Showing posts with label road trip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label road trip. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

"THE THING? is The Thing!"

When your eyes can't be believed,
And your ears can't stand the ring,
That's when you will know you're in
The presence of...

THE THING?!!!

Forgive us our tress-passes...
Starting our road trip at the traditional hour of 4:30 in the morning, left no time for grooming!

Much like our visit to West Virginia's infamous "Mystery Hole," there isn't a whole heck of a lot we can divulge about our visit to The Thing?.

Except that it pays to read signs or, rather, I paid by not reading the sign.
Homeboy is only five years old, an age I prefer to call "FREE" - that's
seventy-five cents I'll never get back...

But what is The Thing?  SPOILER ALERT: We're not going to spoil it for you.  To paraphrase our good friend, Mr Shakespeare, "The Thing? is the thing."  At its current location since 1965, The Thing? is the very essence of tourist trap culture; mile after mile after mile of intriguing billboards lure travelers to what amounts to little more than a roadside souvenir stand.

But gosh darn it if even the most savvy road
warriors can't resist the call of The Thing?

Following the path marked by yellow monster footprints, the multifaceted, walk-thru experience features exhibits of dazzling variety, culminating in an encounter with The Thing?

Walk this way...

It is tradition to remain mum about the horrors/wonders of The Thing? and we intend to keep that tradition alive.  Truly, it just wouldn't feel right to deprive you of the staggering personal revelation that comes with your own visit to Dragoon, Arizona's greatest mystery.  What I can safely reveal is that if you are hurtling along the I-10, it is entirely worth the bargain price of one dollar to hit the brakes and come face-to-??? with The Thing?

"What is it?"
"It's a wonder!"

The best part about The Thing? is that its location (just past the middle of nowhere) means the only way to see it is on a road trip.  So we encourage you to get up early and hit the road for some good, old-timey adventure.  For when the desert wind goes deathly still and you see the unlikely oasis of corrugated-metal structures painted in broad stripes of primary colors, you can be sure that your brush with The Thing? is nigh.

"The Thing" - Phil Harris


The Thing?
2631 N Johnson Rd
Dragoon, AZ


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Checking-In: Hotel Congress

The finest sight that any carload of road-weary travelers can see is that of a crackling neon sign standing sentinel atop an historic landmark hotel, beckoning them in for a night of much-needed slumber.

wacky tacky hotel congress
A glowing sight for sore eyes in Tucson, AZ

"Congress" is perhaps an all-too-accurate name for a place that over the past 95 years has undoubtedly housed so many "acts of congress" within its walls that it should soon be putting a bid in for President (zing!!!).  Actually, the name of Tucson, Arizona's most famous hotel, Hotel Congress (est. 1919) comes from the tree-lined street on which it proudly stands (incidentally, Congress St took its name from a 19th-Century Saloon).

Hotel Congress - Tucson, AZ

Primarily known as the last hideout of John Dillinger's gang (a January 1934 fire, started in the hotel basement, exposed the thugs and eventually led to the capture of their leader at a nearby residence), the hotel continues to host "Dillinger Days," on the third weekend in January.  Since then, hotel guests have been of either a more upstanding or a more otherworldly variety.  Yep, as with most hotels of a certain age, rumors abound that some guests of Hotel Congress check in but they never check out; we were so tired that the only thing that we saw during the night of our stay was the inside of our eyelids.

They must have known that a terrazzo entry is always a winner
in the book of wacky tacky!  That's kind of spooky, right?

The facade of Hotel Congress is stately, if a little unassuming but...

Once the threshold is crossed, one is
treated to a Southwestern step back in time.

Decorated in the Puebo Deco style (a combination of traditional Art Deco geometry and iconic Southwestern motifs), the common areas of Hotel Congress are a wacky tacky wonderland.  A mix of pattern, color, and shape, the near visual overload is grounded by rich woods and Spanish Colonial furniture.

The lobby, the landings, and the hallways are all decked out in Pueblo Deco finery.
Southwest design schemes tend to walk a very fine line; when it turns into that
flute-playing silhouette and those giant, metal lizards above the fireplace, I'm out. 

Hotel Congress falls decidedly on the SAFE side of that style divide!

Spare by contemporary hotel standards, the guest rooms are actually a treat for full-immersion vintage lovers looking to escape the modern world.  I was shocked to enter a room devoid of a television; and yet the absence of televisions and other modern amenities truly enriched both the overall experience and my sleep!

Black and white tiles and a pedestal sink make the bathroom feel perfectly old-timey.
Simple iron beds made up with white chenille bedspreads, modest furnishings,
and patterned, flat-weave carpets, made the whole experience period perfect!

The third-story sun deck, with its scenic mural of a stunning Southwest vista, looks
incredible and incredibly eerie bathed in the blood-red glow of the hotel's rooftop sign. 

If you find yourself in Tucson, AZ without a place to stay, why not hide out like an all-American hoodlum or haunt like an all-American ghost, and check-in to Hotel Congress.


Hotel Congress
311 E Congress St
Tucson, AZ
(520)622-8848

hotelcongress.com


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Monday, February 17, 2014

Solvang: California's Counterfeit Copenhagen

Do all fathers find it necessary to start road trips at three o'clock in the morning?  It never failed that the reveille of flickering bedroom lights at 2:45AM indicated that the time to hit the hay had ended and the time to hit the road had begun.  With sleep still very much in our eyes, we would stumble down the hallway dragging our blankets behind us and pile into the minivan for the kind of lackluster road trip where the only opportunities to see old-timey landmarks were the split seconds when the same were illuminated by headlights zooming by at 65 miles per hour.  Instead of staring into the darkness of a roadside abyss, we inevitably opted for more sleep.  My parents always said that an early start would help us avoid traffic but I suspect that 6+ hours in the car was much easier with five sleeping kids. 

As an adult, I admire mom and dad for their parental trickery.  Even as a child, I couldn't really blame them for the pre-dawn start because I fell asleep in suburban Orange County and woke up in Copenhagen. 


I'll never forget my first view of Solvang, CA, just a pit stop on our much-longer trek.  We pulled off onto a bucolic highway and, after a few minutes of gawking at ostrich farms, found ourselves in the center of 17th Century Denmark.  Surrounded by misty mountains, Solvang (Danish for "sunny valley") is the settlement of a few early-20th Century Danish transplants.  Set on recreating a taste of the old country in a familiar, if highly-unlikely, setting (downtown Solvang borders the old Mission Santa Ines), these wacky tacky pioneers commissioned a few half-timber buildings, with further residential and commercial construction following suit.  Needless to say, I was smitten; to me, a young child, it was an extension of Disneyland, a magical, fairy tale village only a few hours from home.

Only a few blocks in any direction, the village of Solvang envelops visitors in a
fully-realized environment of windmills, copper roofs, and half-timber construction.

A week ago, my brother and sister-in-law kidnapped me for a day of fun and adventure (not so sure that the duct tape, threats, and firearms were necessary).  We returned to Solvang with pleasure and purpose; one of my favorite and altogether-secret spots for fabric shopping is in the basement of Hans Christian Andersen Square, a complex of shops and a cafe owned and operated by a local family.  Talk about bargain basement prices; for only one dollar per yard I would practically buy my weight in fabric on each visit.  It was at this very location where I bought yards and yards of barkcloth and even found the fabric for this tropical frock and this border-printed number.

A photo of a fabric-buying expedition from years back.
Can you tell that cheap fabric makes these brothers happy?!  Weeeeee!!!

Sadly, the store was no longer in operation.  We entered the Solvang Information Center to see if the store had moved and to inquire after the family.  We learned that the patriarch of the family had recently passed away and, due to a possible dispute regarding the estate/will, all inventory was removed and the stores/cafe shuttered.  As I spoke to the kind and highly-informative information representative, I noticed a beautiful accordion spotlighted by a shaft of afternoon sunlight.  It took a little goading on my part, but eventually he picked it up and played it for me.



"The Happy Wanderer"
A more fitting song for the wacky tacky
adventure team would be hard to find.

Directionless and left to our own devices, we quickly settled into some of our more reliable exploits - eating and hijinks.

Solvang is a veritable smorgasbord of smorgasbords but we only really make room for Denmark's most-famous foodstuffs.  Several years ago our family hosted a young, Danish student* and, if good for nothing else, he answered the age-old question, "What do the Danes call a danish?" - answer, "Wienerbrød" which translates directly to "Viennese bread."  While Solvang does offer delicious Austrian danish, it should be noted that it is one of the few places in California to get the real Danish pastry, the aebleskiver (a pancake ball covered in jam and powdered sugar).

  *Incidentally, we made sure that he visited Solvang during his stay; he reported that Solvang
is a comically-inaccurate yet particularly-enjoyable translation of Danish culture.

I would say something about the old woman who lived in a shoe but I think she'd get mad.
I will say that the Danish-Mexican bobsled team is said to be a SHOE-in at the Winter Olympics.

After toying with the idea of hijacking a Segway tour, we decided instead to continue our wacky tacky walk around town.  We stopped in some thrift stores, crashed an antique sale, and stopped for every possible photo-op. 

What else would you do when introduced to Denmark's
favorite native son?  I think this is Danish protocol to give
Mr. Andersen a helping "Hans."

Besides defiling one of history's most-beloved authors, one of our favorite things to do in Solvang is take the back road out of town through the deer-covered hills and rolling farmland.  We invariably end up at an organic farm stand that operates on the honor system - Jeez Louise, it's a good thing we're so honorable!  Seasonal fruit, verdant greens (is that redundant?), gourds, and root vegetables are to be had at very reasonable prices.

Leave it to me, an avowed member of the animal resistance league, to fail miserably when I finally step out of my comfort zone and try to feed the goats; these billies and nannies were having absolutely no part of it.  I realize that my only point of reference is ever-reliable cartoons, but aren't goats supposed to eat tin cans and umbrellas?  Imagine turning your nose up at organic carrots!!!  Well, the joke is on you goats,  more carrots for me.....

If you find yourself a "Happy Wanderer," be sure to wander over to Solvang.  You won't find deeply-discounted fabric but you'll find a whole lot of faux-Danish charm!

Have you ever been to Solvang?  Do you have any similar towns near you?  If you are a reader from Denmark, please tell us what you think of California's answer to Copenhagen.


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Friday, January 27, 2012

PDX, PDQ: Portland in a Hurry!








Part of our recent adventure in the Pacific Northwest included an all too brief stay in Portland, Oregon.  I wonder how many people are actually native to Portland as in the last ten years, Portland has seen more than its fair share of Southern California transplants including many of my friends.  If you're up for a long ride, here is "Rose City" as viewed through wacky tacky-colored glasses.


FRIENDS

The locals - Jason & Mindy
Wonderful tour guides and incredible friends!

FOOD

Byways Cafe
From what I gather, Portland is a breakfast/brunch town; we ended up at this charming cafe that was filled with amazing, vintage road trip souvenirs and travel accoutrements.  It was very comfortable and not at all self-conscious or overly satisfied with it's traditional American cafe/diner aesthetic.

While everyone else was enjoying the heartiest of buckwheat hot cakes and the most savory of breakfast scrambles,
I had this - toast as dry as the Sahara and a bowl of fruit from which I was not allowed to eat the bananas.  This is not a commentary on the tastiness of the Byways Cafe, but rather on the bland and boring diet which I find myself.

Portland is a "foodie" town (not for me, darn it) and apparently,
no trip to Portland is complete without a visit to Voodoo Doughnut.

"The Magic is in the Hole"






They had me at glitter bricks!
wacky tacky bylaw #48:  If it can't be spray-painted gold and/or
 covered in glitter, it is probably not worth having.







 The Chocolate-Chick-o-stick & The Peanut Butter-Chocolate-Oreo donuts

We're far too refined to mention the name of this
particular donut but you can probably get the idea.

McMinnville Cream
A raised donut, filled with Bavarian cream and
topped with maple icing - and a moustache!

The eponymous Voodoo Doughnut
Raised donut filled with raspberry jelly, covered in
chocolate frosting and run through with a pretzel

 LODGING


The Palms Motor Hotel
Do NOT be fooled by the amazing neon!  It's not that the rooms at The Palms are worse than any other motel, but the owners are CRAZY!  They offered a particular price over the phone and then added five dollars when we actually arrived.  When they finally agreed to honor the price they quoted over the phone, and after they had run my credit card, they determined that a $5 per person, per night charge had to be assessed for a non-smoking room.  Why, you ask?  Because some people rent a non-smoking room and then smoke outside the room and then potentially the smoke might have the opportunity to waft into said non-smoking room creating in effect a non non-smoking room.
I didn't buy it either and I am still the proud owner of $5.  The monkey alone, however, was almost worth the hassle.

SIGNS

Speaking of amazing signs, my favorite part about Portland was the incredible signage everywhere one looked.  I hate to say it, but I think Portland outdoes even Los Angeles in its commitment to maintaining these incredible markers.  I had convinced myself that I took many more photos of cool signs, but I guess I didn't.  I'm not sure how many more photos could be included in this post anyway...you're only about halfway through!

Portland Outdoor Store
A neon cowboy on a bucking bronco!!!!

Bagdad Theater

Hung Far Low - Chop Suey & Cocktails

We drove past the Portland, Oregon sign about 100 times.
I obsessed over it until we finally pulled over and took a picture.







It looks even better at night!


McMENAMINS


I learned a new word when I was in Portland, "McMenamins."  McMenamins is a brewer that began reclaiming old buildings and turning them into multi-use spaces that include restaurants, bars, art and performance venues, movie theaters, and hotels.  The best part is that they preserve as much of the architectural interest and integrity of the structures as possible.  I think other large cities should be taking note and repurposing buildings doomed to demolition or dereliction. We visited the Kennedy Elementary School location.  Built in 1915, the school turned hotel/bar/restaurant/theater is beautiful and makes my elementary school look pretty low-budget by comparison.

Some of the original Kennedy School students

Oh, how times have changed!

The Boiler Room
The multi-level bar in the school's original boiler room.


 A never-ending fixation with light fixtures

A pint-sized drinking fountain

A hydrating giant

This is the longest that most of these people have ever spent in school.

THE WEIRD

It was only a couple of days, but the weird quotient grew exponentially as soon as we entered the city limits. 


A flying squirrel in Powell's Books

Giant kinetic sculpture in the heart of Portland
The strange part of this piece is that one must be at least
 six feet tall in order to participate.  Fortunately, Jason was
just the right height to adjust the angle of the dangle. 

THE EXOTIC

Whispers of the exotic Orient

Although we didn't enter the premises, Mary's Club had a neat sign and we
were told it is one of the oldest clubs of its kind in Portland - Exotic! 

I found real exoticism is things far more tame than the the Golden Dragon and Mary's.  
I found it in..(insert drum roll)...MOSS!  
I loved that almost every available surface was covered in its fuzzy verdure.

Moss not exotic enough for you?  How about.....SNOW!
It snowed while we were there.  I had heard of snow and I had seen evidence
of snow on the ground, but until Portland, I had no proof that it actually fell
from the sky.

I guess naming this post "pretty darn quick" was rather misleading; looking through these photos might take longer than our whole stay in Portland.  I edited the best I could, but we tried to pack a heck of a lot into less than 48 hours!  I feel like we just skimmed the surface of what Portland has to offer and I can't wait to go back to visit friends both old and new - when it is not so COLD!


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny