Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Crazy Crafty: I'm Dreaming of a BIG Dream Pet!

Perhaps it is the flocks ("herds" doesn't allow for such clever word play) of flocked reindeer so ubiquitous at the holidays. Perhaps it is because they are the only pets that don't amplify my seasonal allergies.  Or perhaps it is the fact that they are a perpetual line item (bold and underlined) on my yearly letters to Santa Claus.  Whatever the reason, Dream Pets always remind me of Christmas.  It doesn't really matter that the only two Dream Pets I own that are not currently in storage include a backpacking squirrel and a red-and-white poodle; I can't help but get wistful for the holiday season whenever I see a Dream Pet.

At least I think it's a poodle...

One might think that after my tedious dealings with Mary's Showgirl Halloween costume that I would have gotten my fill of red velveteen but after giving the remnants a second look, I started dreaming of a big Dream Pet.  Attempting to recreate the red-and-white poodle Dream Pet in a large scale, would be my way of finally setting Halloween aside and welcoming in the winter holiday.

I actually had nearly all the materials on hand - red velveteen, fiber fill,
button nose, pink material for the tongue and eyelids, and black vinyl for the
eyelashes.  The only thing I needed to buy was one skein of nubby white yarn!

Much like the crack team at Madame Tussaud's, I had to carefully study my subject, taking countless measurements, making several plaster molds, and photographing it from every angle.

Or maybe, and much more likely, I just dove head first into making my own pattern with
absolutely no technical understanding of pattern drafting/grading for poodles whatsoever.

After one rough draft, I started sewing, pushing past the usual thoughts of, "This is never going to work," that occur whenever I begin a new project.  I was afraid I had hit a major roadblock when, after stuffing its red, velveteen body, I sewed the Dream Pet shut and stood up, or rather tried to stand up, my strange, faceless creation.  The disproportionately-gargantuan head toppled the pet over every time.  Mildly discouraged, I forged ahead, figuring that adding the tail would act as a suitable counterbalance; and wouldn't you know, it worked! 

What resulted, however, was hardly an exact replica of the toy.
Generously described as only a reasonable facsimile, the poodle's
fluffy fur was achieved by making the world's longest chain of single 
crochet (I'm trying to make that sound fancy but after one lesson, 
more than fifteen years ago, the only crochet stitch I still remember 
how to do is a single crochet).  I simply wrapped the legs and looped 
the crochet chain over the tail's wire frame.

Sure, my big Dream Pet's enormous head is cocked at a jaunty angle, the fur is bright white, and the eyes
are a little high on the head.  Nevertheless, I think this pair could easily pass in public as parent and child.

To heighten the seasonal splendor, and to avoid the inevitable cease-and-desist
orders from the Dakin Corporation, I averted what would otherwise be considered
blatant trademark infringement by making my Dream Pet's bow out of vintage
"Velvette" ribbon in emerald green and topping it with a holiday pick from the
local cake supply store!

This Christmas, while most people are dreaming about luxury goods and a giant, red bow atop a brand new car, you can be sure that Mr. Tiny's Dream Pet reverie will only be briefly interrupted by the occasional visions of sugarplums dancing in my head.  

The most common emails I receive all revolve around the same basic
question, "Mr. Tiny," they ask, "in what do you sleep?"  The answer is
always the same - my glasses and a stocking cap, you weirdos!

Incidentally, the photographer indicated that this is possibly the most disturbing
photo she's ever had to take of me.  All I can say is, "Sweet dreams, everybody!"

Do you dream about Dream Pets?  Do you collect them?  Which is your favorite?  Does a giant Dream Pet defeat the purpose of these terrifically-tiny little toys?  Whether you dream of Dream Pets or White Christmases, we hope that all your holiday dreams come true!

"White Christmas" - Bing Crosby


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas!

No matter how often I try to face the reality that recapturing the magic of childhood Christmases is impossible, I find that I still subconsciously set unrealistic expectations of what I should be doing and how I should be feeling when the big day rolls around.  In my mind, the day should last longer, the lights should be brighter, the gifts more bountiful, the spirit more pervasive, and the nog just a little more eggy.

(Source)

I think it's the adult pressure to have a "perfect" Christmas that makes me go a little nutty - "nuttier than a fruitcake," is the phrase that comes to mind.  After all of the planning, prepping, decorating, delivering, shopping, baking, cooking, and cleaning, I'm feeling much more exhausted than festive - and that's before the family comes over!  I guess I'll "yust" let Yogi tell you...

"I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas" - Yogi Yorgesson (1949)

Is it wrong to take comfort in the universality of a half-crazed Christmas?  Even in 1949, the mad dash for presents, the bills, and the poorly-behaved relations were common elements at every holiday celebration.  And so I say, so what if all the nuts in my family qualify our living room as its own "Nutcracker Suite," I "yust" go nuts FOR Christmas!  In spite (or maybe because) of the madness, I still "en-yoy" the Christmas holiday and I hope that you do too.

Now that's NUTS!
(Source)
Here is wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy & Prosperous New Year!!! 


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Holy Rollin': Desert Christ Park

As much as we Northern Hemisphere-ians associate the Christmas holiday with frigid temperatures and blankets of purest snow, the fact is that even at its coldest, Bethlehem probably won't dip below the mid-50's Fahrenheit this December 25 (I totally checked weather.com or something).

With Christmas just a few days away, it only seems appropriate to visit California's answer to the barren, sun-scorched terrain of ancient Jerusalem - Desert Christ Park in Yucca Valley, CA.


Constructed in 1951 by designer/evangelist, Frank Antone Martin, Desert Christ Park is a five-acre statuary garden depicting the life and ministry of Jesus Christ.  Situated on a sandy hillside, the park is the perfect place to reflect on the joys of the season in a setting not too dissimilar from the first Christmas, I reckon.

The wacky tacky adventure team enjoyed the opportunity to
reflect the attitudes and poses of the 60-year-old desert statues.

It's probably bad form to crash the Last Supper but I have a feeling He'd say,
"There's always room at my table."  What's a few more loaves and fishes, anyway?

Desert Christ Park is not itself a church but its religious nature makes it an ideal candidate for our "Holy Rollin'" series.  Plus, the grounds do include an awesome rock chapel - The Rock Chapel to be exact.

Through the cruciform window of The Rock Chapel, one can catch a glimpse of Christ's ascension.
With a capacity of about twenty people, we think The Rock Chapel 
would make an ideal location for an intimate, wacky tacky wedding.

The real fun of DCP is the opportunity for immersive participation with Martin's scriptural sculptures.

Emily was pretty proud of herself for helping...


Spoonin' and sunbathin'


"Seven heads are better than two," as the old saying goes.

It's been a rough thirty-three years.

I think there is a reason that people flock to the desert for spiritual awakening; America's Southwest has long been heralded for its calming, healing, and centering properties and Desert Christ Park is no exception.  Whether you're of the Christian faith or not, Desert Christ Park will make a believer (in sweet, roadside statuary) out of you.

Group hug!

Although it is difficult for me to understand, I realize that there are folks out there who actually enjoy the cold climes of those parts of the world that experience real winter weather.  I am such a wimp when it comes to the slightest chill that I am thrilled to report that these pictures are an accurate reflection of a Southern California Christmas (it's supposed to be 82 degrees on Wednesday).  My Christmas wish (which could be the beginning of my own personal episode of The Twilight Zone) would be to make like the statues of Desert Christ Park and bask in the perpetual peace and sunshine of the desert all winter long.  I love our winter weather!

"Winter Weather" - The Benny Goodman Orchestra (1941)

Warm or cold, we truly hope that all of your wacky tacky celebrations are merry and bright!  Merry Christmas!


Desert Christ Park
56218 Sunnyslope Dr
Yucca Valley, CA



Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Kitsch-en Kounter: It's A Marshmallow World in the Winter

The other night at a holiday party, the Rice-A-Roni jingle was getting quite a lot of play (not at all unusual for the types of parties I attend).  Once performed, the song is on perpetual replay in everyone's mind until replaced by something equally infectious; the jingle eventually led to intense and provocative discussions of other processed foods and pre-packaged meal-aids like Hamburger Helper and Shake 'N Bake.  With equal parts pride and embarrassment, I had to admit that in all my years, I had never tried any of these products (fancy, name-brand items were reserved for the rich and famous).  For better or worse, we were raised without the benefit of many packaged and processed foods; that meant no "San Francisco Treat," no TV dinners, and definitely no Hostess Sno Ball snack cakes.  

All these years my parents deprived us of  the "Energy snack!"

On the way home from the same party we were listening to a stellar, Christmas music mix that included "It's A Marshmallow World," as performed by the inimitable Darlene Love (a welcome replacement for the ringing bell of a San Francisco cable car).  After a full night's sleep of digesting lyrics like "It's a yum-yummy world," "It's a whipped cream day," "In winter it's a marshmallow world," and "The world is your snowball," I kid you not when I woke up and exclaimed aloud, "SNO BALL CAKE!!!"  Thus, the next entry into our wacky tacky Kitsch-en Kounter was born.  It's like the song was written by Hostess as jingle for it's snowy, pink treats.

Obviously, reproduction Sno Balls are not an original concept.
This vintage ad for Swift'ning Shortening shows that cotton 
candy-colored coconut cakes are a perennial favorite.

Like a well-formed snowball, all the birthdays in my family are densely packed around the holidays; I knew that the next birthday cake I made had to be an homage to the coconut confection of the same name.

The inspiration - a rich, devil's food cake filled with cream, covered
in a layer of marshmallow and dusted with bright PINK coconut.

Don't get me wrong Mr. Presley, your "Blue Christmas" may be second only in colorful, yuletide magic to Mr. Crosby's "White Christmas," but I think that I have forever been converted to a PINK Christmas! 

I'll have a pink Christmas!
I was surprised to find that a twelve-pack of Sno Balls was just under three dollars - leaving me wondering why it is so much cheaper (in the short run) to eat junk food.  Instead of pondering the complexities of a serious subject like my own place in America's obesity epidemic and healthcare crisis, I grabbed the Sno Balls and a box of Copitos (some strange, pink coconut/marshmallow blob on a chocolate cookie trying to horn in on the pink coconut craze) and made it out of the store for just over four dollars!

My Sno Ball is a three-layer, devil's food cake with whipped-cream filling.
The icing is a pink-tinted, marshmallow buttercream with dyed-to-match coconut.

Now is the time when I must admit that I still have not had an official Sno Ball snack cake; I didn't save any room after indulging in a hefty slice of my own creation.  Beyond their 1940's provenance and ultra-kooky aesthetic (immortalized in John Waters' Hairspray), I think Sno Ball's are best appreciated from afar (or in the form of a homemade dessert).

Our Sno Ball Tableau
My usual more-is-more philosophy kept nagging me as I patted on the last flakes of pale-pink coconut.
I racked my brain for additional decoration ideas until I remembered that I was trying to recreate the
 simplistic beauty of the original Sno Ball.  Even without adornment, the wacky tacky Sno Ball Cake
is sure to have Mr. Tiny dreaming of a pink Christmas!

"It's A Marshmallow World" - Darlene Love

Have you ever had a Sno Ball or Rice-A-Roni for that matter?  In what color do you dream your Christmases? 


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

p.s. If you've got a hankering for a Sno Ball, you're welcome to come over.  I have a dozen with your name on them! Ho-Ho-Hostess, Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Citizen CANE: Logan's Candy

Keeping area dentists in business for the last eighty years, Logan's Candies (est. 1933) is definitely the sweetest part of downtown Ontario, CA.  Logan's is the destination for dipped chocolates, seasonal sweets, and old-timey candies of all sorts (allsorts included) all year long.  Although, the store really comes to life at Christmastime with those sticky-sweet stars of the season - CANDY CANES! 


Unlike dense, artificially-flavored, mass-produced, store-bought candy canes, Logan's candy canes are crisp, airy, delicate, delicious, and hand-pulled.  For years we've talked about attending the evening candy-cane-making demonstrations offered during the holidays, but this was our first trip to see the magic, mystery, and meaning behind Logan's special brand of candy canes.

CAUGHT IN THE ACT!!!
The wacky tacky adventure team didn't even wait for the demonstrations
or free samples; Jesse, Mary, and Emily dove right in sour gummy-peaches,
chocolate truffles, and almond clusters.  I seriously had to make like Mrs. 
Gloop and tell all these Augustuses to "save some room for later!"

Logan's has a signature stripe pattern on their canes that has not changed since day one.  It was a thrill to watch the masters at work and see a blob of molten, caramel-colored sugar transformed into 400 crooks of minty deliciousness!


 




This was my favorite part of the demonstration.
To create samples, a length of warm candy cane
is placed in a press, removed in a rope, and whipped
against the marble counter.  Voila, perfectly-
sized, pillow-shaped candy cane tasters!

Ever the holiday-enthusiast, Emily was inspired by the samples
to don her festive, if altogether-mismatched, candy cane antlers!

Emily wasn't the only one getting in on the act; we were allowed to bend a couple of canes that were hot off the press!

We made a "W" and a "T" for "wacky tacky."
The "W" also doubles as an "M" for "Mr. Tiny" - how very handy!
Owing their shape in no doubt to my crazy grill, my lips 
can only be described by one immortal word - "Rosebud."

A warm and wacky tacky, "Thanks" to the great folks at Logan's Candies for their delectable holiday tradition!  Please be sure to visit Logan's for all of your candy needs.  Their bending genius isn't limited to candy canes; they make Stars of David, clovers, Easter baskets, hearts, and more!

Do you fancy yourself a "Citizen Cane?"  Have you ever played a candy cane bender, if only for a day?  Is there a candy store specialty in your neighborhood without which you just can't imagine enjoying the holidays?  However you celebrate, we hope your holiday season is as sweet as Logan's beautiful candy canes!



Logan's Candies
125 W B St
Ontario, CA
(909)984-5410

www.loganscandies.com


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Paint Me A Winter Window

(Source)

Remember when every grocery store was outfitted with a lobster tank?  Do you remember when the same grocery stores ran perpetual coloring contests for prizes so spectacular that you often took multiple copies of the coloring page in the event of a mess-up, neurotically over-thought your crayon choices, and stayed within the printed lines like your very life depended on it?  Do you remember when the facades of theses supermarkets were nothing more than great, gleaming, glass canvases just waiting for the deft hand of a skilled artist to anoint them with something far more sophisticated and substantial than posters advertising discounts on canned peas and frozen/defrosted ham hocks?  At Christmastime it was these very grocery stores that transformed into veritable winter wonderlands with a just few strokes of the master's brush.

Welcome to the wonderful world of window painting!

It always seemed to me that holiday window painting ushered in the Christmas season; after Thanksgiving, one would be hard pressed to find a supermarket, a hardware store, a bank, or a coffee shop whose window panes hadn't been visited by a skillful "Jack Frost."  It appears, however, as monolithic, windowless grocery stores, and political correctness have taken their jackbooted foothold, that window painting has taken a backseat to dispassionate displays of joyless, holiday-neutral consumerism.  On my first venture out to look for holiday window art, I was disheartened to drive for miles and miles without a single example to document.  It was as if, in unison, retailers were joined in singing a chorus of "Little Jack Frost, Get Lost."  Just when I thought hope was lost, I began to see a few holiday holdouts - with all of the usual suspects present and accounted for.

SANTA CLAUS
The obligatory Santa Claus adorns so many windows and doors
that it is hard to chose a favorite.  The obvious choice for many
would be the rock 'n roll Santa (or even sexy siren Santa), but I  am
quite partial to the primitive, noseless, coal-eyed Santa (top-right).

A Southern California sleigh ride

CHRISTMAS TREES
There is no shortage of evergreen varietals in our neck of the woods; we have spongey, blobby, stack-y, and zig-zaggy.

SNOWMEN
Don't worry, the improbability of a Snowman coexisting happily with a
swordfish is not lost on me (even if said swordfish is wearing a Christmas cap).
I guess that is why I love the realism of the gleefully-melting snowman with
tyrannosaurus arms sticking out of the lowest part of his corpulent frame.

REINDEER & WREATHS
I really like the white wreath with the ornaments of primary colors
but it pales in comparison to Santa's long-lost reindeer, Bootsie!

CANDY CANES
I can't be the only one who used to whittle down one end of
the candy cane into what can only be described as a shiv, can I?

BABY JESUS
The reason for the season is surprised to find Himself
on the window of Northgate Market in Santa Ana, CA -
one grocery store committed to making their windows
work for them at Christmastime.

For all of the regular Christmas characters that were represented, there were one or two "misfit toys"
to round out the bunch.

"'Buon Natale' means Merry Christmas to you.
Buon Natale and lots of fun; Happy New Year to everyone.
"
This is the window of one of our new favorite places, Claro's Italian Market.

Apparently, for some folks, Christmas has a lot to do with steaming bowls of tripe
soup and seafood; a fan of neither, I can wholeheartedly get behind the custom
of Christmas tamales but I definitely draw the line at rooster eggs...

It is worthy of note, sociologically-speaking, to recognize that every single example of holiday window painting that I encountered was in a neighborhood marked by predominantly-minority populations.  I'm thrilled to know that even if "Main Street, USA" isn't painting its windows this holiday season, that Southern California's diverse communities are keeping a wacky tacky art movement and holiday tradition alive!

In my frenzy to present the best winter windows, I should
acknowledge that not everyone celebrates in the same way.
I don't think that an outward display of one person's celebration
diminishes the validity of another.  I honestly believe that there
is something interesting and worthwhile to be learned from most
faiths/traditions/schools of thought.  More importantly, I believe
that when a flying octopus wishes one a "Merry Christmas," one
should not be offended.  One really ought to be excited; it is a well-
known fact that most flying octopi are agnostic.

"Little Jack Frost, Get Lost" - Frankie Carle & His Orchestra

I may not agree with the sentiment where holiday window 
painting is concerned, but it's got a good beat and I can dance to it.

Have you ever made like Jack Frost and painted some winter wonder on a window?  Do shops in your hometown deck their windows with boughs of temporary, tempera holly?

Season's Greetings from Mr. Tiny to you!


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

"HOW" Do You Say Christmas: A Holiday Wigwam Lighting & Donut Exchange

As many times as I visit San Bernardino, CA's legendary Wigwam Motel, the Route 66 icon never ceases to inspire wonder and joy; and really, are there any more fitting emotions for this most wondrous and joyful time of year?  Whether a road-trip stop, a pow-wow birthday, or a holiday festivity, the Wigwam Motel is an ideal setting for any occasion. 

This past weekend we were hosted by the Wigwam Motel and Charles Phoenix for the first-ever Wigwam Holiday Lighting & Donut Exchange.  Every year, I try to get more people in my life to forgo the tradition of gift giving and instead participate more fully in the season - donating time, caroling, looking at Christmas lights, etc. - and boy, did this event fit the bill.

Thanks to our pal Fabian of Chopit Kustoms, our ride for the evening
was his '55 Buick.  All decked out for Christmas, it looked right at
home amongst the wigwams.
(photo by Fabian)

Guess who was forced to sit in the backseat?
Mr. Tiny, Charles, and our pal, Cherie, who incidentally made the most-
delicious, vegan donuts (pistachio and peppermint).  As is the case in most
photos of me, my eyes were closed so Fabian photoshopped in some googly eyes.
(photo by Fabian)

The wigwam lighting itself was the centerpiece of an event filled with sing-a-longs (my favorite was The Carpenter's "Merry Christmas, Darling") and mountains of donuts (I failed to get a picture of the donut box tower).  Even the wattage of all those bulbs did nothing to stave off the frosty temperatures.


Leave it to the minds of Charles Phoenix and the
Wigwam Motel to create a Christmas tree out of stucco teepee.

In spite of the cold, there was a warm and wonderful turnout.  Hopefully, this is just the first in a new holiday tradition that is certain to get bigger and better with each holiday season.  Wouldn't you love to see all the wigwams lit, flashing in time with a holiday soundtrack?

The group photo
(photo via Charles Phoenix Facebook page)

Thanks to Charles and The Wigwam Motel for helping us get in the holiday spirit!  If you are ever in San Bernardino, be sure to stay in a wigwam!

Wigwam Motel
2728 W Foothill Blvd
San Bernardino, CA
(909)875-3005

www.wigwammotel.com


Cheers!

Mr. Tiny