Probing New Mexico's OUTER LIMITS!!!

I don't usually go in for all that outer space, alien jive.  I just have too many earthbound issues I must resolve before I even begin to consider the possibilities of interplanetary invasion.  I have no problem believing that somewhere in the vast expanses of time and space there exist other life forms leading parallel lives.  I simply wonder why we are forced to believe that they are so superior to human kind as we know it - not only superior but aggressive, imperialistic, and ultimately deadly (okay, so maybe those are things we have in common).  It also seems odd to me, given the limitless reaches of outer space, that these hyper-intellectual and highly-malevolent beings would bother with such a dopey planet like Earth.  Then again, I've never tried to sell a sci-fi screenplay.  Or maybe I'm just frustrated that for all of my provocative behavior, I hardly ever get abducted and never, ever probed...

Although seemingly unrelated, New Mexico, with its numerous military installations and storied history of nuclear testing, has garnered quite a reputation for extraterrestrial encounters.  I suppose it's only fair that Nevada's Area 51 share some of the glory with its Southwestern neighbors.  Not quite as prevalent (outside of Roswell) as the imagery of New Mexico's indigenous peoples, UFO symbolism can still be found everywhere from gas stations, to souvenir stands, to entire buildings!

Like this roadside UFO with which we were so thrilled to have a "close encounter" on our way to the Carlsbad Caverns.

Looking like an abandoned set piece from Plan 9 from Outer Space, the lure of this temporarily-grounded flying saucer was irresistible; we were as powerless to its wacky tacky tractor beam as we were to that of its second-cousin, the Arizona Space Orb.  And me without my tinfoil hat.

Sure, there are "Private Property: Keep Out" signs dotting the
perimeter but we're always very respectful in our tresspassery...
and "keeping out" never got the photo-op.

Although, I have to wonder, if one has both the means and motivation to build a novelty structure yet is somehow plagued by unmitigated misanthropy, why on earth would one construct that thematic building along a major automotive artery, the only real road in-and-out of Carlsbad, NM?  You have to know that folks are going to want to stop and take pictures.  If you were any kind of business man, you'd have a stand to sell pop, keychains, and ray guns.

Speaking of thematic buildings, the gorgeous shade structure at the onsite, employees-only picnic
grounds looks like it belongs with the Theme Building at Los Angeles International Airport.

If indeed there are alien life forms interested in exploring our people and planet, then I choose to believe they are a kindly race of beings like E.T., Mork, or ALF.  After all, spaying and neutering your pets is all well and good but we obviously need a more powerful resource in helping to control the burgeoning population of unwanted cats!

"ALF Theme" (1986)
('cause ALF eats cats...)

Cheers & Nanu Nanu!

Mr. Tiny

Save My Sole: The Big Shoe Shoe Repair

Did you hear about the big fire at the old cobbler's shop?  One hundred soles were lost.  I'll bet some heel started it!  Thank goodness that in 1947, an entrepreneur of unmatched brilliance, Mr. Deschwanden by name, decided to hang the shingle of his shoe repair business on Bakersfield's bustling Chester Avenue.

The Big Shoe Shoe Repair - Bakersfield, CA

For as much roadside excitement as we enjoy in California by way of googie coffee shops and fanciful playgrounds, we suffer from a distinct lack of thematic architecture (or maybe I just want more).  With the exception of the occasional giant tamale/orange/donut and muffler man, most of our novelty structures are naught but history.  So where do the last remaining muffler men go when they've worn down the heels on their big, crepe-soled shoes?  They go to The Big Shoe Shoe Repair, of course!!!

It was at this moment that I was despairing over my choice of footwear - if only I had the
foresight to have donned my white bucks.  You know how I love to team with the theme!

My casual shoes notwithstanding, I'm glad that the original architect of this wood-framed shoe decided to go with a classic style.  I'm not so sure that a sneaker would have gained as much traction in this - or any - community.  I mean, who wants to visit an athlete's foot?!?!!

Before we visited the Big Shoe, I thought I had big feet.  Finding out that a
fifty-foot length of rope makes up the shoelace certainly put me in my place.
I rather enjoyed the rarity of feeling dainty...

Naturally, we would never go all the way to visit a giant shoe without taking a peek inside.  Tongue-tied, the proprietor and patrons weren't that keen on having us snap their photo, so we backed out of the tiny shop.  I'm not sure what I was expecting, but the interior of the "big" shoe was exceptionally small.  To further our disillusionment, it also seems that the nursery rhyme is all a lie, nary an old woman nor her passel of ill-behaved children in sight.  We were waiting for the other shoe to drop but based on the proportions of this shoe, we thought better of it.  The nice thing was that it smelled as fresh as a daisy - a leather, adhesive, and shoe-polish daisy.

Do you have any thematic architecture in your neighborhood?  If you were a well-heeled old woman, would you live in a shoe?  If we lived in Bakersfield, it probably goes without saying that all of our shoe repair business would go to The Big Shoe because that's how all mama's children wanna rock!

"All Mama's Children" - Carl Perkins

We're not sure where our next adventure will be; all we know is that it will have some pretty big shoes to fill (a pretty big shoe to fill?)!!!


The Big Shoe Shoe Repair
931 Chester Ave
Bakersfield, CA
(661)864-1002


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Chow Time: Brolly Hut

As the wacky wagon took us on one of our meandering drives to nowhere - via Torrance, CA landmarks Alpine Village and King's Hawaiian Bakery (and a few fortuitously-placed thrift stores) - I bemoaned our utter exhaustion of local wacky tacky resources.  I wondered aloud how much longer I could keep our adventures going without dedicating myself full-time to creating and documenting wacky tacky the world over (file that under: "My perfect and perfectly-unattainable life").

Then like one of those proverbial "Pennies from Heaven," just waiting for my umbrella (and my frown) to be turned upside down, came Brolly Hut (est. 1968).  The imagery may seem convoluted but, in this instance, it definitely makes solid sense to me that Brolly Hut is both the umbrella and the pennies...

Brolly Hut - Inglewood, CA

Not to be confused with its disinherited second-cousin by marriage in Hawthorne, CA, Brolly Hut is an anomaly even among Southern California's proud heritage of vernacular architecture, not so much for its form - after all, Seal Beach had The Parasol - rather for its name.  While visiting Australia I heard a few references to a "brolly;" following context clues I finally figured out that brolly meant umbrella (I'm always a little slow on the uptake).  Upon my return, I kept affecting my newfound down-under dialect around my aunt, an Australian transplant.  The moment I realized that she clearly had no idea to what I was referring was the last time I ever employed the use of the term "brolly."  I'm not sure if there are regional nicknames for an umbrella throughout America, but in California an umbrella is an umbrella.  I mean, who actually says "brolly" anyway?

It doesn't matter, Mr. Tiny always comes prepared with his own jolly brolly!!

As Mary was quick to note, we started our day with nothing but directionless angst and ended it eating inside a giant umbrella!  There are many interesting buildings around town in which to have an adequate meal where only the ghostly shadows of a once wildly-wacky tacky heritage remain.  The beautiful thing about Brolly Hut is that, instead of engaging in a systematic stripping away of character or allowing dereliction and decay, it maintains all of the original charm that informs diners how Brolly Hut got its name; without some of the simple but significant details, it would be so easy for folks to forget what makes Brolly Hut so special.

I am always transfixed by beautiful/clever/outrageous light fixtures and
this bounty of beautiful brollies did not disappoint; they truly illuminated
the space even when they were not illuminated themselves.

Eating between the spokes of a giant umbrella is a treat but
Brolly Hut's clever use of space is the real sensation.  Diving into
pastrami burritos, Colossal Burgers, and onion rings (we saw one
person enjoying all of these things), guests belly up to one of the
dozen-or-so laminate tables that arc around the enclosed counter and
kitchen.  The terrazzo floor, the mosaic tile, and the orange, molded-
fiberglass stools are their own silent reminders of fine-dining circa 1968.

Brolly Hut has an A-rating and appears to run a tidy operation.
Mary and I are both trying to avoid extreme eating and remember
that food is almost incidental to the "Chow Time" experience;
she chose a chicken salad and I a rather tasty chicken sandwich -
not a french fry in sight (a personal triumph)!!!

Brolly Hut is also a spectacular vantage for immersive people watching.  There was the lady who came in for the $4.59 hamburger special - I know because she said it right out loud to herself - but returned to the order window three times to upgrade her order item by item; she ended up with the Colossal Pastrami Burger, a massive Coke, and a large order of onion rings.  Lest you think I'm singularly obsessed with food, I should explain that I am obsessed with all of the details, like her tri-tone wig and the one leg of her leatherette leggings worn scrunched up to the knee, and her mismatched earrings.  As we say,"That's the money outfit."  There was also the hobo who performed a particularly-moving monologue about the deliciousness of the pastrami burrito for the entire restaraunt, "It's the best thing they got.  It has my heart and I always come back for my heart..."  It was literally theater in the round!!!  Most people completely ignored this fellow's petitions for financial assistance; so taken with his performance, Mary made a generous contribution toward the burrito fund (one of the more-expensive items on the menu) - only the best for our brolly friends!

If you've got a hankering for some fast food, we recommend skipping the golden arches or that fraudulent hamburger "royalty."  If you're caught in a rainstorm of wacky tacky doubt, seek the shelter of Brolly Hut.  And be sure that your brolly is upside down!!!

"Pennies from Heaven" - Louis Prima

Brolly Hut
11205 Crenshaw Blvd
Inglewood, CA
(310)674-2344

brollyhut.com


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny