Pistol Packin' Mama! A Mother's Day Tribute

Today's Woman - March 1952

Mother's Day is upon us and it can be tricky finding the right gift for mom.  Having a difficult time myself, I turned to the March 1952 issue of Today's Woman for inspiration.  

A Girdle?
Maybe, but how do I find out the correct size without spoiling the surprise?

A Weight-Loss Record?
Practical, but maybe telling mom that she needs to drop a few lbs. (40 to be exact) doesn't set the right tone for the occasion.  Also, it is hard to trust this "Wallace" character; weight loss is easy when you're just a floating head.

Mommy and Me Shampoo Goggles?
They seam ideal, but would they get here in time? And 15 cents for handling and postage?!!!
 What do I look like, a Rockefeller?

 

These gifts would be nice.  But I wasn't looking for just "nice."  I was looking for something that said, "I appreciate all the sacrifices you've made mom; I treasure the time that we get to spend together; I would not be half the man I am today without your careful and loving rearing;  I know it hasn't always been easy, but I hope I've made you proud; I love you, Mom."  Nothing quite says all of these things like an automatic handgun.

Don't relegate mom to "sales representative" for some crummy old dress manufacturer, give her the freedom to pursue the thrilling "night work" in "lonely places" about which she has always dreamed.

"Finally, my very own rod!  Thank you, Jimmy, for my WAC 'fetherlite;' now I can go work down by the docks!  That's right, with my low cost, triple safety, WAC 'fetherlite' I can plug an unruly stevedore or a dirty copper with relative ease.  It's just what I've always wanted!"

"Pistol Packin' Mama" - Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters

Unfortunately, the Western Arms Corporation is no longer an active dealer of firearms, according to this very thorough investigation of the company that I found online.  So, you'll just have to find a reputable dealer in your town or simply go to a bad neighborhood in your local area to find the ideal gift for your mom.  Remember, if you really loved her, you'd get her a deadly weapon. Thanks Today's Woman!  This is sure to be one happy Mother's Day!

"Bang Bang" - Janis Martin

A very heartfelt Happy Mother's Day to my own mom and all the other wacky tacky moms out there!!!  Make your mom proud and follow us on Facebook!  She'll be glad that you did.


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Rockin' & Rollin'

No expert in the history of music*, my knowledge of the subject extends about as far as the typical American Bandstand teenager.  Basically, I know when a song "has a good beat and you can dance to it."  In examining the history of 20th Century American music, I think one tends to compartmentalize musical genres by decade.   Like all cultural movements in history, however, music is predicated (whether evolutionary or reactionary) on the styles of previous artists.  Therefore, I thought I would share a brief history of pre-1950's "Rock 'n' Roll."  Even though some of these songs have little if nothing to do with the contemporary understanding of Rock, it is the idea of equating music and dancing with, shall we say, more "romantic" activities and the very introduction of the vernacular that make these songs true Rock 'n' Roll classics.

My Daddy Rocks Me (with one steady roll) - Trixie Evans (1922)

Rock and Roll - The Boswell Sisters (1934)

Rock it for Me - Chick Webb w/ Ella Fitzgerald (1938)

Rockin' Rollin' Mama - Buddy Jones (1939)

Rock Daniel - Sister Rosetta Tharpe (1941)

Rock & Roll - Wild Bill Moore (1948)

All She Wants to do is Rock - Wynonie Harris (1948/49)

These songs are important not just for their musicianship and catchy rhythms, but because they introduced the idea of rockin' and rollin' to the consciousness of America and as we know, all mama's children wanna rock!

All Mama's Children - Carl Perkins (1956)

*All of you hardcore musicians, please don't reprimand for minor misinformation.  As I said, I'm no expert!!

Cheers!

Mr. Tiny