Crazy Crafty: A Living Vintage Valentine

I was the kid who pressed too hard when he borrowed your markers.

It wasn't just your markers, however; when scribbling away with pen in a notebook, one could easily flip ahead at least ten pages and see a clear imprint of what I had previously written.  Oddly enough, I had an unreasonable affinity for written exams but would break an undue amount of pencils in the process, suffering from hand cramps hours after.  I've even endured severe chastisement (and costly remediation) from the dentist for brushing too hard.

Pressing too hard has been a recurring theme in my crafting life as well.  As evidenced by my Statue of Liberty Lime Jell-O, Mama's Macaroni Magic Necklace, and Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy Twine Holder,  I am quite capable of pressing a craft too hard in nearly every way - technically, thematically, and financially.  The inspiration of this year's Valentine's Day craft came from a source that often presses too hard in my favorite area of wordplay - the humble pun.

Vintage valentine cards are universally adored for their charming 

illustrations but the highlight for me is always the written sentiments.

Looking to transcend the two-dimensionality of the printed card, I envisioned a living Valentine that combined the old-timey whimsy of the illustrations with the hokiness of the punny inscription.  Gathering my supplies - and my wits - I struggled to find an original concept.

Supplies included heart-shaped safety pins, washi tape, googly eyes, pipe cleaner, and the omnipresent rick rack.

I finally came up with an idea that reflected my penchant for dad jokes, poorly-executed crafts, and killing weak plant life.  A discount cactus became the perfect foil for my Valentine's Day dream.

"You're Lookin' SHARP, Valentine!

SEW I won't stop NEEDLING you
until you put the "US" in CACTUS!"

Three puns in one sentence, that's a wacky tacky world record!
It wasn't my first instinct to use "cactus," but "succulent" lent itself to some rather unsavory word play.

Like more CUSHION for the PUSHIN'...

I could've sworn that I had at least 1,700 of those tomato pin cushions.
When I could find nary a one, I was forced to make my own
using polka dot remnants and some baker's twine.

I'll STRING ALONG with you!

Okay, baker's twine may have become something of a crafting cliche but on a
vintage wooden spool, it looks way better than plain, old, mercerized cotton.

"I'll String Along With You" - Doris Day in My Dream is Yours (1949)
It was either this or "My PUNNY Valentine."

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Crazy Crafty: The Love Boat

For a variety of reasons, I have been spending a great deal of time around the house as of late.  Let me tell you that it doesn't take long before a level dose of laundry, shopping, mopping, cooking, cleaning, diapers, and doctor appointments makes anyone appreciate the plight of a stay-at-home mom.  With so few opportunities to get out and about, one begins to forget about social interaction.  One forgets the way grown-ups behave.  One forms imaginary, yet very intense, friendships with daytime-television personalities.  One puts much more thought and energy into holiday crafts and decorating than ever before (it is really no wonder that Pinterest has blown up with a wealth of unattainable, perfectly-photographed crafts and foodstuffs).  No need to worry about that here!

I can never seem to capture and/or create anything Pinterest worthy.
It is only craft books that are intended for a more juvenile skill set, like
Easy-to-Makes(1966), that find this staunch anti-crafter wrapped in a
web of hot glue-gun strings. 

Lest you think that Mr. Tiny is turning mommy blogger, please be reminded that I, neither a mommy nor a woman (just for the record), limit my crafting to things that make me laugh, things that are wacky tacky, things that don't take much time, and things that don't cost an arm and a leg!  For Valentine's Day, I turned to page 28 of Easy-to-Makes for some holiday inspiration. 

I kind of loved the paper-plate "Cupid Carryall" but as I haven't needed
a themed mailbox for the big, classroom Valentine exchange in many years, I
figured that it made a lot more sense to go with the "Shipshape Party Favor." 

"Shipshape Party Favor" makes for a particularly ho-hum
kind of a name for this craft.  I mean, it's a cupcake-liner
with a heart sail, lollipop mast, and candy crew!
This  LOVE BOAT is ready to set sail!!!

Along with being an anti-crafter, I have always been a bit of an anti-cupcake advocate so the Love Boats (a craft employing cupcake liners) were a challenge to my sensibilities.  In the hierarchy of sweet treats, COOKIE IS KING - then cake (of the full-size variety), then trifle, then brownies, then pie, and then cupcakes!  On top of the fact that I always want the middle piece of cake (a cupcake is all edge piece), there is gene that I carry that makes me immediately revolt against an "it" item.  Seriously, haven't cupcakes had their fifteen minutes of fame already (sorry cupcake fans)?!?!?!!  Don't even get me started on the cro-nut! 

The Love Boats meet the wacky tacky, Crazy Crafty prerequisites of being
budget friendly (I had everything on-hand except for the discount Dum-Dums
and Valentine's M&M's) and easy-to-make (Thanks, Easy-to-Makes!).

The Love Boat!
Fancy with its iridescent, pipe-cleaner rigging, but not too fine, the Love Boats
would make a great jumping-off point for a nautical Valentine's table. 

We hope that as you sail into the sunset with your sweetheart this Valentine's Day, you'll feel like a first-class passenger on "The Love Boat."  Here's to a Happy and Nautical (naughty-cal?) Valentine's Day!  Cuchi-Cuchi!!!

"The Love Boat" as sung by Charo on The Love Boat

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny