarrassing to explain to people that even though you act like you're 14, you're actually 30 - from what I hear.

B-Bed: 

I go alone. Nosy, yeesh...

C-Chore that you hate:

Shaving!!!  I suppose shaving would better be listed under the category of personal hygiene/grooming but dang, it is definitely a chore.  What can I say, I have a big face!

D-Dogs:

They're barking...time for some orthotics.

E-Essential start to your day:

Waking up.

F-Favorite Color:

It is hard to think of a color that I don't like.  I am definitely drawn to the primaries.

G-Gold or silver:

This is probably the only one that I can give a completely-honest and unequivocal answer - GOLD, GOLD, GOLD!!!!  Silver just ain't tacky.

H-Height:

Am I standing up straight?

I-Instruments you play:

Okay, it's time to get a little serious.  Just recently I have discovered that one is never too old to become a child prodigy.  Without bragging, I have been told that I am a Fisher-Price Pull-A-Tune Xylophone virtuoso.  I am self-taught and play entirely by ear.

J-Job title:

The title that I would give my job is far different than the imprint on my business card.  Until the whole go-go dancer/reality show star thing works out, I think it better to simply refrain from saying anything negative. 

K-Kids:

Love 'em.  No matter how old I get my mentality remains that of a seven-year-old - a very hungry, very opinionated, very surly, seven-year-old that has missed his nap, but a seven-year-old nonetheless.  It is their honesty and quickness to laugh that makes kids the best human beings.  I could never be a teacher, Sunday School or otherwise, because I think everything kids do is hysterical.

L-Live:
Absolutely, despite the ghostly pallor, I am 100% alive - okay, maybe 94% alive in sunny, Southern California.

M-Mother's name:

Sometimes I wish that it was Lily Munster or even Yvonne de Carlo but I got pretty lucky with the mom I have; her name is Deborah.

N-Nicknames:

Occasionally, people drop the "Mister" and just call me Tiny.  I am very decorous, however, and do not encourage this kind of behavior.

O-Overnight hospital stays:

None, but there's always tomorrow.  That's me, always looking on the bright side.

P-Pet peeves:

Bad drivers - with those who flip me off when they have done something wrong leading the category followed closely by those who refuse to use their turn signals, cutting in line, coughing and/or sneezing (yes, general symptoms of a potential allergy attack/cold drive me bonkers), fake British accents,  uncorrected, speech-impediments in adults, people at work who obviously see the sign but continue to exit the restroom without washing their hands, weak hand shakes (especially with the people at work who have not washed their hands), my neighbor of over 20 years who knows my name but puts "anonymous" notes addressed to "driver of this car" on my windshield threatening to call the police when I park in front of his house on a public street with the added suggestion that I park a block away and walk so his "view" will remain undisturbed, servers in restaurants who sit down with me when they are taking my order, being "put on hold" when I am actually present in a store/at an office so the person can take a phone call, slow walkers, when the volume on the TV doubles during commercial breaks...I could go on but I am afraid I'll begin to lose friends and followers...

Q-Quote from a movie:

Where do I start???  I try not to be one of those people who constantly quote films but I am an avid movie watcher and sometimes the quote fits!  Basically, any line from The Parent Trap (1961), The Quiet Man, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.  Also, "Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon; we already have the stars."

Side note: please notice the disparity between
Sharon's dainty tootsies and Susan's gargantuan, bare feet!
Additional side note:  I think Maureen O'Hara is one of the
most beautiful women to have ever graced our universe,

R-Right or left handed:

Correct.

S-Siblings:

Two many brothers and two many sisters...get it?

T-Time you wake up:

I think it actually is time that I woke up.  Truthfully, I wake up as late as possible whilst still allowing me to get to work reasonably on time. 

U-Underwear:

Buy me dinner. 

V-Vegetable you hate:

I can't think of a veggie that I hate - except CELERY!!!  You can cover it with all of the peanut butter in Peter Pan's arsenal and it still tastes gross!  And it has strings!  STRINGS!!! It's like getting a stray hair with every bite! Yech!

W-What makes you run late:

I never run if I can help it.

X-X rays you've had:

Is it normal for people to gag to the point of vomiting from routine, dental x-rays?  No, I am not asking because it happens to me every time.

Y-Yummy food that you make:

Everything I make is yummy.  I am loathe to toot my own horn, but I am a solid home-cook and love to make dinner for the fam.  Clean plates and no complaints!  I think I'll tole paint that on a little sign to hang above the stove....barf.

Z-Zoo animal:

I've already discussed my siblings, quit asking.


BONUS ABC TRIVIA: I can say/sing the alphabet backwards in under 3 seconds.  I'm sure a lot of people are capable of the same thing but really, throw me a bone, it's all I've got.




Cheers!


Mr. Tiny